Something for the Pain (Pain 2)

Walking up behind Tripp, I pull her away from Memphis and bury her against my chest. “It’s okay, baby. Let it out.”

“I miss her. I miss seeing you two together.” She sniffles and wipes her face across my shirt. “You were always so happy when you were with her . . . and Memphis.” She starts crying harder. “He didn’t even get to be there for her last days. I don’t know . . . It’s just hitting me hard. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t ever be sorry for crying for my family. Don’t ever be ashamed to cry in front of me. I want to see every side of you. I want it all,” I say, being completely honest, and hoping that she doesn’t figure out in which way I mean that.

She looks up from my chest a few seconds later and reaches out to wipe away my single tear. She’s bawling her eyes out, yet she’s worried about my one tear over her face that is now pouring enough to create a puddle.

Fuuuck . . . I love you. I’m in fucking love with you.

I want to say it aloud so damn bad, but stop myself before I do. She’s already emotional enough, and I can’t bear the thought of adding to it.

“Can we sit here for a while?”

I lean in and kiss under both of her wet eyes. “Absolutely.”

Sitting down, I pull her down with me, positioning her between my legs and wrapping my arms around her. She leans her head back on my shoulder and we sit like this for a while, not speaking. We don’t need to in this moment.

Memphis and Lyric stand beside us, holding each other for as long as they can before they have to say goodbye. Lyric makes sure to give me that look, before jumping into Memphis’ car and driving off.

Tripp and I stay for another hour, just holding each other and remembering the good times. In this moment I love this woman more than the world. Even if I don’t ever tell her I’m going to hold onto this feeling, in this exact moment, for the rest of my life.

This woman has always been my something for the pain, and losing her will feel like dying . . .

AFTER LEAVING THE CEMETERY I called Dax to tell him that I wouldn’t be making it into work today. It’s the first time that I’ve called off, and I honestly don’t regret it. Dax has worked my ass off over the last week and I deserve a little time off, dammit. I want my time with Alex, especially since it could be ending soon. Alex will always come first to me and I don’t care what anyone says. Today was more than worth it.

We spent a couple of hours this morning at Tara’s house, visiting my aunt before she had to run off to work. She made sure to put Alex to work before making us her special brownies and telling us about some guy named Lance she met last week at work. She tried to pretend he was nobody special, but she let it slip that she’s hoping he noticed her new and hip haircut.

Alex made sure to compliment her about fifteen times on her new do before we left, sending her off to work in the best mood I’ve possibly ever seen her in over the course of my damn life.

After leaving my aunt’s we spent the next few hours hanging out in Alex’s room while he sat back on his special chair and played the guitar, singing random songs that I would yell out at him. Watching him play brought a smile to my face, reminding me of a time before things got complicated. He looked so happy and at peace sitting there with that guitar in his arms that I never wanted to pull him out of the zone he was in; but of course, in typical Alex fashion, when he noticed me getting tired he pulled me onto his bed, buried me into his chest, and we both somehow fell asleep while talking about his mom and brother back when things were happy and good. It made me sad to never get to see them that way.

It’s now well past six and I wake up to an empty bed, feeling somewhat lost that Alex somehow managed to slip away from me. Apparently . . . it’s that easy. That reminder is unsettling.

I sit up and run my hands over my face, before groaning when a sick feeling hits me. I always feel like crap after waking from a nap. It’s like the little bit of sleep that I get is just a tease for my body and now my body is being a bitch about it. It’s such a shitty feeling.

Not knowing where Alex is, I hop out of bed and walk into the bathroom to find him completely naked and sitting in the tub. It’s filled with very little water, not leaving much to the imagination.

His muscles are flexed, his tattooed flesh dripping with water as he leans back with his arms resting on the sides of the tub.

In this moment he’s so damn sexy that I’m at a complete loss for words. I’ve never seen something so damn beautiful in my life, and all I can think about is him fucking me, slow and deep in that tub, and not stopping until we’re both out of breath and unable to move.

Why does he have to be so tempting? Mmm . . . I want him so damn bad right now, every inch of him.

Alex pulls me out of my thoughts by sitting up and reaching for my arm, pulling me down into the hot water with him. “Come here.”

I hiss a little from the heat on my flesh as the water soaks into my clothing. “Alex . . . what are you doing?”

He manages to roll us both over until he’s hovering above me, his muscles flexing as he holds himself up. “If you’re going to watch me like that . . . then you better be prepared to get wet.”

He sucks my bottom lip into his mouth and gently bites it. I close my eyes when I feel his hand grip my thigh and squeeze. “You love me getting you wet? Don’t you, babe?”

Moaning, I nod my head and close my eyes again when I feel his fingers move across my clit. It feels like heaven. Everything he does feels too good to be true. “Alex don’t . . .” He starts moving faster, causing me to shake below him, and trying to get a grip before I—“I’m going to come if you don’t . . . Ahhh . . . Alex . . . ahhhhhh.”

He smiles in satisfaction as I come undone below him, digging my nails into his bare flesh. “Fuck yes. I could listen to that sound every day for the rest of my life.”

His face takes on a dark expression, as if he just said something that he didn’t mean to, before he runs his hands over his face and stands up to reach for a towel. “I should get dressed and start setting the back yard up for the party.”

I nod my head, fighting to catch my breath as I watch his muscles flex with each move that he makes while he wraps the towel tightly around his waist. “Yeah . . . okay. That’s a good idea. I’ll be down in a bit.”

“No rush, babe. I have to run to the store anyways.” His eyes roam over my wet body once, before stopping on my tits. He runs his tongue over his lips, wetting them. “Shit . . .”