Before You

The announcement ended, and there was silence in the plane.

An eerie stillness I hadn’t heard since the engine was hit.

And it was broken when someone cried, “God help us all,” across the cabin, and every fucking hair on my body stood up straight.

“Jared …” Billie’s voice was so soft that I almost didn’t hear her. Her lips were wet with tears. Her eyes so red, they looked raw. “Are we going to be all right?”

I knew the statistics of landing with one engine and a wing that was only going to get more damaged the lower we got.

What those numbers told me were things didn’t look good.

“Listen to me,” I demanded as she clung to my arm. “I’m going to wrap my body over yours like I did a few minutes ago. I want your face tucked in close to your stomach, and I don’t want you to move until the plane has landed.” My hand was on her neck, and I started guiding her into position. “I don’t know what it’s going to look like when we’re on the ground. We might need to move fast. Things could be coming in through the windows, or our seats could become loose.”

Her eyes widened, more terror building on her face.

“Billie, don’t lose it on me now.” I emphasized my words. “I’m only telling you this, so you’re aware of the possibilities, and nothing takes you by surprise.”

“This is really happening.”

She was in shock.

Everyone on this plane was.

They didn’t deal with emergencies. They didn’t work in the security industry.

They didn’t know terror like I did.

I brought my face closer and moved my hand to the back of her head. “This is happening, and I need you to trust me and follow my instructions.”

“Jared …”

We didn’t have time to discuss this, and there was no negotiation. My way was the only way we were going to do it.

But we were already dropping. I could feel it. And it wasn’t going to take us long to get to the ground.

“Do it now, Billie.”

Using my palm, I led her the rest of the way, tucking her into a ball before covering her with my body. The position allowed me to see if anything came in through the windows or over the seats in front of us.

Someone had to keep watch and make sure she had the best chance of surviving this.

That person was me.

“Jared,” she said, and I squeezed her in response. “Will you talk to me? I don’t care what you say. I just need to hear your voice.”

It was her last request, and there was no way I could deny her that.

TWENTY

BILLIE

POSITIONED underneath Jared’s broad frame and muscular torso, I wasn’t able to see what was happening. I had to rely on my senses, and they were on overdrive.

There were so many things going on at once. The feeling of the plane moving, the cabin pressure changing as we descended at such a rapid pace. We were pushed forward in our seats and slammed back.

Through it all, Jared held on to me.

He never let go.

And he never stopped talking.

I didn’t know what he said. It was like the TV playing during the few minutes before I fell asleep at night; it was just noise, not words, not music. And I used those noises to disconnect my mind.

Now was no different.

As I took in Jared’s voice, I ignored everything else, like the bolts and nails that were screaming after every bounce. Like the other passengers praying to God to save them, shouting their last wishes, telling their family on the ground how much they loved them.

And what came out of me was silence.

I didn’t know how to say good-bye, how to wish for my life.

How to process any of this.

So, I didn’t.

I didn’t think.

I didn’t feel.

I didn’t even hope.

I just waited.

“Billie …”

I thought it was in my head. I thought the waiting had a voice, and this was it.

“Billie …” Jared warned, and his urgency told me I hadn’t imagined it.

“Yes?”

His fingers turned firmer, and he tucked his face underneath my arm, so I could feel the air that came from his mouth. “Hold on tight.”

TWENTY-ONE

HONEY

FALL 1984

“I LOVE YOU,” Andrew said softly.