“You mean you actually expected her to accept what you said right off the bat? We have bloodthirsty criminals breathing down our backs left and right, and then we have to throw shit on her. I can’t even imagine what she is thinking right now,” I growl out in frustration. I don’t want to be too loud, but I need to let some of the aggression out. Killing John did nothing for me, and that part frustrates me more than anything. I thought it would make me feel better, happier… bring me peace. Instead, it made me feel worse… even if he did deserve to die.
Shrugging his shoulders, he takes the empty seat on the leather couch across from me. “No. I just got off the phone with my dad, and he wants to meet her badly. I told him we found her… More like she found us, but that’s beside the point. I think my dad can point us in the direction of where to find Mack.”
Stretching my legs out, I settle further into the couch. Another slam back of whiskey, another feeling escaping.
“I just feel…” I’m not even sure where to start or why the fuck I’m pouring my soul out to Jared. He doesn’t care.
A smirk pulls at his lips. “We both know what you feel. There isn’t anything you can do to change it. I know your emotions are conflicted, but you need to give her some time. We need to let her go through everything, so she’s strong enough to carry on when the time comes.” Is he already sticking up for her in a brotherly way?
“Already pulling out the brother card, huh?” I laugh.
Grinning, he shakes his head. “Nah. But if you break her heart, I will probably break your face. How’s that for the brotherly card?” His comment sends a spiral of happiness within me. Amara may have lost so much, but she gained something as well. It might not make her feel better right now, but it will eventually.
Jared, a person who would be a better brother to her than anyone I knew. James, a father who would claim her as his own. And me—a man, who against all odds, has opened his heart to love.
“I would love to see you try and break my face,” I taunt, knowing very well even Jared wouldn’t be able to take me down.
Rolling his eyes like a girl, he laughs. “Whatever. That’s not the point, asshole. The point is you know we lost my mom. It has only ever been my dad and me, and I don’t want to go into pussy foot country and spill my guts to you, but to have someone else is just... exhilarating. For the first time in years, my dad is moving around again. He’s coming here to see her, and though the truth was a damnation to her, it was a joy to us.”
The faraway look in his eyes tells me he’s going back there. I know the look. I’ve endured it many times. He lost his mother, too. Not to the same fate I had, but that doesn’t matter. Loss is loss.
“It’s okay, Jared.” I try to sound convincing, but he knows when to call my bluff, and there is no better time to do so than now. I’m a hypocrite. I know it. I tell people to move on from their own problems while I still boil in my own.
“Just make sure she’s okay enough to talk later,” he says, blinking slowly as if he’s trying to bring himself back to the present. He can’t still blame himself for her death. He was just a kid.
“It wasn’t your fault, Jared,” I blurt out, surprising even myself. I never stepped into the arena with him. I never tried to be the friend he needed. Turning on his heels, I see a deep anger rooted in his eyes.
Clenching his teeth, he says forcefully, “Take your own advice, Enzo. Don’t try to tell me how to handle my shit when you’re barely getting by with your own struggle.”
I let him walk away, down the hall to his room, leaving me to sit in the emptiness to think about all the fucked up choices I have made. Funny, when you’re alone, your mind tends to wander. I started to wonder if everything would come out okay, if we all would get our happily ever after, or if we all were headed down the road to war. Only time will tell.Hours pass as I continue to sit in the chair across from the bed, watching her sleep. She has been sleeping a lot since we got her back. Her body is worn and tired, her breaths deep, and her chest rising and falling in rhythm with my own beating heart. This moment takes me back to the very last time we had sex—when we were on good terms. How I awoke her from a very similar position.