I had spent way too much of my life hiding away, being scared, not experiencing things. And I had finally, finally started getting a life outside of that.
I wasn't losing that.
I wasn't going to go down without a fight.
The car ride seemed to stretch on forever, long enough for a heavy feeling to settle in my stomach, something akin to dread, with nothing but my thoughts and some ear-aching, poorly recorded street corner rap to listen to.
Sights passed, familiar, but hazy with how long since I had seen them.
I could feel a cold sweat start all over every inch of skin as we crossed into a place I had only ever been once before and then only because they housed Jersey's biggest aquarium. I had gone with my uncle and we had parked close to the doors and got out of town before it got dark. Paranoid? Maybe. But then again, when a town had the kind of reputation that Camden did for crime, it was wise to not take any chances.
We drove past an area that was busy, people milling in and out of stores, nothing the least bit threatening in sight. But the further we drove, the less people I saw, the more boarded-up, half-dilapidated buildings we passed. Graffiti with varying levels of artistic talent covered some of the empty buildings, some standing out more than others:
Stop the hate.
Raise Camden Up.
Get rich or try sharing.
I almost got a strange, warm feeling in my chest. For all of two minutes until I spotted the image of a woman taking up the whole side of a building, naked, cupping her breasts, a laser beam shooting out of her who-ha and that feeling slipped right the heck away.
We drove down a narrow street- lined on one side by small, squat storefronts, most of which didn't seem to have any windows, and the other side a graffiti-covered retaining wall. I momentarily wondered what it was hiding behind it until we slowed suddenly and turned into an open gate and drove behind said retaining wall.
And the dominant thought that broke through right then was- a chainlink fence was climbable, a retaining wall wasn't.
Once the gate closed, I wasn't getting back out.
Luckily, it didn't seem to be some high-functioning operation because no one was manning the gates and the two men I saw on the grounds were standing in a corner smoking. They didn't even look up when we pulled in.
My heart went into my throat as the car stopped and the passenger went inside without even looking back. Albert got out of his side and moved around the hood to, I assume, come get me. But the guy in the driver was still there.
The doors were unlocked.
And, without even really being conscious of coming up with the idea, I wedged my arm between the door and driver's seat, grabbed the seat pull, and shoved my feet against the back of his seat. He crashed into the steering wheel with a curse as I flew to the other side of the backseat where Albert had been sitting, grabbed the handle, and jumped outside.
I didn't look to see if I was being followed.
I didn't let myself think that it was a shitty town and anything could happen to me out there too.
I just ran.
I tore through the gates and hit the street, my pulse slamming in my ears, so hard that I didn't hear the footsteps behind me.
I had no warning before the hands grabbed my waist from behind just as I reached the end of the winding retaining wall- just a breath away from a chance of freedom.
"Don't fight," a newly familiar voice said a newly familiar phrase. And, well, I wasn't exactly going to do what I was told, was I? I kicked up and tried to break free, clawing at the arms holding me. I sucked in a breath to scream only to have a hand clamp around my mouth. "Sweetheart, stop," he said, not even the slightest bit out of breath as I suddenly felt myself pulled backward.
But the further he dragged me backward, the more I fought- scratching, clawing, biting, throwing my body weight as far as his tight hold would allow.
I didn't even stop when I was pulled inside the gates and heard them slam behind me, as I was dragged up toward the building I hadn't even been aware of before- low and windowless, looking just as abandoned as many of the others we had passed on the way in. But judging by the small group of men standing in the doorway, it just looked empty for appearances sake, likely to keep the cops from snooping around.
"You stupid fucking cunt," the driver hissed as we got closer, rubbing his chest that had to have been bruised from the collision with the steering wheel. "I can't fucking wait to make you pay for that. Show you what I had planned to do before your little boyfriend saved your ass last time. In fact, me and all the boys here would prolly like a..."