I called her again and as soon as I heard her answer the phone, I started singing. "When you feel like crying, just think of me." I sang softly. "When you feel like lying, just dream of me. When the whole world feels like it's crashing, remember me. Call me when you need me. Need me when you can't be, alone." I could hear her breathing softly into the phone as I sang the friendship song she had created for me for my 17th birthday. I'd pretended to be embarrassed as she'd sung it to me. She'd been so earnest and adorable and I'd been so macho and untouchable. I had rolled my eyes and pretended that I thought it was sappy and totally girly, but it had meant the world to me. I'd thought of the song many times, even in my darkest hours, and it always comforted me.
"You can't sing." She said softly and I smiled. She was coming around.
"I'm going to come and pick you up and we'll come back here."
"We're too old for sleepovers, Rhett."
"We're never too old, Wendy." I joked and she laughed gently. “And anyway, its day time, so it’s not a sleepover.”
"You're always going to be my Peter Pan, aren't you?" Her voice was soft and slightly jaded.
"As long as you'll have me." I whispered back, my heart feeling empty. Clementine had always compared me to a lost boy and I understood why. It was because I'd felt abandoned by my parents and I knew the emotional part of me had never really grown up. I'd never gotten over my childhood traumas. Even with Clementine’s family in my life. Even with everything else that I had, I'd never understood why my parents hadn't cared.
"I'm always here for you, Rhett." She sighed. "That's the problem."
"What does that mean?" I paused, my heart stilling. Her voice sounded resigned and a part of me felt like everything was changing around me and I had no control to stop it.
"Nothing," she sighed. "Just come and pick me up."
"I..." I started and paused. I wanted to tell her that she meant the world to me. I wanted to tell her that I didn't want anything to change between us. I wanted to tell her that I wish we could go back to high school. I wish we could go back to the days where all she cared about was studying and talking to me. Those were the days when everything was perfect. Or almost perfect. I had football. I had my truck. I had the cheerleading and dance team dying to date me and I had Clementine to call and hang out with when I needed to just chill. I knew it was selfish of me to want everything to remain the same, but that was what had made me happiest.
"I'll be waiting Rhett." She said softly and then hung up. I grabbed the keys to my mustang and headed over to Clemmie’s apartment.
***
"You didn't have to wait outside." I frowned as Clementine jumped into the car as soon as I pulled over. "I would have come to the door." I looked over at her tired face as she got into the car.
"I didn't want Linda to know you were here." She shrugged and did her seatbelt up without looking at me. The air felt awkward between us and it wondered if I'd ruined everything by kissing her again.
"She'll get over me." I muttered as I pulled away from the curb.
"It's not so easy for everyone to get over someone they have a crush on." She muttered under her breath and I laughed.
"There is no reason for her to have a crush on me.” I sighed. “I’ve never given her any reason.” Unlike Penelope, I thought to myself and frowned.
"You're mean." She sighed and then giggled slightly.
"Are you mad at me?"
"What do you think?" She snapped and finally looked at me.
"Are you mad at me for kissing you or are you upset because you and Elliott broke up?"
"I don't understand what's going on." She spoke softly and I felt myself tensing up. "I don't get why you kissed me. I don't know why you were upset about Elliott."
"I wasn't upset." I protested too loudly.
"Penelope thinks you were jealous." She continued and sighed.
"Jealous of what?" I turned onto my street. I could feel myself growing angry and worried. What else had Penelope said? "I wish Penelope would just shut up and keep her thoughts to herself."
"Rhett," her voice was angry. "Penelope is my friend."
"She's not your best friend." I sighed. "She's never liked me. It's obvious to me that she doesn't want me in your life."
"She does like you." She sighed.
"I don't care about her. I don't want to talk about her. I want to talk about us. I want to talk about why you've been ignoring me. I want to talk about what's going on." I shouted feeling angry. "And I'm pissed that I sound like a little pu**y wanting to talk about anything."
"Rhett," she touched my arm. "Are you okay?" Her voice was soft and I gave her a quick glance. I saw concern in her face and I felt a part of me softening. Even after everything that had happened, she was still worried about me. It made me angry. I wanted her to harden up. I wanted her to tell me to f**k off. I wanted her to tell me that she'd had enough. I wanted to see her turn her back on me. I wanted it and didn't want it at the same time. A part of me wanted it because it would prove to me once and for all that nothing was forever. Not love and not friendships.
"I'm fine." I growled and moved my arm away from her. I didn't want her touching me. I didn't want her concern. I wanted so much more from her. My body craved carnal knowledge of her, even though my brain told me that it would be a mistake.
"I can't believe you're angry at me." She sighed. "It's me that should be upset."
"Can't we just forget all of it?" I sighed. "Let's go home and watch a movie and forget everything."
"That's fine by me." She shrugged and a part of me relaxed. Everything would be okay if we could just forget everything that had happened recently.
"So you wanna watch a movie?" I pulled up to my house and she smiled at me hesitantly.
"Yeah." She nodded. "Chick flick?"
"Hell no." We both laughed as I shook my head.
“Fine.” She sighed and I looked at her carefully. I could see the traces of tears in her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I frowned as I turned off the engine and turned to her. “Why are you crying? Are you upset because of Elliott?”
“No.” She shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing.” She looked away from me.
“What happened, Clementine?”
“He tried to tell me we couldn’t be friends.” She sighed. “When we left the truck show, he told me I had to pick between you and him. Then he tried to touch me.”
“What?” I frowned. “Where the f**k is he right now?”
“It’s okay, Rhett.” She grabbed my arm. “He tried, but I didn’t let him.”
“Where did he try to touch you?” I growled, feeling angrier than I’d ever felt.
“On my breasts.” She bit her lower lip. “He said he wanted to play with my tits and do something else.” Her voice dropped.
“Do what?” My eyes narrowed.
“I don’t wanna say.” She shook her head.
“Clementine, tell me.” I took a deep breath, imagining what he had said.
“He said he wanted to titty f**k me.” She whispered and I froze. I wasn’t sure what to say. I was furious, but I felt like a hypocrite. How could I get angry at what he had tried to do, when I had technically titty f**ked her friend the previous evening. It wasn’t like I was any better than him. Maybe even worse. He actually liked Clementine. I couldn’t give two f**ks about Penelope.
“Say something, Rhett.” She groaned and I looked up at her red face.
“Sorry, I was just thinking.” I sighed. “He’s a pig and you’re better off without him. Let’s go inside, okay.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “I can’t believe how different he was.”
“What do you mean?” I asked her as we walked into my house.
“He seemed so nice, like he liked me, but all he cared about was sex.”
“What can I say?” I shrugged, not wanting to tell her that was basically every guy. I didn’t want to give her any excuse to go back to him. “He was a jerk.”
“Yeah he was.” She frowned. “I’m so pissed at myself. I can’t believe I treated you like shit and he was such an asshole.”
“It’s okay.” I rubbed her hair. “All’s forgiven.”
“I’m so glad you’re not like him.” She shuddered. “You would never pretend to be into a girl, just to get laid. You’re straight up about it from the beginning.”
“Well, I don’t sleep around that much.” I frowned.
“I know.” She smiled at hooked my arm. “What movie do you want to watch?”
“I don’t know. Let’s see what’s out.” I opened the front door. “Bedroom or living room?”
“Let’s go to the bed.” She smiled. “I didn’t sleep well last night, so I want to relax.”
“Sounds good.” I nodded and we walked to my room. “Could you imagine if Elliott could see us now?” I laughed. “He’d go crazy.”
“Penelope as well.” She laughed. “She doesn’t think it’s healthy that we’re so close.”
“Oh, have you heard from her?” I kept my voice light.
“Not since yesterday.” She shrugged. “Why?”
“No reason.” I shook my head and we hopped onto the bed. “Okay, let’s see what we have.” I turned Netflix on my TV and flicked through movies. “Okies, what about a comedy?”
“That’s fine.” She jumped off of the bed and I watched as she walked to my closet. “Hey, can I borrow a t-shirt?” She glanced at me as she opened the door. “I’m not super comfortable in these jeans and tank top.” She grinned at me and I nodded. “Thanks.” She pulled a white t-shirt out and I watched her as she undid her jeans. “Turn around, Rhett.”
“Okay.” I turned towards the TV, but I couldn’t concentrate. All I could think about was that Clementine was taking her clothes off in my room. It had never felt like this before. I’d never felt so tense and stiff. All of a sudden, it didn’t seem so innocent any more.
“Oh this is much better.” Clementine spoke and I turned to look at her. I froze as she walked towards me and jumped on the bed. I wasn’t sure if she realized it, but I could see her ni**les clearly through my white t-shirt. Her br**sts bounced as she moved and I groaned inwardly as my t-shirt rode up her legs as she settled onto the bed.
“Well, you look comfortable.” I smiled at her gently and turned back to the TV.
“I am.” She relaxed back into the bed. “We need to spend more days like this.” She squirmed on the bed as she got comfortable. “I miss the days when we just used to lie in bed and watch TV all day.”
“Yeah, me too.” I nodded and shifted as I felt myself hardening.
“Are you going to change as well?” She asked innocently as she poked me in the back.
“Of course.” I jumped up and pulled my sweater and jeans off and sat back on the bed in just my boxer shorts.
“Ooh, sexy.” She giggled and I smiled at her weakly.
“Okay, let’s see what’s on.” I flicked through and she squealed.
“Ooh stop.”
“What?” I frowned and looked back at her.
“I heard that movie Nine and a Half Weeks was good.”
“You want to watch Nine and a Half Weeks?” I sighed. I was in no mood to watch a sexy movie.
“Yeah. Let’s start with that one.”
“Okay then.” I pressed play and sat back on the bed next to her. We sat next to each other, shoulders pressed together as we watched the movie. Everything was going well until the first sex scene.
“Oh wow, hot.” Clementine squirmed on the bed.
“We can change it if you want.”
“No, it’s fine.” She whispered and lay back. I sighed and sat stiffly and continued watching the movie. “Wow,” Clementine turned to look at me. “This movie is dirtier than I thought.”
“Yeah, it’s almost a porno.” I agreed and lay down so I could look at her properly.
“You know what I was thinking about this morning?” She spoke softly and I shook my head.
“No, what?”
“I was wondering what would have happened if I’d let Elliott go down on me.”
“Really?” I frowned and looked into her eyes. “Trust me, he wasn’t worth it.”
“I didn’t necessarily want him.” She blushed. “I just wanted to see what it felt like.”
“I see.” I frowned and shifted. What was she doing to me?
“Does that sound bad?” She wrinkled her nose and I smiled at her.
“Of course not.”
“Okay good.” She bit her lower lip and then looked back at the TV screen. I continued to stare at her and I could tell that she was thinking about something, not related to the movie.
“What are you thinking, Clemmie?”
“What do you mean?” She looked at me and blushed.
“I know you’re thinking something.” I gave her a look.