Fragile Longing

I was about to announce my presence but then Danilo said, “People are asking many questions. It was inevitable. I hope you have the right answers. I don’t want Emma to find out about the deal. Most people don’t dare spreading their rumors yet.”

What kind of deal?

“Don’t worry. I can handle it, or do you really think I want Sofia to find out you only agreed to marry her if I married your sister? She’d be fucking heartbroken.”

I stifled a gasp, my chest clenching with acute pain. Danilo had only agreed to marrying me in exchange for Samuel’s engagement to Emma? But Emma and his bond had only been made this year . . . right?

Or had everyone just kept the truth from me and the public all this time? Mom, Dad, Samuel, Danilo. How many more had known?

“Marriage in our world is based on logic.”

Danilo sounded so . . . emotionless. He hadn’t been emotionless in the slightest when Serafina had been concerned.

I backed deeper into the lounge shell, scared they’d catch sight of me. The opening of the shell faced toward the other direction of the lake, not the path leading up from the lower deck. I didn’t want to hear more, but I couldn’t run off without them noticing. I closed my eyes briefly, trying to compose myself. I didn’t want to lose it now.

“You know it. I know it,” Samuel said, his voice briefly muffled as if he were towel-wiping his face. “But girls want romance and magic. They don’t want cold logic. Especially Sofia.”

“Emma’s the same way,” Danilo said regretfully. “It’s our duty to make the bond work.”

I was a chore.

His duty.

He was only marrying me so Samuel would marry Emma in turn. He’d never wanted me for myself.

He probably still wanted Serafina after all these years.

I blamed her and I hated myself for feeling that way. It wasn’t her fault that my fiancé couldn’t let go of her.

I blinked rapidly to stop myself from bawling. I didn’t want to cry because of Danilo. He didn’t deserve my tears.

I tucked my legs in, holding my breath when their steps came even closer, but then they went into the lodge. I waited a couple more heartbeats before I slid out of the lounge shell and ran down the path, away from the lodge. I didn’t stop until I reached the lower deck, where I sank down and lowered my feet into the cold water.

I tried to let the lake calm me. I’d always known this marriage wasn’t based on emotions. It had been a deal from the very start—me as a substitute for Serafina. Still the knowledge about the additional deal tore at me. Emma didn’t know, either. For the briefest moment, I considered telling her, but then I decided against it. The truth would only cause her heartache. At least, she should enter her marriage thinking we weren’t exchanged like cattle.

I sat like that for a long time until my toes became numb from the cold water.

“Hey, what are you doing out here all alone?” Anna asked, startling me.

She sank down beside me, still in pajama shorts and a top. I felt like a broken record whining to her about Danilo, but I needed to get it off my chest. She listened quietly, a frown on her face. When I was done, I waited for her to start a rant, but she didn’t look that shocked.

“Did you know?” I asked, horrified.

She shook her head. Her eyes were still puffy with sleep and her hair all over the place. Her reactions were slower, too. “I didn’t know. It’s not like Dad shares these kinds of things with me. I mostly find out about them when I sneak around the house or force Leonas to do the spying for me.”

“But?” I asked because I could tell there was more.

“I had a strange feeling when they announced Samuel’s engagement to Emma. First, why had they stopped looking for a suitor for her years ago? Second, why would Samuel or your parents agree to the bond? No matter how horrible it sounds, you know in our world Emma is considered damaged goods.” Her lips curled, and she shook her head. “Samuel was a sought-after bachelor. He could have had the daughter of any Captain or even Underboss. That would have made more sense from a tactical standpoint as well because then your family would have furthered their bonds with another city. With your marriage to Danilo, they are already linked to Indianapolis.”

“I know,” I whispered. “So, Danilo forced Samuel to marry Emma in turn for marrying me.”

Anna touched my hand. “I don’t think it says anything about you, Sofia. He used his chance to save his sister. It was probably his only chance. He would have married you either way, but he needed to secure a good match for Emma.”