Fragile Longing

Fina hadn’t been there to help me choose a dress. I hadn’t seen her in six years and only once talked to her on the phone. She wouldn’t be at my wedding.

Deep down, I was glad. If she were present, Danilo would have only eyes for her, and even without her there, I’d have to battle her memory. He’d be thinking about another Mione sister when I walked down the aisle toward him. I’d stopped hoping for admiration from him on my wedding day.

Anna nudged me, one brow rising. “Hey, what’s up?” She leaned closer so Mom wouldn’t hear her, but she was busy chatting with the stylist anyway. “Is it because of Danilo?”

Of course, it was. Most of my dark moods over the years had been because of him.

“You are so beautiful,” Anna whispered, her face lighting up. “Enjoy it. Trust me, everyone will be speechless.”

I soaked up her excitement and let it carry away my dread and worry.

I wanted to be excited about my wedding. It was a day I had been looking forward to for as long as I could remember. I wouldn’t let anything ruin this day for me. I smiled, really taking in my dress. I looked beautiful. The stylist had put up my hair in an elegant chignon with the hairpiece attached to my crown so we could fix the veil on it later. Mom came up behind me and touched my shoulders, peering at my face in the mirror with a wistful smile. She was a few inches taller than me, and her hair was blonde. Both features that Serafina had inherited but not I. “You’re such a beautiful bride, Sofia.”

I smiled. “Thank you, Mom.”

She walked around until she was right in front of me. “Is there anything you want to know before tonight?”

I flushed and quickly shook my head. Anna winked at me and sank down on the couch, stifling laughter. Mom and I had had the talk ages ago, and I didn’t want to repeat it. Anna and I had talked about everything I really wanted to know. Memories from that fateful night several months ago resurfaced, my desperate attempt to convince myself that Danilo wasn’t still obsessed with my sister, and the brutal realization that he was. That experience had been painful. I didn’t want to experience either again. Yet tonight, we were expected to consummate our marriage. Danilo certainly would want to do it, not because he desired me, but because he needed to lay claim to me before someone else could.

“Sofia?” Mom asked, touching my cheek lightly.

I blinked, bringing my focus back to the moment. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

A look of understanding passed her face. “You don’t have to be nervous. Danilo is a gentleman.”

I nodded. He wasn’t really. At least, he hadn’t been to that blonde girl. He’d been angry and rude. Nothing like I’d expected. “Don’t worry, Mom. I’m fine. It’s just a lot to take in today.”

“It is.”

There was a brief knock at the door before it opened. Dad stepped in, then took his time admiring me. He shook his head with a small smile. “You look absolutely radiant, ladybug.”

I gave him a grateful smile.

“The cars are ready to go. We should head out in ten minutes. Samuel is making sure everyone’s in place.”

Dad came over to me and kissed my forehead. “This will be a wonderful day. You are safe.”

“I know, Dad.” I wasn’t worried about my safety. The Camorra wouldn’t attack. They had no reason to, and even if the Bratva or one of our other enemies tried to attack, they’d fail. The bridal car was bulletproof and accompanied by four cars with bodyguards. This was a high-security wedding.

Dad smiled at Anna. “You make sure our bride isn’t too nervous.”

Mom nodded. “I’m taking my leave. Maybe the maid of honor and the bride want a bit of privacy. I’m sure you two want to have a chat before everything starts.”

“I’ll wait outside for you,” Dad said.

I nodded and my parents left the room. Anna stood, smoothing her dress, while Dad closed the door so we could have some privacy. Anna looked absolutely stunning in a blue dress that matched her eyes and mine.

Her smile dropped as soon as we were alone, and she hurried over to me with a frown. “Don’t let anything ruin this day for you. You’ve been looking forward to it for years. Enjoy it.” She hugged me. “I mean it. I’ll be so pissed if you don’t party like there’s no tomorrow.”

I huffed. “Kind of difficult to not let it ruin everything when your groom would rather marry someone else. That’s not really something I’ve been looking forward to. This wedding isn’t about me, and you know it. Everyone will be comparing it to Fina’s failed wedding and everyone will compare me to her.”