The idea didn’t sit well with me but I didn’t linger on my strange reaction. I walked toward her, making sure to make my steps audible so she knew she wasn’t alone anymore. She tensed, her eyes fluttering open but when she spotted me, she relaxed again and turned away. I wasn’t sure what to make from her reaction to my presence. I stopped a couple of steps from her. My gaze traveled over her long, lean legs, then I quickly moved on to her face. “Liliana, are you okay? You’ve been gone for a long time.”
“Why do you insist on calling me Liliana when everyone always calls me Lily?” She opened her eyes again and smiled bitterly. She had fucking amazing blue eyes. “Did my sister tell you to watch me?” she asked accusingly.
As if I needed someone to tell me. It had been almost impossible to keep my eyes off Liliana tonight. “No, she didn’t,” I said simply.
Her blue eyes held confusion, then she turned her face to the side, leaving me to stare at her profile. Her chin wobbled but she swallowed and her expression evened out. “Don’t you need to watch Aria?”
“Luca is there,” I said. I moved a bit closer, too close. Lily’s perfume wafted into my nose, made me want to bury my face in her hair. God, I was losing my freaking mind. “I can tell that something is wrong. Why don’t you tell me?”
Lily narrowed her eyes. “Why? I’m not your responsibility. And last time we saw each other you didn’t seem to like me very much.”
Was she still mad at me for stopping her from kissing me at her birthday more than two years ago? “Maybe I can help you,” I said instead.
She sighed, her shoulders slumping a bit more. With that expression of weariness, she looked older somehow, like a grown woman, and I had to remind myself of my promise and oath again. Her eyes brimmed with tears when she peered up at me but they didn’t fall.
“Hey,” I said softly. I wanted to touch her, brush her hair away from her. Fuck. I wanted much more than that, but I stayed where I was. I couldn’t go around touching a daughter of the Outfit’s Consigliere. I shouldn’t even have been alone with her.
“You can’t tell anyone,” she said.
I hesitated. Luca was my Capo. There were certain things I couldn’t keep from him. “You know I can’t promise you that without knowing what you’re going to tell me.” And then I wondered if maybe she was pregnant, if maybe someone had broken her heart, and the idea made me furious. I wasn’t supposed to want her, I shouldn’t want her, and yet…
“I know, but it’s not about the Outfit or the Famiglia. It’s…” She lowered her gaze and swallowed. “God, I’m not supposed to tell anyone. And I hate it. I hate that we’re keeping up the charade when things are falling apart.”
I waited patiently, giving her the time she obviously needed.
Her shoulders began to shake but she still didn’t cry. I wasn’t sure how she did it. “My mother has cancer.”
That wasn’t what I’d expected. Although, now that I thought about it, her mother had looked pale despite the thick layer of make-up on her face.
I touched Lily’s bare shoulder and tried to ignore how good it felt, how smooth her skin was. “I’m sorry. Why don’t you talk to Aria about it? I thought you and her talk about everything.”
“Gianna and Aria talk about everything. I’m the little sister, the fifth wheel.” She sounded bitter. “Sorry.” She released a long breath, obviously trying to get a grip on her emotions. “Father forbid me from telling anyone, even Aria, and here I am telling you.”
“I won’t tell anyone,” I promised before I could really think it through. What was I doing promising that kind of thing to Lily? Luca and the Famiglia were my priority. I had to consider the consequences if the wife of the Consigliere was sick. Would that weaken him and the Outfit? Luca might think so. And not just that, I was supposed to protect Aria. Wasn’t it my job to tell her that her mother was sick? That was the problem if you started to think with your dick. Then things always got messed up.
Lily tilted her head to the side with a curious expression. “You won’t?”
I leaned against the wall beside her, wondering how I was going to get me out of that corner. “But don’t you think you should tell your sister? It’s her mother. She deserves to know the truth.”
“I know, don’t you think I know that?” she whispered desperately. “I want to tell her. I feel so guilty for keeping it a secret. Why do you think I’m hiding in the hallway?”
“Then tell her.”
“Father would be furious if he found out. He’s been on edge for a long time. Sometimes I think it takes only the smallest incident and he’ll put a bullet through my head.”
She sounded fucking scared of her own father. And the bastard was scary. I took her hand. “Has he done anything to you? I’m sure Luca could figure out a way to keep you safe.” What the fuck was I talking? Scuderi would convince Dante to start a war if Luca took his youngest daughter away from him. You never got involved in other people’s family problems. That was one of the most important rules in our world.
“Father wouldn’t allow it,” she said matter-of-factly. She really wasn’t the kid I’d first met. This world took away your innocence far too soon. “And he didn’t do anything, but he’d be furious if I went against his direct orders.”
“You know your sister, she’d never tell anyone.”
“Then she’d have to bear the secret and she wouldn’t even be able to talk to Mother about it. Why is everything such a mess? Why can’t I have a normal family?”
“We can’t choose our family.”
“And in my case, not even my future husband,” she said. Then she shook her head. “I don’t know why I said it. This isn’t what I should be worried about now.” She looked down at my hand, which was still holding hers. I released her. If Scuderi or one of his men walked in on us, Scuderi would have a new reason to lose his shit.