"There's a bathroom through there," he said, pointing to where there was a metal door. "But don't get your hopes up too high. It's an old washing basin and a compost toilet. But it will do. We're safe down here. No one but me and Tig knows its here. And Tig only because this is his property. We have an agreement that if the shit ever hits the fan that he gets to come stay here too."
"So, you're like... a prepper?" I heard myself ask, the word clumsy on my tongue.
Duke turned to me and, even though his eyes were haunted, he gave me a small smile. "I like to be prepared for any eventuality. It seems to have paid off. I will get you up to Hailstorm as soon as I'm sure it's safe to drive up there, but I had no where else to bring you tonight."
He moved away from me then, taking a deep breath as he shut off the lantern and put it down on one of the top bunks.
"Duke," I said, needing to know. "Did you lose more men tonight?"
His head ducked; his shoulders sagged; when he spoke, his voice was hollow.
"Aside from me, Renny, Cash, Reign, Repo, and I pray to fuck... Wolf, we only have one man left. If he makes it through the night."
"Oh my God," I heard myself say, everything in me recoiling at the idea that the dozen or so other men I had seen milling around the compound were simply... gone. "Duke, I'm so..." I started and stopped myself. Sorry didn't cover it.
I moved toward him, putting my arms around his waist and resting my head against his back, giving the only thing I had to give- a small show of physical comfort. His body stayed stiff for a long minute before I felt him pulling against my hold so he could turn, his arms going around my shoulders and hips and pulling me against his chest hard. I could feel his chin drop down on top of my head and I just... held him.
We stood that way for a long time. Minutes seemed to turn into hours which turned into years. But I not once felt the urge to pull away.
So when his arms loosened and his hands started stroking across my shoulders, into my hair, down my sides, I melted into it. And when his hands started lifting my tee, my arms raised over my head.
There was no thinking, no questioning, no reservations.
I knew that when the desire ebbed and my brain kicked in again, that there would be regret and shame because the situation of Duke's past was still murky and unclear.
But, in that moment, after being in the middle of a drive-by, after watching a man get shot, after hearing his wife lose her mind over it, after being questioned by the police and after finding out that men I had been sharing a residence with were almost all dead... I didn't want to think.
I wanted to feel.
I wanted an affirmation of life.
I read somewhere that people almost always wanted to have sex after traumatic events and after funerals. They needed that feeling of aliveness, of connection, of something other than darkness.
So I wasn't going to overthink it.
I was going to let it happen.
And then deal with the consequences.
Besides, I was a grown woman. Pretty much no grown woman who wasn't 'saving themselves for marriage' ended up with at least one sexual encounter to regret. It was par for the course of being a sexually active adult.
Somehow, I felt okay with having to regret Duke.
My head lifted and his face descended. I expected light, teasing, given how easily his hands were moving over my bare skin, making it goosebump under the attention. But when his lips found mine, they were firm, demanding, needy.
His hands pushed my hips back slightly as his tongue moved inside to claim mine. Then his fingers slid up my belly and covered my breasts, squeezing hard, almost to the point of pain. His fingers moved and grabbed my hardened nipples, squeezing and twisting before rolling them between his fingers.
I moaned into his mouth.
He growled into mine.
His hand left one of my breasts, trailing back down my belly, making it feel wobbly, as he stopped to push my button through and pull down my zip. Then his hands snagged the material of my jeans and panties and dragged them down. I didn't even hesitate to step out.
He released my lips, leaving them feeling tingly and swollen, reached behind his back and pulled off his shirt.
Did I mention that Duke had the perfect body?
'Cause Duke had the perfect body.
He was a solid kind of strong, all wide shoulders and firm center, his muscles etched deep.
I moved toward him, pressing myself against him, feeling his skin against my bare breasts as I reached up to free his hair from the tie. It fell down on his shoulders and I tucked a bit behind his ear.