Subconsciously, that thought remained with me even after we grew up. That’s why even before I recognized you, I wanted to keep you for myself, hide you for myself, and just be with you.
It’s an unhealthy obsession, I know, but aren’t all the best people flawed in some way? Aren’t we all imperfect somehow?
I know I am, because even after my vow to let you go, I can’t stop thinking about you, dreaming about you, and even your fucking cats. I hate that they have you and I don’t. I have issues, I know. Don’t tell my therapist when he starts existing.
Anyhow, this long-winded unnecessary letter is for the sole purpose of telling you that you matter even without a family; even without anything, you matter more than you’ll ever know.
You mattered since you were little Joe. You gave purpose to my life since you were a child and that only heightened when you grew up.
Now that you’re gone, my life has no meaning anymore.
I love you, my little Petal.
You’re the only one who made me feel like life can be more than killing and existing for my next dose of blood.
Don’t forget me and don’t even think about taking a husband or a boyfriend or any fucking human company. The cats are all I approve of.Jasper26GeorginaMy legs are shaking as I step into the dark house. It’s empty. I found Angelo outside, but he said everyone else is at a bonfire tonight.
I haven’t been able to stop shaking since I read Jasper’s letter that Enzo gave me. It wasn’t only the letter, but also the bouquet of daisies he sent with them.
The next thing I knew, I was on a plane and heading to Sicily.
All the way here, I’ve been re-reading the letter over and over again, trying not to cry and failing.
His words hit me so deeply. I was already missing him until I thought I was going crazy and then he had to write those words.
He had to rip my heart out. Or maybe it’s been ripped out since I left Sicily that day. Maybe my heart has stayed here since then.
I climb the stairs so fast; I nearly fall on my face.
When I reach the bedroom — our bedroom — I stop in front of the door to catch my breath.
I flew here in my pants suit. I tried freshening up in the plane, but the long flight and all the crying must make me look like a cat lady on drugs.
Inhaling deep, I push the door open. There’s soft light on in the room, but there’s no trace of him.
It’s rare for Jasper to miss the bonfires and festivals. He doesn’t really like them, but he always makes sure to be there for everyone else. Although he doesn’t say it out loud, Jasper considers everyone here a second chance given to him after losing his family.
My breath catches when I realize he didn’t change anything about the bedroom. Even the small pillows I brought in so the cats can play on are still here.
It’s almost as if I’m still here.
I’m about to check the balcony when I notice droplets of blood on the carpet, leading to the bathroom.
No.
No, no…
I let my bag fall to the floor and run toward the bathroom. “Jasper —”
My voice cuts off when I make out his form. He’s standing in front of the sink, wearing only pants and bandaging his hand in sloppy movements.
The moment I walk inside, he freezes and watches me with slightly widened eyes. “Petal? Are you real?”
I jog to him and clutch his hand in mine. “What happened? Are you okay?”
His good hand cradles my cheek and I stare up at him with tears blurring my vision. I stare at his handsome face, at those icy blue eyes and those lips.
God, I missed him. I missed him so much, it hurt.
“You are real,” he says with awe.
“What happened to your hand, Jasper?” I ask again, my throat closing.
“Nothing. It’s just a cut.”
I hit his shoulder, a sob escaping me. “You scared the shit out of me! I thought something happened to you after I’ve finally found you. I thought I was going to lose you. You can’t make me miss you to death, write me letters like that and then get hurt, okay? You just can’t.”
He places two fingers under my chin and lifts my head up so I’m staring at him. “Does that mean you came here to stay?”
“Do I even have a choice?” I place his half-bandaged hand on my heart. “This beats for you, Jasper. I love you so much; I can’t breathe without you.”
Pure joy explodes on his features as he palms my cheeks with his hands. “You won’t have to, Petal.”
“No?”
“No. Do you know why?”
“Why?” I murmur.
“Because you’re mine.”
“And you’re mine, Jasper.”