I have no more strength period. I’m done fighting.
“I want to be the man you want, Gabriela. I want to be the man who carried you out of that well.”
I turn in his arms, look up at him.
He puts his hands on my face, and he’s so big, so much bigger than me. My protector and my predator in one. He pushes my hair back, smearing tears across my cheeks. He looks down at me and what I see in his eyes, it makes me ache.
“Hope is a stupid thing,” I say.
He’s caught off guard and it takes him a moment. “No, it’s not a stupid thing. It’s a good thing. And sometimes, the only thing. I don’t want you sad anymore, Gabriela. This isn’t your father’s house. This isn’t anything but what you let it be.”
“You don’t know how much I want to believe you.”
“Then believe me.”
He kisses me then and it takes me a minute. It takes me that minute to register his lips on mine. His mouth on mine. His breath, his warm mouth, his strong arms. It’s not erotic or sexual. It’s different. Soft. A consummation of trust, so much more important than the consummation of our marriage.
It takes me a full minute to accept that kiss because my mind wanders to where it had gone the other night. To that question. And I know the answer.
He warned me not to fall in love with him but it’s too late. I think it was too late a long time ago.
“Stefan,” I start, drawing back. I have to stop this. Because after everything this is the thing that will break me.
He closes his mouth over mine again and doesn’t release me from his kiss as he walks me backward to my bed. When the backs of my knees hit it, I drop down to a seat and he crouches, kissing me with a hunger that matches my own. A need that matches my own.
He’s not careful undressing me. Something tears as he strips my pants and panties off and he’s between my legs, one hand on the top of my head, the other undoing his jeans, his eyes fierce and dark and their expression the same as when he looked at me out there on that balcony.
And when he pushes into me, I’m ready for him. I cling to him and hear his grunt, feel him, his big body on top of mine, his thick cock inside me, stretching me, hurting me, making me his as I cleave to him and wrap my legs around him and our kiss, it’s need. Pure need. A possession. Like we can’t get enough. Can’t get close enough.
When I come, it’s different than any other time. With him. By myself. It’s different and whole and I don’t close my eyes or turn away. I watch him and let him watch me and something is different between us. Maybe it’s us who are different. I just know I can’t be without him.
And I know if he betrays me again, it will destroy me.
21
Stefan
Tucked beneath a blanket, Gabriela is asleep in the seat beside mine as we fly through the night sky to the states. She has her head turned toward me and her hands are tucked beneath her cheek.
She looks so young when she sleeps. So innocent and vulnerable.
The flight attendant comes with my drink and I turn to take it, thanking her with a nod. I sit in the dimly lit cabin and sip as I think.
There’s more than one reason we’re going to New York. Yes, I want to get her brother for her. I don’t want anything from Gabe Marchese. Yes, he’s a pawn. And yes, I wanted guardianship out of selfish reasons. But if the end result makes her happy while meeting my goals, then so be it and I am happier for it.
I meant what I said. I want to be the man who carried her out of the well.
It’s just complicated.
Those of us who crawl out of the darkness, we’re never fully able to stand in the light for long.
The bird cage was made by a goldsmith in New York City. The cost wouldn’t be something my uncle could afford to pay himself. But I believe he had a patron.
If I’m right, then it confirms that my uncle is my enemy.
My mind drifts to my meeting with Danny Greco’s mother. To how she looked at Rafa. To how she remembered him.
I glance over at my cousin.
He must feel my eyes on him because he turns his head. There’s a moment of nothing. Then he nods before looking away.
The driver takes us to the hotel when we arrive. Clear Meadows is an hour drive from here and Gabriela’s excitement is palpable. If it were up to her, we’d go straight there, but I want to go with her, and I first need to shower, change and meet with the goldsmith.