I have to.
That’s why I enter his room after making sure no one has seen me.
It’s clean now. The Scotch bottle and the glass are gone. The plate that the sandwiches were on, too. Housekeeping must have taken care of them.
Even the couch looks clean, but I don’t sit on it. I don’t want to stand near the bed where Ethan’s sitting, either. Or go to the balcony.
Where do I go?
“What’s wrong?” Ethan asks as he takes off his shoes.
I swallow the lump in my throat and part my lips. Still, no words come out. The voice inside my head starts to shout.
Go on, Stella! You’re out of time. Just ask him how he feels. Or just tell him what you want. Tell him something!
I draw a deep breath. “Do you…?”
I pause because I still lack courage. Ethan’s eyebrows furrow as he waits for me to continue.
“Do you want me to ask if there are any updates from Odermatt Corp.?” I ask.
If the voice in my head belonged to a person, she would be slapping her forehead in exasperation right now. I feel like doing the same.
What is wrong with me?
“You mean if that employee has been found?” Ethan stands up and walks towards me. “Trust me. If that was the case, I would have already known.”
True. He’d be the first to know.
“What, then?” I ask him. “Are you just going to give up? Are you – ?”
Ethan’s lips cut off the rest of my question. Then he pulls away and looks into my eyes.
“Not yet,” he says, his tone as serious as his gaze. “I don’t want to think about that yet.”
Of course not. He must be tired from all that sightseeing.
“I’m so – ”
“You know what I want right now?”
He tucks the loose strands of my hair behind my ear and parks his hand beneath my jaw. He moves his thumb and it brushes against my lips. Heat stirs beneath my skin.
Under the spell of Ethan’s intense gaze, my lips part. I try to capture his thumb, but he drops his hand and steps back.
“I want to take a shower right now,” he says as he starts to remove his belt.
Of course he does.
He throws his belt on the bed and starts walking towards the bathroom. Then he stops and turns. His narrowed eyes meet mine as he extends his hand.
“Would you like to join me?”
My eyes grow wide. Ethan wants me… to take a shower with him?
The voice in my head adamantly tells me to say no, but I can hear another voice whispering in the background.
Go on. This could be your last chance to be with Ethan.
True. If he doesn’t have any feelings for me – and I promise I’ll ask him before I leave this room – I’ll have to end things with him. We’ll go back to just being boss and employee. I’ll never get to have sex with the man I love again. The only man I’ve loved in my life so far.
If that’s how things will end, I want to have sex with him one last time.
I drop my purse, kick off my shoes and step forward to take Ethan’s hand.
“Sure.”
I’m in need of a shower anyway.
He pulls me into the bathroom. It’s bigger than mine, with a separate shower stall and bathtub. For a moment, my eyes wander to the tub as my imagination gives birth to a new fantasy – a bubble bath with Ethan. That bursts as Ethan lets go of my hand and starts to take off his shirt.
Forget about fantasy. This right here is a dream come true.
A part of me wants to stand still and watch Ethan strip, to enjoy the show, but a greater part wants to feel him instead of just look at him. And I can’t do that if my clothes are still on.
I push the straps of my denim jumper off my shoulders and push the dress down to my knees. After I step out of it, I look at Ethan and realize that he’s down to his black boxers. He pulls them off, and when he straightens up, I see his thick cock. It’s not yet hard but it’s already massive. I swallow.
Ethan puts his hand on his hip. “Like what you see?”
“I…”
Again, I’m at a loss for words. Ethan chuckles, then crosses his arms over his smooth chest.
“Go on. I’ll wait for you.”
I close my mouth and grab the hem of my pink turtleneck. I try to keep my embarrassment at bay as I peel it off.
Strange. Taking my clothes off seems more uncomfortable than having Ethan undress me, which he’s done each time we’ve had sex. Even more so because I can feel Ethan staring at me intently, watching my every move and relishing every inch of skin I reveal. My heart pounds in my chest. My cheeks catch fire and the heat spreads through my veins.