“And then what?” I open my legs and finger myself, making sure to keep my head on his thigh. His eyes never leave mine and mine never leave his.
“And then I’d kiss you and tell you it was just a dream. And you’d close your eyes and go back to sleep.”
“You didn’t want to f**k me?”
“Shit,” he laughs. “Yes, Harper. I wanted to f**k you. But not like that.”
“You’re so weird.”
“Why’s that?” He kneads my br**sts, twisting my ni**les gently every few seconds.
“I just don’t get you. You want me, but you feel guilty for wanting me. It’s because of the promise? And my age? You hate that I’m young, don’t you?”
“Jesus f**king Christ, no. Just thinking about how young you are makes me want to f**k you harder.”
“Then what do you want that I’m not giving you?” He waits a few beats and it makes me so nervous I want to scream at him. “Tell me,” I finally beg. “Just tell me what you want. I’m ready to do almost anything.”
Chapter Twenty - James
“Trust me,” I tell her as I pull her up off her knees and have her straddle my lap. “That’s it. I feel like I’ve f**ked that up along the way and I’m not sure how to get it back. You think I’m here to kill you or your brother. And I’ve told you over and over, that’s not my job.” I put my fingers on her lips and she opens her mouth to suck. And holy motherfucking shit, all I can think about is stuffing my c**k down her throat again. “Let me finish before this body wipes my mind of all coherent thoughts.” She giggles a little, like I’m kidding. And it pisses me off that she’s not hearing me. So I grab her face and hold her a little too tight. “Harper,” I say sharply as I fist her hair and make her gasp. “Listen to me. You’re not the job. But there is a job.”
Now she’s listening. “Who?”
“It’s not a who. Just trust me. Either you do or you don’t. Everything I’ve done since we became Six, whether I realized it at the time or not, it was all for you. For our moment. For a future that does not involve being in debt to anyone, especially the Company. So no matter what happens, I need you to understand this. Everything I’m doing is about you. And your safety.”
“You’re going to do something bad, aren’t you?”
I throw up my hands a little at that statement and roll my eyes like a teenager. “I’m an assassin, Harp. You know what I do. I wish I could tell you no, I’m a good guy and I’ve always been a good guy. But I’m not. I’ve never done a good deed in my life. Not really—not for real, because if I was helping someone, then it was to gain a favor or pay a debt. But I want you, us,” I add quickly. “I want us more than anything else in the entire world. The f**king second I recognized you out on the beach watching that ugly sunset, that’s all I can think about. And yeah, having you rubbing up against my c**k as you sit in my lap right now—that’s all part of it. But just part. And the sex is not enough.”
“You want things like… marriage? And babies?” she asks with a puzzled look.
“Don’t you?”
She shakes her head. “No. I don’t want my sons to be made into soldiers or my daughters turned into trophy wives. And I don’t want to marry some old man who only wants me for sex.”
“I just told you, I want more than sex and I’m not that old. Twenty-eight is not that old.”
“James, how many times do I have to explain this? You are not my promise. My father is using me to make you do things.”
“It’s working.” It’s really f**king working. That bastard can ask me to do anything right now and I’d do it if it meant I could keep her.
“Then I want you to stop. I don’t want you to play his games. Just run away with me. We can go anywhere. A big city where no one has a face. We can start again and forget all about the Company.”
“Please, Harper.” I shoot her a sidelong look. “You cannot be that naive. The Admiral’s daughter and the last assassin. If ever there was a pair begging to be hunted down and killed, it’s us.”
“Then let them try. Let them hunt us. Let them kill Harper and James and then maybe we can live again as other people. As new people.”
“You want to fake our own deaths?” I laugh. “It would never work. They’re not stupid, Harp. They have endless resources, they have satellite surveillance, they own entire towns. If we were stupid enough to run away for real, they’d hunt us down like dogs to make sure we never talked.”
“So it’s hopeless?” She’s got a sad pouty face on and I’m suddenly tired of this depressing conversation. I stand up, cupping her ass to keep her body close to me, and then walk across the room to the hallway closest to the kitchen. There’s a bedroom down here, I think. I walk with her head resting on my shoulder and stop at a door. “Open it,” I say.
She leans down a little, making her still-wet pu**y rub against my stomach. The door swings open and presents the master bedroom. I walk her over to the bed and then ease her down gently, straddling her hips as her body settles into the soft down comforter. “Nothing’s hopeless, Harp. But this is an area I forbid you to go. You’re not in charge of finding our future, I am.”
“But what if you need help? I’m not allowed to help?”