I took her hand. “We both know that was never going to happen.” My eyes, too, stung with unshed tears.
She nodded. “If your dad could have seen you like this…” Her words died away in a choked sob and a tear slid out of my eye. I fought for composure. Maybe the waterproof makeup would keep everything in place, but swollen eyes and a red nose were difficult to hide. “And your nonna.” Mom closed her eyes, her face scrunching up. She shook her head desperately, trying to hold back.
Wetness gathered on my cheeks and I pressed my lips together.
Since I was a little girl, I’d dreamed about my wedding day. Mom and Nonna would show me photos from their day, beaming and wistful. They’d both been beautiful brides, and they never stopped telling me that I, too, would be a gorgeous bride.
Nonna had always been so excited about witnessing my wedding, the first wedding from her grandchildren. Now she wouldn’t be there.
Neither would be Dad. My stomach hollowed out, a gaping abyss of grief and sadness.
“They are watching from above,” she finished firmly. “That should be our consolation today. This is a day of joy and we can’t allow grief to ruin it. I’ve waited too long to see my beautiful Gem walk down the aisle.”
Mom squeezed my hands tightly, staring into my eyes. “Be happy. That’s what both of them wanted for you.” She smiled. “Happiness and many beautiful children.”
“Mom!” I choked out, then laughed. “I’m only eighteen. I won’t give you any grandchildren anytime soon.”
Mom shrugged. “You never know. I was your age when I got pregnant with Diego.”
I didn’t mention that Savio and Dad were nothing alike. Savio definitely didn’t want any children yet, and to be honest, neither did I.
Mom regarded me in a strange way, stroking my cheek. “So grown up. I can’t believe my little girl is going to become a married woman today.” A hint of embarrassment crossed her features.
She cleared her throat. “Tonight will be a special night.”
My eyes grew wide, realizing the direction of Mom’s words. Heat crawled up my neck.
Mom’s cheeks, too, were stained pink. “I think,” she said with a small embarrassed laugh. “I’ll ask your future sisters-in-law to have this conversation with you.”
“Oh no, Mom, I don’t need a conversation.” Toni had explained everything I needed to know. After all, she’d been with Diego, but Mom didn’t know that, of course.
Mom shook her head and walked toward the door. “Every bride needs that kind of talk.” She slipped out before I could try to dissuade her. I stared at my reflection.
My tears had dried by now, and fortunately my eyes weren’t swollen. I hadn’t cried enough for that. I fumbled with the necklace. Nonna’s family heirloom.
A knock sounded, tearing me from this dangerous path of mourning.
“Gemma?” Kiara’s voice rang out. I cringed at the conversation that was about to happen.
Guests had started trickling in and began filling the pews. To see the day that a Falcone would marry in church…
I’d gathered with my brothers in the back, greeting everyone. Kiara and Serafina were busy instructing Greta and Nevio once more. Gemma’s mother hurried toward Kiara and Serafina and said something to them while throwing a quick glance in my direction. They nodded, then Mrs. Bazzoli walked away.
“What is it?” I asked.
Kiara blushed.
Serafina smiled coyly. “Mrs. Bazzoli asked us to have a talk with Gemma before you marry.” She paused for emphasis. “A girl’s talk.”
I shook my head. “Gemma doesn’t need a talk. I’ll show her everything she needs to know.”
Serafina huffed. “Of course, she needs a pep talk. Unlike you, she hasn’t slept with half of Vegas.”
I grinned. “I know. She’s all mine.”
Serafina exchanged a look with Kiara. “Why don’t you return to your groom duties and we’ll handle the girl stuff?”
“As I see it, giving her a good night is my groom duty.”
Fabiano exchanged a look with my brothers as he sauntered toward us with Aurora on his arms.
“I think you need to lower your expectations,” Serafina said.
“Don’t ruin tonight for me.”
Kiara rolled her eyes.
“I’m sure you’ll manage to do that on your own,” Serafina said with a laugh.
“Don’t ruin his night, for fuck’s sake. His fucking blue balls moodiness of the last few months is intolerable. I’ll turn fucking homicidal if he doesn’t get laid soon,” Remo snarled.
“You’re homicidal on the best of days, Remo, let’s be honest here,” Fabiano said, rocking Aurora whose face was red from her last screaming fit. It made her blonde hair and blue eyes stand out even more.
Kiara and Serafina slipped away before I could stop them.
“Damn,” I muttered.
“Maybe you should listen to Fina’s advice and lower your expectations. Maybe Gemma won’t sleep with you tonight, and even if she does, it probably won’t be the fireworks you expect,” Fabiano said.