“Th-thank you.” I blush. I don’t know what else to say. No one’s ever told me something like that, unwavering, right to my face before.
His smile is soft this time, a real one that reaches his eyes. “You’re welcome.” He glances down to my lap, where I’m wringing my hands, and he takes hold of them in his, the sheer size of them engulfing mine and making them look like a child’s. “Ms. Richards… Evelyn. Can I call you Evelyn when we’re outside of school?” he interrupts himself to ask politely, and it’s so against his normal character of doing as he pleases that I squeak out a reply before thinking about the consequences.
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
He chuckles, the sound making my veins vibrate beneath my skin. “Awesome.” The use of the word reminds me that even though he’s a huge, intimidating, sometimes threatening man, he’s also just an eighteen-year-old with a past I really know nothing about. “Evelyn, what I want from you, in exchange for keeping your little secret—” I swallow as he lowers his head but looks up at me from beneath his thick eyebrows. “—is for you to teach me everything you know about Dominance.”
I shake my head shallowly, my brow furrowing in worry. “I… I told you, I don’t know anything about that. I’m… I’m a submissive,” I admit out loud, and my heart gives a little flutter at saying the words openly to someone outside the club. “I’m on the total opposite end of the spectrum. I don’t… understand a Dominant’s need for control. I can’t teach you anything about that. I’m… I’m programmed with the contrary. I hate control. I despise it. It’s the bane of my existence, having to make decisions day in and day out.” I’m trembling, and suddenly I’m word vomiting everything I’ve only ever told one other person in the whole world, my therapist.
And Nate just holds my hands tighter, narrowing his eyes and taking it all in. No longer threatening. He’s absorbing every word out of my mouth, his grip on me keeping me grounded, so I keep going.
“A Dominant…” I shake my head, trying to find the right words. “A Dominant is like the yin to my yang, my other half, the perfect opposite. Everything that I hate, that makes me anxious, that makes me panic, has the opposite effect on them. Control of situations, being a leader, having people rely on you, mastering a scene—”
“A scene. What does that mean exactly? I heard you and the other girl talking about a scene at the club,” he asks, and he has his studious face on, the one I’ve seen him wear in classrooms I’ve come by when dropping off books and media needed for a teacher’s lesson. It’s like he’s zeroed in on what’s being taught, taking it in, pulling it apart and learning all its parts at a quantum level inside his mind. This is why he’s so brilliant, why he’s the top of his class and not just popular and athletic.
For some reason, it makes me relax a little. This question… I can answer this. I live for this. I know this like I know where every single book in my personal library is placed.
“That’s what we call it when we’re at the club and we act out a pre-planned… well, scene, or scenario. From the moment we begin the… sexual activity—” I flush hotly, looking away from his eyes and down at our hands still joined against the tops of my thighs. “—until we reach completion, that’s the scene. And then a…” My eyes widen and I look up, realization hitting me. I do know something about Dominants I can tell him. “And then a good Dominant treats his submissive to what is called aftercare.”
His head tilts to the side, and I have to admit the look is adorable. “Aftercare,” he echoes. “I assume that’s the care he’d give you after the scene is complete. As in, what? Cleaning up? Redressing you?”
I give him a shy half smile. “Yes and no. The first part, yes. But it’s more… Hm. Let’s see. It’s hard to explain in words. This is the first time I’ve ever tried to describe it to anyone.”
“Take your time, Evelyn. I want to learn,” he urges, and the way he’s looking at me does something electrical to my blood.
I nod. “Okay, well. I need to go back a little further then. During a scene, if the Dominant is skilled in what he does, then it’s not just like any old sex. It’s not just… wham, bam, thank you, ma’am, you both get an orgasm if you’re lucky, and you’re done with it.” I shake my head and then close my eyes, hating how awkward I am.
He pulls me out of my self-deprecating thoughts with a squeeze to my hands, making me meet his gaze once more. “Good, all right. It’s not normal fucking. Then what’s it like?”