She felt a sudden surge of rage that he would use that voice.
“Oh, gosh,” she exclaimed, “something is boiling over on the stove. But I’m glad you called. The boys loved hearing from you.”
But I didn’t. Which was self-deceit, of course.
She dodged his second call entirely, making an excuse to the boys about why she couldn’t come to the phone.
A week later, he called again and didn’t ask to speak to her.
Niall and Rowan had her and the boys over for a couple of casual gatherings, which helped. Jane called twice. Even Duncan came by one day, midmorning, driving his black SUV and dressed in a well-cut charcoal-gray suit.
“I was in the neighborhood,” he said with a shrug so casual it immediately made her suspicious.
“Were you.”
He studied her face for a moment, then flashed a grin so like Conall’s it made her heart squeeze. “Conall says you’re not talking to him. He wanted to be sure you were all right.”
“Exactly why is it he thinks I wouldn’t be?” Then her breath quickened. “This doesn’t have anything to do with the people next door, does it?”
Duncan smiled at her and said gently, “You know it doesn’t, Lia.”
Struck mute, she stared at him.
“You blindsided my brother. He’s having to work through it.”
She’d blind-sided Conall? “Sure I did.”
Duncan only smiled again, chatted about some community happenings, and departed. Lia was left wondering what he’d report to Conall. Was she all right?
Not really, but it would get better. It had to.
She was occupied filling out reams of questionnaires about why she wanted to adopt and why she thought she could provide the boys a superior home.
She’d also been browsing for job openings, but didn’t see anything that felt right until Rowan called to let her know the middle school psychologist had resigned unexpectedly.
“I thought of you,” she said. “I don’t know if it’s anything like you have in mind, but just in case…”
“It actually sounds interesting. I like kids that age.” Although she hadn’t worked in a school before, her graduate degree and experience working with kids might qualify her.
“I know you do.” Rowan laughed. “Just think. Brendan is only a year away from middle school.”
The realization took Lia aback. He seemed so young. But he was turning eleven in August and starting sixth grade this fall. Oh, heavens; almost a teenager.
She applied right away, liking the idea that her working schedule would be so similar to the boys’. Her days would be a little longer, but they could go to after-school care or simply walk over to the middle school and do their homework there while they waited for her.
Assuming, that is, they were still with her. Their caseworker said everything she’d submitted looked good, but she heard the reservation in his voice and, when she asked, he admitted there was concern that she was a single woman.
She was mad enough to respond. “Have you found that perfect couple who are dying to adopt two boys the ages of Walker and Brendan?”
“You know we haven’t.” He paused. “I wanted you to know it might be a problem, that’s all.”
She managed to thank him, even though he’d scared her.
Oh, dear God. What if the boys are taken away from me, too? She felt hollow, thinking about it.
A month to the day after Conall left, she weighed herself and discovered she’d lost nine pounds. Given that she hadn’t been trying and tended to be skinny, that wasn’t a good thing. She had to stay healthy.
She watched the boys picking at their dinners that evening and felt a flare of alarm. Were they looking thinner, too? It might be only that they were growing, she tried to reassure herself; boys did that, stretching out without filling in. She remembered Conall talking about how little and skinny he’d been until—what had he said? Sixteen? Seventeen? He certainly wasn’t anymore.
She would take both boys in for checkups this summer. In the meantime, she’d let them snack more.
They were so subdued this evening, they didn’t argue when she vetoed another TV show and suggested an early bedtime.
“You can read in bed,” she told them firmly. When she checked on them half an hour later, they were both asleep. She kissed them both, lightly so as not to awaken them, closed Brendan’s book and set it on the nightstand, and turned out his lamp. When she slipped out of their room, Lia left the door slightly ajar.