They had fun, but she knew they would have had more fun if he’d been with them. Especially the boys, who’d latched onto him with a fervor that had taken her by surprise.
Conall MacLachlan was temporary, she brooded. She hated the fact that she had to keep reminding herself of that. Maybe she’d made a mistake encouraging him to spend time with Walker and Brendan. Yes, he’d been good for them—but what would happen when he and his partner packed up their equipment and went away, never to be seen again? The brothers’ mother had died, and now they’d let themselves care about someone else who wasn’t in it for the long haul. Did they understand that?
Lia didn’t even know why she was upset. No, mad. The boys were attached to her, too. Lots of the kids she took in got attached to her. She offered herself up to them, even though she knew she would be hurt later, when they left to go home. But this felt different, as though Conall shouldn’t be promising something he had never intended to give.
He said he’d spend time with them. That’s all he ever promised.
With words. That’s all he’d promised with words. But with smiles and affectionate touches and his amazing patience, he’d given them so much more than time. Didn’t he know what he was doing? she raged. He was being the father they’d never had. The father no other man would ever match.
Lia was astonished at the pain clutching her heart into a fist. Pain that wasn’t even hers.
Conscious of shock, she sat poolside and watched the two boys halfheartedly splashing each other.
Was she angry at Conall because she, too, wanted to believe he’d never go away? Was she that foolish?
She squeezed her eyes shut. Dear God, yes. Yes, I am.
Closing her eyes had been a mistake, because it cast her into an instant flashback. Dark hallway, realizing it was his body with which she’d collided. Those big, callused hands moving with such delicious care over her. It had been ages since anyone had really touched her, and no one ever had quite like that. Savoring instead of demanding. He wasn’t here now, but she could still smell him, soap and something muskier. Man. Aroused man. She’d known almost instantly that he was without ever feeling his erection.
But she’d wanted to. Oh, she’d wanted to.
Lia told herself surprise explained why she hadn’t stepped back immediately, excused herself and gone on to the bathroom. Why she’d stood there letting him grope her.
Surprise didn’t explain why she’d been unable to resist temptation when he’d pressed her hands to his hard, muscled chest. But how could she resist, after seeing him several times shirtless when he roughhoused with the boys, after watching him walk with that long, smooth, purely masculine stride? She hadn’t been able to stop herself from watching him, sometimes surreptitiously, drinking in every detail of his lean, strong body, the flash of gray eyes, the occasional lightning surprise of a laugh.
Lust. Only lust, she told herself desperately, and knew she was lying. Maybe if she’d never seen him with the boys, she wouldn’t have fallen in love, but she had.
And he would disappear from her life as completely as he would from Walker’s and Brendan’s, with as little warning.
It was all she could do to smile when one of the boys called out to her.
They arrived home to find Conall on the porch, talking on his cell phone. When she reached him, he said, “Let me call you back,” and slid the telephone closed. His gaze flicked over all of them. “You went swimming?”
“Yeah! Lia said we shouldn’t wake you up. And you probably wouldn’t go anyway,” Walker said. “But I wished you had.”
“She’s probably right, I couldn’t have gone. I shouldn’t be away from the house for long.”
“In case something happens.” Brendan nodded solemnly.
“Right.” He ruffled the boys’ hair and smiled at Sorrel. “Have fun?”
“It was okay.” She scuttled past, head down, and vanished into the house.
Conall looked after her with surprise Lia shared. Had Sorrel felt shy because she hadn’t put a top on over her bathing suit? She sometimes seemed so normal—interested in boys, insecure about her appeal, giggly. But Lia couldn’t forget that she was also a child who had been sexually abused by a man she should have been able to trust. She had a long road ahead of her before she could feel secure in a romantic relationship. If she ever would be able to. Conall was blatantly male. The real surprise was that Sorrel could ever relax with him.