I try to pull free, but this time, he tugs me to him, making me bounce against his chest.
“Let me go.” I try to push him off.
“No.”
“You don’t listen to anything I say when it doesn’t suit you.”
He cocks his head to the side.
“You didn’t when you beat up my professor. Not when you changed the locks on my house without my permission, and now you’re not listening either.”
“Aren’t you glad that I did change those locks?”
I stare up at him, and before I can answer, he puts the flat of one hand in the middle of my chest and walks me backward until my back hits the wall.
“I’m a modern man, Natalie, but I have my limits, and when it comes to your safety, I decide.”
“And what, I do as I’m told?”
“That’s ideal.” He’s trying to make light of it.
I try to push his hands off but can’t. “Let me go.”
“No. I already told you, I’m not letting you go.”
“You don’t get to decide for me.”
“I won’t leave you unprotected.”
“I wouldn’t be in danger if it wasn’t for you being who you are.”
“Enough!” He slams his fist into the wall.
I let out a small scream, and freeze.
There’s an anger that’s barely controlled when he next speaks, his voice low, a warning. “You went into this with both eyes wide open. You know it and I know it.”
I shudder.
Is he right? I didn’t know it, though, not like this.
But isn’t that bullshit? And does it even matter? I won’t leave anyway. That, I know.
He grips my jaw and tips it up, makes me look at him. “The first time we met, I had a gun aimed at the asshole hurting you. The second time, I had that gun pointed at your head. You’ve known from day one who I was. I’ve told you to stop me, to make me go. Told you I would if you told me to. But you didn’t, did you? The other night when I fucked you , when I told you to tell me to leave, you didn’t. Again. You. Did. Not. Well, it’s too fucking late now, Natalie.”
“I didn’t intend…” I shake my head, try to clear it.
“What? You didn’t intend what?”
But the words that come into my head make no sense.
“What?” he growls, this time slapping both hands flat on the wall on either side of my head, making me wince and cower, caging me in.
He must see my terror because he exhales, rubs his face with his hands. “Fuck.” It takes him a few minutes but when he speaks again, his voice is controlled. “What didn’t you intend?”
Someone clears their throat. Sergio takes a deep breath in, clearly irritated, and turns to Eric who’s standing beneath the arched entry.
“You need to see something,” he says, then adds something on in Italian.
Sergio walks over to him, and they both look at Eric’s phone.
“Fucking bastard,” Sergio mutters. “Give me a minute.” Eric leaves and Sergio comes to me. “I have to go.”
“Where?”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Are you fixing it? Is this you fixing it? Will you come back with another bruise on your knuckles? Maybe blood on your shirt this time?”
His eyes narrow and when he steps closer, I take two steps back. “Don’t fucking test me. Not now.”
I swallow. He’s warning me and for the first time since I’ve known him, I realize I don’t know the lengths this man will go to, the violence he’s used to. The violence he’s caused. I thought I did, but I was wrong. To think you know something but then to really understand it, to feel it, those are two very different things.
He clears his throat. “Natalie—”
I look away, fold my arms across my chest. “Just go.”
“There’s some food—”
“I’m not hungry. Just go. Go fucking fix it.”
“Trust me, Natalie.”
I walk away. I don’t want to hear anymore. I need to get Pepper settled. I find her in the kitchen eating the last of her dinner, oblivious to the shit storm in the other room. I don’t turn around when I hear the two men speaking in hushed tones in the hallway. The front door opens and closes, and I hear a car’s engine start. Pepper licks my face when I sit on the floor beside her. I don’t know if I’m angry or hurt or scared or what. Sergio takes liberties, assumes things, and thing is, I know that’s him. I know this is how it will be with him. Tonight is just a preview of what I’m signing up for.
Irritated with myself, I get up, take Pepper by the collar.
“Come on, let’s find ourselves a bedroom.” Because I’m not sleeping in his.It’s four in the morning when I abruptly wake up, bolting upright in the strange bed, gasping for breath.
The nightmare is gone as soon as my eyes open but it takes me a moment to remember where I am. Why I’m here.