She stared at the ceiling fan from corpse position on her living room floor. The couch must have moved on her when she tried to lie on it. Just as well, the cool floor felt like heaven beneath her warm tingly skin.
“Why did you leave?”
“Jones?” She laughed. It was more fun than crying. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
The door slammed shut.
“Yep. I heard that.” The ceiling fan had her in a trance. “Why did I leave? Hmm … I’m pretty sure I left because I love you.” Another laugh. “Isn’t that just fan-fucking-tabulous? You’re the boy I dreamed about when I used the back of my hand to practice kissing as a young girl.” She smiled at the fan. The fan smiled back. “Bet you didn’t know that girls did that? Well we did—the back of our hand, a pillow, the wall, each other.”
Luke stepped over her, straddling her waist with his feet, arms crossed over his chest while he looked down on her like a god. “You kissed other girls?”
She pressed her lips together and grinned. “I love that you’re still a guy, Jones. Did you hear me say I kissed the wall?”
“How many girls did you kiss?”
“I’m not sure. How many did you kiss?”
“I’ve only kissed one that matters.”
She was several bottles of Heineken short of that comment not affecting her heart. “They say if you truly love someone to set them free. I’m setting you free, Jones. This is a huge step for me. If I didn’t love you, I’d keep you around, use you, abuse you, then cast you aside.”
“Well, I’m here and I can’t leave.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re drinking beer which in your words is an SOS. You need me. Where’s my bag?”
Jessica squinted. “What?”
“The bag I left here. Where is it?”
“Entry closet.”
He bent down and grabbed her, hoisting her over his shoulder.
“What are you doing?” She laughed.
He opened the entry closet and grabbed the bag.
“Jones, answer me!”
“Quiet!” He smacked her ass, continuing to her bedroom.
“Dammit, Jones! You did not just spank me.”
“I did and if you don’t shut up I’m going to do it again.” He tossed her on her bed. “No more questions. Take off your clothes.”
She shook her head. “I told you, I can’t do this. And this is not the answer to an SOS.”
He unzipped the bag and riffled through its contents. “Then I’ll cut them off you.”
“What? I’m not talking about—”
“Lie back.” He tossed handcuffs and rope onto the bed. “Choose one.”
She stared at them and then lifted her gaze to him. “Why do you think I’ll submit to you?”
He grabbed her ankles and jerked her body so it was centered on the bed. “Because you trust me.”
She gripped the sheet beneath her. “But I don’t trust myself.”
“That’s the point. You don’t have to.”
“Rope?” He grabbed one ankle.
She tensed. They had a brief stare down.
“This is happening … We are happening,” he said it like a warning and a promise.
She relaxed her leg, submitting to the this part. The we part was still very much in question. He tied her legs to the bedpost, leaving enough slack to allow her to bend her knees a little. After she was secured in four points to the bed, Jessica tugged at her restraints. She wasn’t going anywhere.
“The kiss. Were you talking about me. Is my kiss the only one that matters?”
He worked the buttons to his shirt while bending over and pressing a soft kiss to her lips. “Yes,” he whispered.
“What does that say about your ex-fiancée we’ve never talked about?”
Luke continued unbuttoning his shirt, his brows pulled close in thought. “If it mattered enough she wouldn’t be my ex-fiancée, she’d be my wife.”
“But you loved her?”
“Of course.” He draped his shirt over the chair next to her night table.
“But you love me more?”
His gaze brought a flood of chills to the surface of her skin, like a stadium crowd doing the wave. “Unequivocally.”
Her next breath caught in her chest. “You can’t mean that.”
There was such a sadness in his eyes. “I loved her which is why the word suddenly feels monumentally inadequate for you. I gave her my love, but you … you took it. You took everything. I never had a choice. You tore into my life … into my heart, wrecking all sense of the man I was before you. Being with you is the best part of my day … every day. You think you’re broken, but you’re not. And if you were … it wouldn’t matter. I love every. Single. Piece of you.”
“Luke—” she pleaded.
“Shh … let me love you. Let me show you that in this crazy world we make sense.” He grabbed the scissors from his bag.
Jessica pulled on the restraints. “No! I’ll take off my clothes.”
He shook his head. “I think it’s better this way.”
“I-I don’t think putting a blade anywhere near my skin is a good idea. And this is an expensive dress.”