She gives her head a little shake. “But that’s not fair to you.”
“I know. Which is why it’s my turn to ask for somethin’.”
She swallows, eyes bouncing between mine. “Okay.”
“I understand where you’re comin’ from. But I’m not entirely convinced you wantin’ happily ever after is what’s to blame for you feeling so trapped.”
She pulls her brows together. “Why do you say that?”
“Maybe you just been with the wrong guys. Ever think that why you had to try so hard was because you were forcin’ a square peg into a round hole? Those guys weren’t right for you. For whatever reason, you clearly didn’t feel comfortable with them. But if you did find the right guy—if you found someone who made you feel adored without condition—maybe you would feel comfortable enough to just be yourself. You wouldn’t have to hide. You could just be you, and you could have great sex, and you wouldn’t feel so smothered. Whether forever was on the table or not.”
Her brows are practically a single line now. She’s thinking.
After a beat, she scoffs. “You know, I’ve never thought about it like that. Really, Luke, that’s an incredibly insightful idea.”
“We all get lost inside our own heads sometimes,” I say with a shrug. “That’s all I’m askin’—while we’re hooking up, I just want you to think about us becoming more at some point.”
She blinks, mouth falling open in surprise. “So you’re saying yes?”
“To gettin’ naked with you?” I smirk. “Twist my arm. Hell yeah I’m saying yes. But on one condition. Just keep an open mind about a relationship. Let’s revisit the idea as things progress.”
“If they progress.”
“When.” I lean in a little closer. Close enough that I can see the warm specks of amber in her eyes. “When they progress. Promise me, Grace.”
She lets out a breath. Forehead creased as she nervously tugs her bottom lip between her teeth.
“I don’t know, Luke. I don’t want either of us getting hurt. We want different things here. If you’re looking for forever…I can’t promise you that.”
I search her eyes. To her credit, she doesn’t look away.
“I know what I’m signing up for. I say we give your idea a try. If something more comes out of it—great. If not, we can cross that bridge when we get there.” I tilt my head, glancing at her mouth. “I wanna do this with you, Gracie. I promise I’ll make it good for you. All I ask in return is that you don’t shut me out. Just promise me you won’t do that, and we got a deal.”
Her eyes narrow thoughtfully as she continues to worry her lip. Looks away, over my shoulder. Looks back, turning her head a little so she’s looking at me from the corner of her eye.
“I promise,” she says at last, and I feel a heady leap of excitement. “I’ll try to keep an open mind. And I’ll try to be open with you in general about what I’m feeling and what’s going on inside my head.”
“Good. ’Cause you got another thing comin’ if you think this is gonna be a one-time only deal.”
Her eyes are still uncertain. But her lips quirk in this sexy little grin. “Whoever said it’d be just one time? I said fantasies, didn’t I? That’s plural. As in there are quite a few things on my list I’d like to try.”
My cock rages.
Mind goes blank. Literally blank. Flat lining.
I swear I even lose my vision for a second.
Is it the apocalypse? Have I somehow fallen into a Bird Box-themed alternate reality where I’ve been blindfolded and I can’t take the damn thing off because I will immediately die?
Is my dick really so hard it made me black out?
Is such a thing even possible? I feel like if anyone would know the answer to that question, it’d be me.
I tighten my grip on the railing. The sensation brings me back to earth. My vision returns, thank Jesus.
“I assume this list is different from the one you talked about the other night?” I say, voice low.
Gracie nods. “Oh yeah. This is a—well, a sexual list, I guess.”
I make a noise. Somewhere between a growl and a groan.
She searches my face.
“Hey. Hey, Luke, are you okay?”
“Stop distracting me,” I growl. “The sexual list. Explain. Now.”
“Are you having a seizure? I feel like the inability to speak in complete sentences is a—”
“God damn it, Gracie, if you don’t tell me about this…this sexual bucket list thing of yours right now, I’m gonna fling myself over this railing.”
Her eyes move to my crotch. “I imagine that would be hard to do with me standing here.”
“Don’t fuck with me,” I say. “Talk.”
“I never thought about it as a sexual bucket list. But I guess in a way it is.” She glances at the cute couple, complete with Goldendoodle trotting merrily beside a double stroller, that passes us on the right. “We should probably talk about this somewhere else.”