And he was bringing in most of the big guns, the ones who had a strong history of violence, the ones who had worked interesting jobs in the past.
"Huck will appreciate the help, even if he won't admit it. Are you all driving down?"
"Yeah. Leaving first thing in the morning. So you can go ahead and head back sometime tomorrow."
"What?" I asked, the word croaking out of me.
"Yeah. I'm gonna need an extra set of hands up here. We'll have more than enough down there."
Fuck.
Fuck.
No.
This couldn't be happening.
"I might be more helpful here than you think."
"West," Reign said, sighing. "Think about this. You have to head back sooner or later. Think maybe might be the right time? Before shit gets too sticky. Girls getting thrown in trunks, breaking shit while falling out of trees, sounds pretty fucking sticky to me already."
I didn't want his words to ring true.
I didn't want to be reminded that my time here had an expiration date. I'd been doing a really good job not focusing on that for the past few weeks.
In doing so, shit got a lot more real with Auggie. So real that I didn't want to go back. Even though my men were there. Even though my friends were there. Even though my life was there.
Then again, my attachment to Auggie was what led her to getting hurt.
Sure, she was connected to Huck and the guys. But my connection with her was what got her taken. They hadn't tried to impersonate Huck or McCoy or Che or Remy.
No.
They picked me.
Because I had led them to her over and over and fucking over again. Her apartment. Her work. If not for me, she would have likely been out with her friends, more disconnected from the up-and-coming club.
I didn't want to feel guilt.
Maybe it wasn't even reasonable.
But if I stayed, as new empires rose up and tried to take down this new chapter, she would always be a target.
Whereas, if I left, she would likely find some other, more normal guy, get all wrapped up in him, distance herself from the club.
Then she wouldn't be a target anymore.
Having me here, keeping her even more attached to the guys, it would always keep a target on her back.
My chest felt like someone stuck an ax through it, but I did it. I agreed.
To leave.
To go home.
I went in, kissed Auggie's sleeping temple, getting a grumble and swat for disturbing her, a growl from her new purse gremlin, and then made my way out.
"The fuck did I say to you?" McCoy asked as I walked outside, likely having gotten the news from Huck who'd taken it a lot better than I expected, commenting that you had to do what your president said, something he was likely coming to grips with himself as he moved into that position of power.
"McCoy, I have orders."
"Fuck your orders. We had an agreement."
"I didn't hurt her," I insisted, the words tasting like a lie on my tongue.
"You think she's going to wake up, hear this news, and not be hurt? You think that's even a remote possibility?"
"I think she will be better off without me."
"Figure maybe that's her choice."
I couldn't disagree with that.
"Listen, McCoy. I have my orders. Someday, you'll have orders from Huck that you won't agree with too. And you will have to follow them because that's what you do in a club."
"You're not going to say shit to her even? When she's fucking hurt?"
"I just... I fucking can't do it, McCoy," I admitted, hearing the roughness in my voice.
"Chickenshit."
"Yeah," I agreed. "Yeah," I said again, nodding as I made my way past him to my new, un-charred bike. "Take care of her," I demanded, making my way to the car.
Each step felt weighted.
But it was nothing compared to the crushing sensation in my chest.
On the drive out of town, I considered turning back a dozen times. A hundred. But, eventually, I was too far to turn back. So long gone that she was likely already awake, had already learned of my departure.
She wouldn't want me back.
Not if I was able to leave her like that.
That idea was possibly the only thing that allowed me to push through and make my way back to Navesink Bank."Alright. That's enough," Vance declared on the third day, dropping down at the foot of my bed.
"Fuck off. You pined over Ferryn for like eight years."
"So it is a woman. It is a woman!" he called out to, I imagined, Ferryn who was waiting in the hall. "You owe me," he added.
"Betting on me. Real classy," I said, folding up, reaching for the beer on my nightstand. "Any word from Reign?" I asked, wanting to sidestep the whole Auggie thing, not wanting to get into it.
I suddenly felt like shit about all the times I ribbed one of the guys for being in a similar situation.