The Life You Stole (Life Duet 2)

I swallowed a lifetime of heartache when his lips pressed to my head where I used to have hair. No man had ever made me feel so safe … so cherished … so needed.

The feathering of his touch, the way it regarded me as something special, something that could break, it did things to me it should not have done. It was my job to make him feel better, not the other way around.

Warmth radiated along my skin, settling into places it didn’t belong, not with Evie’s husband in my bed.

Ronin

No words existed to fully describe how I felt touching Lila.

Calm?

Whole?

And desired.

I felt her desire for me. Not in the way I felt Evelyn’s desire for me, and not in a way I’d ever felt my own desire. It flowed through me just like her pain, her depression, all the guilt, and every aching drop of fear. I needed her touch, but that wasn’t a singular gift. I could have all or nothing.

“Turn the other way,” I whispered.

Lila rolled to the other side so I could hug her back to my chest. Her breath caught in her chest, paralyzing her whole body as I froze in place too. I had an erection. And I couldn’t explain it.

I loved Evie.

I desired Evie.

I needed Lila to take away the pain, the depression, the thoughts of hopelessness.

My reaction to her surprised me as much as it surprised her.

It was her. But how could I say that? How could I accuse her of making me hard? Lila had cancer and an injured face. Lila risked her own marriage to refill the bottomless void I felt from saving her life. A lifelong friendship with Evie hung in the balance, vulnerable to complete destruction if anyone ever found out about us.

As we held our breaths, I felt the desire—her desire—growing. My breathing turned ragged like her breaths. My flesh heated beneath my clothes, like her flesh. I felt it in my chest and along my thighs. I felt engorged. Her need to be filled collided with my need to fill someone. There was no way I was turned on by her. I didn’t think of her that way. And yet … there we were. And I fucking couldn’t pull myself away because Lila was my new drug. My new Oxy.

She took away my pain. I felt weightless with her in my arms. Lila did something to me that took me to a place I never even approached with the Oxy. I tried to stop myself from moving my hips forward—desperately feeling the need to rub my goddamn erection against something … literally anything.

I couldn’t explain it. It wasn’t Lila I wanted, yet it was so much Lila. Her desire flowed through me triggering my desire, and I felt both. I felt how she felt. I knew where I wanted to be touched and where she wanted to be touched. The two felt inseparable, too much, too strong to pull apart. I needed her to … god … I didn’t know what. Not be turned on by me?

“Ronin …” she whispered, her chest expanding and collapsing so hard I could feel it.

“Don’t talk. Don’t move. Don’t feel that, Lila,” I begged her to not want the things I knew she desired, to not feel an attraction to me.

I should have just died all those years ago. If I would have run out of her house right then, it would not have mattered. The damage was done. The irreparable damage.

Her body shook with silent sobs.

Guilt.

Pain.

Heartbreak.

I felt all of it. And I hated it.

I turned her toward me and held her as close as possible. My fucking erection didn’t even matter at that point. She knew it was there. I knew it was there.

“I’m sorry …” she cried.

“Shh …” I kissed her forehead. And when I kissed her forehead, I felt as though someone I loved was kissing my forehead. I felt Evie’s love.

It felt incredible.

Lila fisted my shirt and nuzzled into my neck, radiating comfort like the way I buried my face into Evie’s neck, her soft skin, her flowery scent.

It felt incredible.

I kissed along Lila’s face, being gentle with her cheek. When my lips reached her lips, I stopped. Again, we remained still, our lips a breath away.

“What do you feel?” Lila whispered with her voice weak from crying.

“I feel Evie.” I also felt Lila’s desire to kiss me, a physical ecstasy and an emotional torture. I knew if I kissed her mouth, it wouldn’t stop there. Like the Oxy, feeling her desire and mine would be too much for any human to resist. We were breathing, yet it felt like a slow death.

“I feel her too,” Lila rested her good cheek on my shoulder.

Over the next few minutes, my erection disappeared, along with all the pain and the guilt. I knew it might return later, but I felt too complete with Lila in my arms and Evie in my thoughts to think about anything beyond that moment.