So, as insane as it was that I had to completely put my entire life on pause, was there really another choice? It didn't seem like it. It seemed like I had somehow gotten myself involved in something that I had no control over getting out of safely.
What would happen to my apartment? My stuff? Could I still contact my family?
Oh, God.
What about my grandmother? I hadn't even gotten a chance to go see her. And if I let another day go by without calling her, she would start to worry.
"Alright, hold up," Lo said, giving me a look that said she could see my gears turning. "I get it. This is a lot for anyone to take in, let alone someone who shouldn't have to. But I think everyone is in agreement that keeping you safe is more important than job interviews and grocery shopping and all that normal shit."
"I get that," I agreed, nodding. "But that normal shit is important. I have rent to pay or I'll lose my apartment. One day, this will be over and I will need to live somewhere. I'll need my stuff. Everything I own is in that apartment and..."
"Well, if Reign doesn't demand it, I will send someone to get your stuff. You're not losing everything here. You're just losing a couple days or weeks. That's it. I think it's a small price to pay for your life."
Again, she wasn't wrong.
"My grandmother just broke her hip..." I started.
Lo waved a hand. "We will figure out a way for you to see her. You'll just have to put on a good act so she doesn't know something is wrong. And, well, it might be best to wait another day or two until the bruises on your face heal."
"Good point," I said with a nod.
"Hey," Lo said, her hand landing on my knee. When I looked up, all I saw was understanding in her eyes. "This sucks. You didn't do anything to deserve this, but this is how it is. You can sit here and worry yourself sick and woe-is-me it into a deep depression or you can suck it up, chalk it up to life being a relentless bitch at times, and move on. Either way, it won't change the situation, just how you handle it."
I liked Lo.
I barely knew her, but I liked her.
Maybe it was because I grew up around my grandmother who was very no-holds-barred and opinionated, but I was drawn to that kind of grit. It was kind of cool to see it in a woman who wasn't three times my age.
Maybe some of it would rub off on me a bit.
"Alright. So let's go get some coffee before all the men drink it on us," Lo said, standing and moving toward the door.
When we got back to the kitchen, Renny and Duke were gone, someone named Repo telling us that they 'had some shit' to handle and leaving it at that before going ahead and making us (and all the men) some food.
By five that night, Duke still hadn't returned.
Lo and Ashley were practically forcibly removed from the premises by Cash who insisted she get her 'fine ass' back up to Hailstorm before it got dark.
And that left me alone.
So, uncomfortable and finding myself treated like a leper, the men all seeming to fan out away from me whenever they passed, I went back to Duke's room.
I took a whore's bath in the sink.
I changed t-shirts again.
I waited.
And waited.
Then I waited so long that I slept, stomach grumbling as I drifted off.
And I, yet again, woke to slamming noises.
I was in a seated position with the knife raised before I could even blink the sleep out of my eyes.
"Gettin' quick with that," Duke said, brow raised as he looked up at me from a hunched position where he was putting things on the ground. My things. In fact, he had my fluffy pink and yellow body pillow tucked under his arm. It was so absurd that I let out a strange, strangled laugh that made his own lips tip up too. "Thank fuck I didn't have to take this thing on the bike with me," he said, tossing toward the bed and I reached for it, folding it in half and hugging it to my chest, both surprised and delighted to find that it no longer smelled like my laundry detergent and instead had Duke's scent.
"You got my stuff?" I found myself asking, somehow a little insecure about the idea of him in my apartment. It was, like I said, an alright apartment, but I didn't get a chance to hang curtains or throw some toss pillows around, make it look decent. Somehow, that nonsense was what was on my mind. Not the fact that one of the boxes that had been sitting on my bathroom floor not only held a giant box of tampons, but also a battery-operated device that I had to buy online and double-check to make sure it would come in an unmarked box.