She couldn’t read his expression, but when Jason poured himself a glass and just as quickly downed it, she knew listening to her babble out a pathetic apology wasn’t any easier for him that it was for her to get it out.
“I loved you so much back then, Jason. And I made all the wrong decisions. There was so much pressure, from everyone, and I crumbled beneath it.” Her eyes remained dry even while her heart rebroke at the strain of having to go back to a time she wished she could forget. “I know there’s no rewind button.
Believe me, I’ve wished for one a thousand times. And I don’t want to sit here, in your restaurant, making excuses. I want to take the blame. If you want to yell at me, call me names, kick me out—whatever you need to do—please, do it now, Jason. I want you to.”
Jason merely shook his head. “You always worried too much,” he said, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a faint smile. She tried to read his feelings, but nothing in his eyes, in his face, gave them away.
Still, he hadn’t kicked her out yet and Emma’s nerves settled just enough that she was able to let out the breath she’d been holding.
“I know,” she said softly, holding his gaze, letting a small grin play on her lips. If only it could be like old times between them. Would he ever let that happen? And if he did, would she blow it again?
Without thinking, she gave voice to her crazy thoughts. “Do you think we could ever be friends again, Jason?”
He hesitated for a long moment, so long that she wished she could become invisible and creep out of his restaurant to find somewhere private to hide her hurt. Her humiliation.
But then he reached across the bar and covered her hand with his. And as his warmth seeped through her cold bones, as she drank in his touch, he said, “I think we can definitely be friends again. And so much more.”
Shock coursed through Emma only to be superceded by desire. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? That he wanted to continue where they’d left off last night?
Something about his quick acquiescence made her uneasy. Not to mention the new predatory look in his eyes. Last night she’d been vividly aware of how much he’d changed. Matured. But this morning she saw something else.
The man standing before her was no longer the sweet Jason Roberts she’d known back in college. A part of her was frightened by his intensity.
But the rest of her was incredibly attracted to it. She’d never felt quite this jumpy around him before. The way he was staring at her—like he wanted to rip her clothes off and devour her whole on the bar top—
made her pulse race with anticipation.
A large blond man with multiple tattoos visible on his upper arms and hands stuck his head out from the kitchen. “Hey boss, I’m done with prep. See you in an hour.”
She searched her brain frantically for something to say that wouldn’t sound stupid or desperate, anything to keep Jason here with her for a little longer. “We didn’t really get a chance to talk much last night. We have so much catching up to do. I want to hear all about your restaurant, what it’s like to live in N—”
Her words died in her throat as he moved from behind the bar with a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Help me pull down the blinds.”
Something in his tone sent another flood of moisture between her legs. Uncertainly, she slid off the bar stool and moved on shaky legs through the restaurant until all of the windows were covered.
He locked the front door, threw his apron to the ground, and then motioned to her with one finger. “Get over here.”
She licked her lips. “There? Why?”
“Because I don’t want to talk.”
“You don’t?”
“I want to f**k you. Here. Now.”
Her body responded like he was in charge of her on-off switch. Slowly, she walked toward him, her heart beating faster and faster with every step.
Mere inches from him, she stopped, more afraid that she’d fail this test, that she wouldn’t live up to being the wild woman he obviously wanted her to be, than she’d ever been of anything in her whole life.
No, she told herself, you can do this. The man you love is giving you another chance and you’re going to take it.
As if he could read her mind, had faith in her determination to succeed, he reached for her. His mouth found hers then and she was lost to everything but the sensual pull that drew her deeper and deeper into him.
Threading her hands through his thick, dark hair, she kissed him like she always did in her dreams.
Without holding anything back. Passion flooded between them and she felt Jason’s control waver. She knew he was holding something back, but she didn’t care. Maybe one day she’d break all the way through the thick emotional wall her own actions had built in him, but for now, she would take what she could get.
Because part of Jason was so much better than none of him at all.
He ran his hands over her hips and cupped her ass, roughly pulling her tightly into him. She felt his need to dominate her like a presence in the room and strangely, she found she didn’t want to fight it.
Rather, she wanted to give in to it, sink into the power he held over her. She felt an insane urge to show Jason just how far she was willing to go, exactly how much she wanted him, and that all of her stupid
“look but don’t touch” rules from college were gone now.
Without words, she would show him that she would do anything, everything for him. Anything he
wanted.
Dropping to her knees, she reached for the button on his jeans. “I want to taste you,” she said, proud of how bold she was being, of how steady her voice was.
Hadn’t she done this a thousand times in her fantasies? Taken Jason’s thick c**k into her mouth, throated him until he came in thick spurts?
His erection twitched in his pants and it felt good knowing that he wanted her. That she excited him. She wanted to make him feel as good as he’d made her feel the night before.
“I never knew you were such a risk taker.”
His words held a slight rasp, and a huge challenge. She smiled as she ran one French-manicured nail down his zipper, taut from the pressure of his erection behind it.
No, she wasn’t a risk taker. They both knew that. But now, just moments from pleasuring the man she loved, she wondered: What if she let herself be the Playboy bunny for once? What would it hurt?
Her life was already as bad as it could get, wasn’t it? Long days at work, even longer nights on the couch with the remote at home.