The Life You Stole (Life Duet 2)
“It’s just that he’s done so much for your family.”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“And you feel indebted.”
“Yes.”
“If he didn’t ask for anything in return, then he can’t expect anything. He can’t hold this over her head. He wouldn’t …” Lila’s words faded before she finished her thought.
He wouldn’t what? Hold it against Katie? No. He would hold it against me or Lila. The need to say more clawed at my conscience. I wanted to say so much to her.
Are you really happy?
It’s okay to leave him.
I will be fine.
I choose you.
Please forgive me for pushing you into his life.
“He had one request.” I let her unfinished thought die because I didn’t like the reality of what she started to say any more than she did.
“What was that?”
“He asked her to use Porter for the first name if it’s a boy or the middle name if it’s a girl.”
“Jesus … figures. Please tell me she’s not seriously thinking of doing it.”
“I … I don’t know. It’s your last name too. You give the Porter name dignity.”
“Dignity …”
“Listen, I don’t want to keep you. But we miss you. Let’s make sure we get together soon. Just the two of us. I miss us.”
“Me too.” So much sadness bled through her words.
“Lila?”
“Yeah?”
Nibbling the inside of my cheek, I weighed my words, choosing them carefully, finding the right tone to deliver them with a welcoming sincerity. “If something … anything was wrong, would you tell me?”
Silence.
Her delayed response answered my question.
“Li … tell me. There isn’t anything you can’t tell me.”
“I love you, Evie.”
Closing my eyes, I let her words wash along my entire being. She meant them. But she also used them to hide what she wouldn’t tell me—maybe couldn’t tell me.
“If he’s not your forever, that’s okay. Do you hear me? It’s. Okay.”
Tell her.
The truth swirled in my head like an unpredictable storm. Tell her that Graham loved me?
Love … that wasn’t the word. Infatuated? Obsessed? God … that made me sound so conceited.
“I know. I said until death do us part.”
“They’re just words, Lila.”
“And this is all just an experience. Right? You told me that years ago when we were talking about parallel universes.”
“Yes. But you have a say.”
“Well, I say I have to go. Love you. Talk soon?”
“Sure. Bye.” I pressed End.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Lila
I waited for Ronin in my bedroom.
Earlier that morning, I showered and shaved my legs and arm pits to match the rest of my bare-naked body. I wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t a date. We weren’t having an affair—at least not one of a sexual nature. After covering my head with a scarf and dressing in a pair of soft leggings and a fitted tee, I called Ronin.
“Hi,” he answered on the first ring.
“Are you close?”
“Ten minutes.”
“The code to get in is 483562. Can you remember that?”
“483562. Yeah.”
“I’ll be upstairs.”
It took a few seconds for him to respond. “Okay.”
“Ronin?”
“Yeah?”
“This isn’t wrong … like cheating. Right?”
“I … I don’t know.”
Tears stung my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Another few seconds passed in silence. “I’ll be there soon.” He ended the call.
I pushed a button that closed my room-darkening blinds. Then I sat on the bed, taking a deep breath. My heart, body, and conscience battled for a sense of reason. Maybe I needed an escape, a place where I didn’t crave the attention and affection of my best friend’s husband. A place where I felt a sense of hope that bloomed inside of me instead of the growing dread that everything around me was about to blow up in my face.
Before I exploded with anticipation, the bedroom door opened slowly.
“Lila?”
“On the bed. I … I don’t want the lights on. If … that’s okay.”
I felt his approach even though I could barely make out his footsteps on the carpet. The hair along my skin stood on end.
Did his?
My heart raced.
Did his?
The bed dipped, and I could see a faint outline of his body as he sat with his back to me.
“You’re nervous,” he murmured.
He felt me.
“Yes.” I hugged my arms to my chest, refusing to touch him first. This was all on me—his pain, the guilt, a shared life.
My life.
Ronin shared my life in a way I never imagined possible. Yet, he put my feelings into words. I couldn’t hide the darkest parts of myself from him.
“You feel hopeless.”
I swallowed my nerves. “Sometimes.”
“But not now.”
“No,” I whispered.
“Because you want this.”
When I didn’t answer, he turned toward me. I hoped the darkness hid my tears. “I don’t know what I want.”
Ronin laid his tall, warm body beside me. I jumped when his fingertips ghosted along my right cheekbone. His touch didn’t hurt, at least … not on my face.
My reaction didn’t deter him from keeping his fingers connected to my skin, gently wiping away the tears. Ronin didn’t speak about those tears. And he didn’t ask permission to remove my scarf.