"Yes," Vicki agreed, then decided to say something that had been bubbling up inside of her for quite some time. "Don't you dare let them make you feel bad because you dreamed higher than they have the capacity to imagine. Be proud." The Callaghans' motivations made no difference to her. In her book, nothing could excuse the neglect and pain Caleb had suffered because of them.
His chin dropped to rest on top of her head. "They'll always be in my life."
"And I'll never try to push them out. We both have relations we have to deal with though we'd rather not. But they have to learn to treat you with the proper respect." She refused to back off on this. Too many times in their marriage, she'd stayed silent and it had torn them apart. However, that particular dam had broken forever when she'd walked into Caleb's room and bared her soul. "Next time one of them calls, I'll take it. This is the last chance they'll ever have to hurt you."
Caleb was astounded by the cold fury he could hear in her voice. Vicki had always been so gentle, so non-confrontational. But beyond his surprise was the glow of hope. She was right. He was holding his real family in his arms. Maybe their marriage was rocky but they'd made a promise to see it through. The lack of ambivalence in Vicki's comments gave him back the sense of stability he'd lost the moment she'd demanded a divorce.
"I want to ask you something," he said, reminded of it by his thoughts of the cool, non-combative woman he'd married. A woman in whom he'd seen embers of passion—embers that their marriage had stifled instead of nurtured.
"What?" Vibrant life in that single word.
A little of his guilt receded. "What did your grandmother tell you when she invited me to that dinner party where she introduced us?" Lately, he'd begun to wonder if Ada had lied to get Vicki to trust him enough to let him court her. How else could he explain her faith in him from the very start? Especially when his no-holds-barred personality must have been immediately obvious.
Laughing, she tipped her head back to meet his gaze. "She said she'd found the perfect man for me. He'd keep me in line because I'd need a strong hand to ensure I didn't turn out like my mother. Oh, and he'd make sure I was taken care of."
He winced, his theory in ruins. That was hardly likely to get a woman to trust a man. "Did she force you—"
"I fell for you about ten seconds after you started talking to me. She saw a man who'd use his strength to crush. I saw someone who'd use it to protect." She smiled. "You had so much energy, so much heart that you made me feel truly alive for the first time. I couldn't bear to return to the life I had before I met you."
Despite his decision to be honest, Caleb couldn't bring himself to ask the question that continued to haunt him. What about now? Did the woman she'd become trust him as that vulnerable girl had? Or had that love crumbled after years of being trapped in a marriage that made her desperately unhappy?
Instead of asking questions that might destroy him, he joked, "I'm glad because once I saw you, that was it."
"Good." Her laughter was a gift. After hugging him tightly once more, she pulled away. "Come on, let's eat. I'm starving—our baby is a hungry little thing."
"What does it feel like?" he asked, curious.
"The baby? I think I can feel her moving but it's probably all in my mind. According to the baby books, it's too early."
"Her?" That quickly, their baby became real, a little person with hopes and dreams, and a heart that he could bruise with a careless word.
Vicki gave him a sheepish smile. "I just started thinking of it as a girl. Would you prefer a girl or a boy?"
"I don't mind," he replied truthfully. "I only want it to be healthy."
"Me, too." Her face became solemn. "It's scary thinking about a child who's going to rely on me for everything."
"On us." He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and nudged her into a seat. "But yeah, it's not like either of us has a good example to follow. Are these baby books for dads as well?" Books he understood—they taught you things. Maybe they could teach him how to be a good father, a concept that caused raw panic inside of him whenever he dared think about it. Like now.
Her smile was huge. "Yes. I'll give you a good one."
Sitting down, he nodded. "So," he said, deciding that that was about as much baby talk as he could handle for one night, "you get any interesting phone calls today?" It was meant to be a lighthearted comment but her expression grew pensive.
"Mother confirmed her plans to visit."
He paused, trying to catch the emotions passing over her face like storm clouds. "What else did she say?"
Vicki shrugged and made a face. "Nothing much—you know her. Do you want some more salad?"
He let her change the subject, having learned that she didn't like discussing her mother. Danica contacted Vicki once or twice every year and inevitably left behind a mess. After her last visit, Vicki had locked herself in her study and sobbed as though her heart was broken. Although he'd tried to talk to her about it, she'd pretended nothing was wrong. It frustrated him but her emotional armor on this topic was so tough, he'd never made much of a dent in it.
Figuring they had bigger problems to solve, he didn't press the issue this time. But part of him worried about exactly what it was that she was so scared to face … and what those buried truths were doing to her already-bruised psyche.
* * *
They were hyper-aware of each other as they got ready for bed that night. Vicki felt like a virgin again, flustered and lost, with no idea what to do. In the end she washed up and waited until Caleb went into the bathroom to brush his teeth before slipping into her pj's. They were hardly the sexiest of garments, but she wasn't sure she could live up to the promise implied by slinky lingerie.
Sliding under the thick blanket, she turned off all the lights except the one on Caleb's side of the bed. The door to the bathroom opened a second later and Caleb walked back in.
"Sweetheart, that blanket has to go." Surprised out of her mini panic, she sat straight up. "What?"
He was already pulling it off. "We'll roast to death."
She clutched at her end. "Caleb! It's cold. I need it."
His eyes met hers, the clear hazel almost silver in the muted light of the room. "You needed it. We won't."
Heart somewhere in her throat, she released her grip on the blanket. Caleb bunched it up in his hands and walked out. A couple of minutes later, he returned with a much thinner one. Getting in beside her, he flipped it open over them and switched off the light. Then he turned to take her in his arms. She felt his body heat seep into her bones, the most intimate of caresses. He wore only his boxers and the hairs of his bare arm tantalized the skin of her abdomen where the top of her pj's had ridden up.
"Caleb?"
"Yes?"
"I'm scared."
Vicki's confession ripped the heart right out of him. Because the truth was, he was terrified. Part of him still couldn't accept that she wanted him. It was hard to believe the words she said when he'd spent years listening to her body and hearing the opposite.
"There's nothing to be scared about. All you have to do is let your body tell the truth." What he didn't want to face was the prospect that he'd hear the same unwelcoming message.
He didn't think he had it in him to go back to the way things had been before Vicki had shaken up their world. Now that he'd glimpsed the fire within her, he wanted to plunge his hand into the flames and burn in the heat of her passion.
Turning in his arms, Vicki tipped her head up. He could barely see the outline of her face. "I want you so much, Caleb. Please don't give up on me."
"I don't think I have it in me to give up on you." Sliding the hand on her hip up into her hair, he moved his body slightly over hers and placed a kiss on her lips.
Fire and spice, ecstasy and exquisite pleasure, her kiss was everything he could have asked for. She said everything with her lips, her tongue, her breathless gasps. But this time he couldn't get past the fact that her arms remained by her sides.
Breaking the kiss, his initial reaction was to move away, to save himself another knife in the heart.
You have to help me.
Her plea from the night before filled his mind as he reached down, lifted one arm and put it over his shoulder. She gave a soft "Ohh," and did the same with her other. "Sorry," she whispered against his lips. "I forget everything when you kiss me."
Caleb thought a man could hear worse things in bed. Leaning down, he kissed her again but let her take the lead. Every particle of his being was concentrated on her body, on the way she moved, on the slightest pressure of her fingertips.
"This isn't working," she said, pulling away from the kiss. "You're so tense I can feel your muscles vibrating and I'm even worse."