There’s a desk along one wall. I go to it and pick up the envelopes stacked on top of it. Mail from the States and one from an Italian bank. They’re sealed, so I put them back down.
I step back and survey the room and decide I’m wasting my time in here. If I’m alone in the house, I need to use my time wisely. I go back out into the hallway and try the last door on this side, which is locked. I pass my own room again and pause at the stairs to listen, then try the room adjacent to mine. I turn the handle and find it unlocked.
The instant I push it open, I know it’s Sebastian’s.
I go inside, and this time, I close the door behind me and lean against it. I just take a minute to breathe. To calm my frantic heartbeat. I’m too chicken to put on the lights, but the sky is clear, the moon is out and the bathroom light was left on, so I take in his room.
The king-size bed is central against the far wall with its headboard of carved wood that reaches practically to the ceiling. Pompous. Like he’s a king.
The bed is made, the duvet a deep charcoal that matches his eyes. There’s a worn leather armchair with a reading lamp over it and a shelf of books behind it, a large antique dresser, and two nightstands, each with a lamp on top.
There are three doors. The first leads to the bathroom with its light still on, the second is a walk-in closet.
Entering, I switch on the light in here and stop to inhale, recognizing the scent of his aftershave, not realizing I’d noted it, memorized it.
I run my hands along the suit jackets, of which he has a dozen or more. Next, slacks are hung that go with each one. Then the dress shirts. He’s a neat freak. Everything is hung up or folded and color coordinated, the shoes polished and neatly in their cubbyholes. It makes me laugh, like I’ve found out a secret. Which is ridiculous. It’s a closet.
On the island in the middle, I pull out the top drawer. He must have a hundred sets of cuff links, and at least eight watches.
I shake my head at the opulence. The abundance. How can some have so much while others starve?
Not that we Willows are starving, but there are people out there who don’t have enough to eat, and this family has more than they will ever use up in their lifetimes.
I close the drawer and am about to step out of the closet when I notice something out of place on the floor. I bend to pick it up. It’s my pocketknife. The one he stole from me. I grin, depress the button, and watch the blade open. At least he cleaned his blood off it.
Closing it, I slide it into the pocket on my borrowed T-shirt. He’ll notice it’s gone, I’m sure. He was having fun using it to carve out our various notches. Jerk.
I leave the light on and head back into the bedroom, going to the last door with a key in its lock. I turn and open it. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to see it leads to my room. Not that it matters which door he uses. He will enter at will and take what he wants at will and leave me hanging on a post for hours and then send his brother to get me at his fucking will.
From his windows, I see he has a better view than me. He can see more of the island. If I lean out, I can see the top of the mausoleum again. It makes me shudder. That part of the island, it just seems different.
I turn back in, go to his dresser, open the drawers, and rummage through them. I’m not looking for anything in particular. I just feel like I have some power right now. For the first time since I’ve been brought here. Like I’m in control.
How quickly it can be stripped from you.
The drawers in his nightstand are next. The one on the side of the bed closest to the door is empty, but when I go to close it, it sticks a little, so I try again, knocking the whole thing into the wall, making the lamp teeter.
I catch it before it falls and breathe a sigh of relief.
I walk around the bed to the other side, which must be the side he sleeps on, and am surprised to find the corner of a piece of paper sticking out of the drawer. I guess given the neatness of the room and his closet, I expected he’d be more careful putting things away.
I open the drawer and take out the sheet and notice the other items in the drawer—condoms and a tube of lubricant. I don’t know why that surprises me. I’m sure he has women here. They’re probably impressed when he brings them back to the island. His island. Probably can’t wait to jump into his bed, in fact.