Fragile Longing

“Yeah,” I said. “But it doesn’t really make me feel any better.”

She bumped her shoulder against mine. “And it doesn’t really matter what happened years ago. What matters is that Danilo now keeps checking you out and acts very protective. That’s a good sign.”

I hadn’t told Anna about my embarrassing boob flashing yet. Closing my eyes, I burst out with the story. For a second, silence followed, then Anna started laughing.

I gave her an incredulous look.

She covered her mouth with her hand. “Sorry. But that’s hilarious. I can’t imagine you being so forward.”

My cheeks burned. “Yeah, well, I was, and it didn’t go over well.”

Anna lowered her hand, still fighting laughter. “He’s trying to be a gentleman. That’s kind of cute.”

“Since when do you like gentlemen?”

She shrugged. “I don’t, but you are all about the gentlemanly Disney princes.”

“I’m not delusional. I know men aren’t princes. Especially our men.”

“Good,” Anna said firmly. “That’s going to spare you a lot of heartache in the future. It would have been stupid of him to do anything with Samuel close by. Your brother would have lost his shit. Danilo won’t risk that much trouble for a boob squeeze.”

I slapped her thigh. “You make it sound really stupid.”

“It was stupid, but also cool. I wish I could have seen his face when you showed him your boobs. I know they’re nice. Next time you want to flash your boobs, do it in front of Leonas and his friends. They’d holler like the horny idiots that they are.”

I shook my head but smiled. “How do you manage to make me feel stupid but at the same time make me feel better about myself?”

“Being stupid is the best thing about being young,” she said. “We’ll be tied down with responsibilities soon enough. Let’s make stupid decisions as long as we can.”

“Do I even want to know what kind of stupid decisions you have planned?”

Anna grinned. “No, but I’ll tell you anyway. But hey, who says I’ll be the only one being stupid. You seem to be catching up with me.”Anna’s words proved to be correct. The boob flashing wasn’t the last stupid thing I did, nor was it the worst. Where Danilo was concerned, my brain just short-circuited.

It started one evening when Anna mentioned on the phone that Santino had met Danilo at a party and that he’d left with a blonde girl. I checked the news for Indianapolis afterward but didn’t find anything. Danilo had become more careful with his conquests, keeping them out of the public eye, but he still seemed to be sleeping with blonde girls. Anna kept me up to date after that because Santino reluctantly shared information with her. Apparently, Danilo was sleeping his way through the high society of Indianapolis—the blonde high-society, mind you.

Overcome with jealousy and anger, I decided to make him realize he had a desirable woman at his side, one who’d be his wife soon enough.

For once, I wanted to be the one he looked at with desire. The problem was that I wasn’t sure what to do. Then a chance presented itself in mid-January of my wedding year.

Samuel mentioned that Danilo was throwing a huge birthday party at his lake house. Marco was organizing it, a last huge birthday bash before Danilo became a married man. When I found out it was a costume party, a crazy idea formed in my head.

I called Anna immediately.

When I told her about my plan, she fell silent. “You take my stupid-decisions theory a bit too seriously.”

“I’m not joking. I want to confront him. I want to hold a mirror to his face.”

“By wearing a blond wig and a slutty costume and trying to get him on the hook? What would that accomplish?”

“That he’ll realize I’m sexy too, that he’ll look at me and really see me.”

“But he won’t see you. He’ll see a costumed blonde chick.”

“Anna,” I whined. “Least of all, we’ll get the chance to attend a cool party. I deserve a bash before I become a married woman.”

“I have a bad feeling about this. Not because of the party, but because I know you won’t like how Danilo will react. He won’t feel guilty when you reveal yourself after you kiss. He’ll only get angry. That’s how men in our world handle situations like that.”

“Will you help me?”

She sighed. “Let me come up with a plan. We can hardly ask our parents to allow us to attend.”

“That would defy our incognito mission.”

Anna snorted. “You watch too many gangster movies.”

“As if I have to,” I muttered.

“How far from the Mancini lodge is your family’s lodge?”

“Fifty miles? Maybe a little less. Do you think we could stay there?”

“Let me see what I can do. We can pretend we need a girls’ weekend in your lodge, and then we sneak off to the party.”