Leona smiled. “But I got something out of it. I got you.”
I shook my head at her. Slowly I slid my fingers out of her. “You don’t know what’s good for you.”
She released a small breath, then lifted one shoulder. “Good’s overrated.”
I kissed her again, tasting myself on her.
“You almost died today for me,” she whispered. “Nobody has ever done something like that for me. People can keep telling me to stay away from you if they want, but it won’t make me love you any less.”
My body grew taut at her admission. Love was a dangerous thing, something that had brought the hardest fighters down to their knees. Weakness was something I couldn’t afford, not if I wanted to stay on Remo’s good side. But love wasn’t a choice. It was like fucking torture. Something that happened to you and you were unable to stop it. It was the only form of torture I was unable to resist.
I brushed a sweaty curl out of her face, wondering how she could have put a tear in the impenetrable façade I’d built since my father had abandoned me. She, with her infuriating naivety, her shy smile. In my life I’d watched the people I cared about leave me one after the other. I’d sworn to myself to never allow anyone else into my heart. And now Leona had changed everything.
“Your expression is a bit on the unsettling side. What’s going on?”
I shook my head in exasperation. I hadn’t been afraid of anyone in a while and here I was being a fucking pussy about this. “Fuck,” I breathed. “I love you.”
She took a small step back, astonishment reflecting on her beautiful face. “I didn’t think you’d say it.”
“You didn’t think I loved you?”
She laughed, then wedged herself between my legs again, bringing us closer and sending a stab of pain through my body from the movement, but I couldn’t have cared less. If I didn’t think it might shove one of my broken ribs into my lungs, I’d have fucked her right then. No, made love to her, God help me.
“After you agreed to a death match, I was fairly sure you did,” she said with a small smile. “But I didn’t think you’d admit to it.”
Sometimes I forgot how well she’d come to know me. That she still wanted to be with me filled my heart with a strange sense of comfort but at the same time with a bone-deep fear I hadn’t felt in a long time. The idea of a death match with Remo hadn’t scared me, death and pain didn’t, but Leona’s love and my love for her: scared me shitless. But it was something I’d just have to deal with because Leona wasn’t going anywhere, and I wouldn’t stop loving her.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Fabiano’s bruises and cuts had healed. Roger’s Arena had been renovated, but I was no longer working for him. Fabiano didn’t want me to. After all, now I was officially his girl. Even my mother had finally stopped selling her body because she didn’t have to do it anymore. She got her crystal from Fabiano. The Camorra had more than enough of the toxic stuff. It wasn’t what I’d wanted for her. I still wished she’d stop taking the shit altogether, but it was all I could do for her. The rest was her choice.
Suddenly people treated me differently. With respect, not because of who I was but because of who I belonged to: The Enforcer of the Camorra.
It was nice in some regard, but I’d have still preferred if people would respect me for my own accomplishments. One day perhaps.
I sat quietly beside Fabiano, watching Nino Falcone destroy his opponent in the fighting cage. Remo sat at the same table but I preferred to ignore him. He was being civil toward me since the fight to the death. And I in turn treated him with the respect he expected as Capo. I did it for Fabiano, and because I wasn’t suicidal. But I’d never like him. Too little humanness was left in him, if it had ever been there in the first place. His two brothers were at the table too. Savio, who whistled whenever his brother landed a hit, and Adamo, who seemed sunken into himself, not once glancing toward the cage.
Fabiano traced a hand up my thigh, startling me. My eyes met his, then quickly did a scan of our surroundings. People were mesmerized by the fight and didn’t pay attention to what was going on beneath our table.
Fabiano turned his attention back to the fighting as well but kept stroking the inside of my thigh. Nino threw his opponent into the cage and the room exploded with applause. Fabiano slipped his hand beneath my panties, finding me aroused as usual when he touched me. He leaned over, his breath hot against my ear. “I hope this isn’t because of Nino,” he said huskily.