Today the silly hopes of a stupid girl were crushed. Savio didn’t want me, not in the way I wanted him. He wouldn’t push me out of bed, that was for sure, but he wasn’t willing to invest more than that. I swallowed as a new wave of sobs wracked me. It wasn’t that I’d never imagined how it would be to be close to Savio, to kiss him and run my hands down his body, but it had always only been part of the reason why I wanted to be with him. He was funny, incredibly so. I’d lost count of the times his stupid comments have made me snort-laugh, often when I’d spied on him and Diego, and wasn’t even supposed to listen. Even though he and his brothers weren’t Traditionalists, they lived for their family.
After a while, I quieted down and just lay on my side, staring blankly at my wall. I didn’t even feel like crying anymore. Hollowness crowded my chest. A knock sounded, but I didn’t react. The door creaked and steps rang out before my bed dipped.
“Don’t cry,” Diego said quietly. It was funny how difficult it was for him to see tears on my face when he did so many horrible things in the name of the Camorra.
“I’m not. Not anymore.” I rolled around to face him.
He watched me for a long time. His lower lip was already swelling, but he’d gotten rid of the blood and changed into a clean T-shirt. That he wasn’t angry at me for punching him showed that he did, indeed, feel guilty. “Mick’s all right. He’s decent, and I’ll make sure he treats you right, trust me. With him I can really keep you safe. If you’d been given to some Captain or an Underboss in another city, you would have been at his mercy. I couldn’t allow that. With Mick, you’ll never have to fear violence. You don’t have to be scared.”
“I’m not. I know Mick. He’s nice.” Mick wouldn’t hurt me, I was sure of that, even if I didn’t know him that well, but given how tight Diego, Savio and Mick were, my brother probably knew every one of his dirty deeds.
Diego looked at me with pity in his eyes. I hated that look because it made me feel so stupid and naïve. Of course, that’s exactly what I was, thinking I could change Savio Falcone’s ways. Even if he married one day, it would probably be the daughter of some Underboss. “Savio’s a player, Gemma. He had the chance to ask for your hand. Dad would have given you to him. Every family would have given their daughter to him.”
I nodded. I’d known this for a long time. I’d chosen to ignore facts and stay in my bubble. I only had myself to blame. It was always easier to blame others, though. “But he didn’t ask. I thought…” I couldn’t say what I thought. That there was something between Savio and me, a connection. “I thought he liked me. I thought I caught him looking at me.”
“He likes you all right,” Diego muttered. Again, I caught the undercurrent of anger in his voice when he talked about Savio. “And, of course, he checked you out. Every guy does.” Diego’s mouth pulled into a grimace as if me looking halfway decent was his worst nightmare come true.
I flushed. “I don’t want to marry Mick, or anyone else…”
Diego got up and threw up his hands. “You can’t have Savio, Gemma. Get it out of your head. Why buy a cow if you can have milk for free? That’s his credo, and the world is full of cows willing to throw their milk for free at Savio.”
I wanted Savio to have my milk, but not on his terms, not for free. Of course, that meant he’d never get my milk. Diego sighed. “Forget him. The sooner you get to terms with marrying Mick, the easier it’ll be.”
The problem was my heart belonged to Savio and even just trying to look at Mick like he could be something for me felt like I was cheating on my heart—and somehow Savio. “Easy for you to say. You don’t have to marry someone you don’t want.”
“You really think I’m going to marry for love, Gemma? Grow up. I’ll marry whoever Dad suggests, whoever helps our family improve in rank.”
“You’re such a romantic.”
“I’m being realistic. Dreaming about Prince Charming is for little girls, and you aren’t a little girl anymore. Not to mention that Savio is definitely no Prince Charming. He’s the Big Bad Wolf who wants to eat you.” He snapped his mouth shut and actually flushed. It took me a moment to realize why and then I felt my own cheeks heat.
Diego spared us both the embarrassment and stalked out of the room with a look as if he was going to be sick at any moment.