“Yeah. I hadn’t thought about it, but I think you’re right. She softened Dad.” He half smiled. “And she made me want to live up to her standards.”
“What about your sister?”
“Dani spent a lot of time furious at both of us. Hey, she’s driving down on Saturday to see me. I’d like you to meet her.”
Warmed, Erin said, “Just let me know when.” She stood. “Now we’d better both get to work.”
“Yeah.” For a moment, he didn’t move.
Once again, Erin had the sense of standing on the edge. If he reached for her…
Instead, he rolled his shoulders as if to loosen stiffness and turned to go. “See you at lunch?”
She waved. He broke into a trot, as he usually did. Erin was a lot slower when she headed for the garage.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
COLE GROANED AND slapped his second pillow over his face, no closer to falling asleep than he’d been two hours ago. Last night, he’d lost sleep worrying. Tonight…
He growled an obscenity and rolled onto his side, bunching both pillows beneath his head. He kept seeing Erin’s bewilderment as she whispered, I was terrified. Like any normal person. But bewilderment wasn’t all he saw. In that moment when his arm had been around her, when they did nothing but look at each other, he’d been completely absorbed. He always thought she was beautiful, but with only inches separating them, he’d been painfully aware of her lips, her fine-textured skin, lashes darker than the red-gold flame of her hair. He had ached to touch her, to feel that skin beneath his fingertips, to trace her eyebrows and the curve of her cheeks. To rub his thumb over her lips, even if he couldn’t allow himself to kiss her.
He lay rigid, staring toward his window, thinking about her in bed not that far away. What if he had surrendered to temptation? She’d wanted him to, he knew she had. Would giving in have been so wrong? Did she know why he hadn’t?
Usually he ignored the inner voice determined to taunt him, but this time he couldn’t. His answer was too important.
Because it would be a shitty thing to do, that’s why. He wanted to be better than that. Honor was a word he’d added to his vocabulary over the ten years he’d spent thinking about mistakes, and about who he wanted to be.
He owed Erin too much to take advantage of her current fragility. If that sounded stupid, so be it. If he was positive all she wanted was sexual release, that would be different. Damn, he wished he did think that, because there was nothing in this whole world he wanted more than her. Too bad she was more messed up than he was, which was saying something.
And sure, he was probably afraid of feeling too much for her. He was a guy; he could enjoy sex without emotional entanglement, but not when it came to Erin. Unfortunately, he knew that anything they started would inevitably hit a brick wall. Someday, if she didn’t succeed in killing herself first, she’d wake up and wonder what she’d seen in an uneducated ex-con not good for much but lifting heavy loads. It humiliated him to think of how she’d have to introduce him to friends or her former colleagues.
She felt…diminished right now. That was the only reason she looked at him the way she did. The only reason she leaned on him.
If he let himself fall all the way for her, he’d be the one who ended up feeling worthless—and, if he was going to make it, he couldn’t afford anything that brought him down.
He got up to take a leak, considered reading or even turning on the TV, but decided to have another try at knocking himself out. Tomorrow would suck if he didn’t get five or six hours of shut-eye.
Back in bed, he disciplined his thoughts. He’d have to find out if Zatloka wanted him to paint the railing. Might tie it into the house better. He needed some groceries. He could borrow the car, or ask Erin if she wanted to go, too. Seeing Dani in a few days—
A scream from the house sent his heartbeat into overdrive. He shot to a sitting position just as he heard a second scream. God, what if somebody had broken into the house?
Cole bolted out of bed, taking only enough time to pull on the pants he’d left hanging over a chair. Thank God Erin had given him keys a couple of weeks ago, so he could replace electrical outlets whether she was around or not. Listening, hearing nothing, he located his key chain, tore down the steps and ran, barefoot, up the driveway.