Fragile Longing

“I caused your issues. But you didn’t have a hand in my messed-up state.”

“They weren’t only caused by you, Danilo,” I said firmly. “The situation was complicated. Mom, Dad, Samuel, and so many more people mourned Fina so strongly that it made me feel inadequate. I thought I’d take Fina’s place in their hearts, as if her disappearance would leave an open slot behind that I could fill in, but instead it created a black hole that consumed everything around it. I wasn’t sure how to deal with it.”

Danilo took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “You were young, Sofia. If even we adults couldn’t handle the situation with grace, how were you supposed to do it?”

“I know that now, but back then I thought I was already old enough to handle everything.”

“But you weren’t. It was our job—my job—to protect you from everything and not bask in revenge.”

“It’s okay. All that matters is that I know you don’t have feelings for my sister.”

Danilo tipped his finger against my forehead. “Took your stubborn head long enough.”

I shrugged. “I guess we can both be stubborn at times.”

Danilo pulled me closer against him and my eyes began to droop as I watched the flames. I felt like I could really let the past rest now. I believed Danilo.

Once we were home, I’d call Fina. She wasn’t the problem, had probably never been. I missed her and wanted to talk to her.

Danilo kissed my neck, but his breathing evened out soon after.

Maybe I should have told him about my phone call with Fina and been completely honest, but I knew it wouldn’t do anything except make him furious.

The next morning as we headed back to Indianapolis, excitement filled me. I was looking forward to what lay ahead. Danilo held my hand throughout the entire drive. We had a dinner with Marco and Bria that evening, but I hoped to get the chance for a quick call with Fina before.

When we arrived at home, Danilo headed into his office for a few phone calls while I hurried outside toward the pond to watch the Koi. The staff had fed them. I settled on a nearby bench and called Fina’s number. She picked up after the third ring. “Sofia?”

“Fina,” I said quietly.

“Oh God, it’s really you. I’m so relieved. I was so worried about you when you didn’t answer my calls after your wedding.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I needed to figure out a few things, but now that I have, I’d like to phone you weekly, if you still want that.”

“Of course. But tell me, are you all right? How’s married life?”

She sounded so excited and concerned at once, full-blown older sister mode.

“Good. We spent a few days at the lake to relax. I really like living in Indianapolis.” We talked about more meaningless details, like yoga and my cooking course, avoiding topics that could be considered betrayal.

When I ended the call, even the last bit of weight had lifted off my shoulder. I strolled back inside. Danilo was still on the phone from the sound of it. A brief flicker of guilt filled me, knowing I kept a secret, but I pushed it aside.I was close to dying from boredom and I could tell from Anna’s strained expression that she was close to finding the same unfortunate end. We had been listening to the wives of a few Captains going on and on about the latest gossip for close to half an hour and had to pretend we were interested. Unlike me, Anna couldn’t even slink off. As the Capo’s daughter, she had to cater to everyone’s whims. I, too, was required to follow the social etiquette as wife of an Underboss and hostess of my husband’s birthday party.

I leaned closer to her. “Do you need another glass of champagne?”

She gave me a grateful look as I headed toward the bar. Bria waved at me from across the room, her black hair framing her face in a wild mane. After our dinner, we hadn’t tried another double date. The tension between Marco and Bria had been too awkward. Now, I only met her alone.

Grabbing two flutes with champagne, I returned to Anna and the wives.

“Has a date been set for your wedding yet?” one of them asked Anna. Since she’d turned eighteen a few months ago, the question had been floating around the Outfit constantly.

Anna took the glass from me with a mouthed thanks and gave the woman a tight smile. “No, actually, there isn’t. I’m still busy with college, and so is Clifford.”

“College,” the woman scoffed. “In my time, women didn’t go to college. They became mothers to beautiful babies.” Her eyes zoomed in on me, and I suppressed a groan.

She patted my belly, making my eyes go wide. “And? Is there a little one in there? You’ve been married for a long time, and your husband is almost thirty.”