Chapter Six
Clementine
And all that we’ve been through
Don’t leave me
I won’t leave you
And all that we’ve been through
Be with me
I’ll shelter you
“Shelter” by David Berkeley- The Fire in My Head
“I’ll miss you guys.” Tomas gave me a quick hug before turning to Rhett. “Y’all have to come back home soon.”
“Yeah, we’re going to come for Thanksgiving and Christmas.” Rhett spoke up and I could feel my stomach churning. What was he talking about? I hadn’t been planning on going home for Thanksgiving as I had to study for finals.
“Okay great.” Tomas grabbed his bag. “I can’t wait. I better go as the taxi’s waiting for me.”
“Have a great flight back, Tomas.” I smiled at him. “I enjoyed having you here. Give Jake a big hug for me and tell him he needs to get his ass up here soon.”
“Will do, Clemmie.” He rubbed the top of my head. “Thanks for having me guys.”
“Bye.” Rhett gave him a slap on the shoulder. “Stay safe, bro.”
“You too.” Tomas walked out of the door, flashed another smile and left.
“I’ll miss his crazy ass.” Rhett said after closing the door.
“I’m just glad he’s not here to take you to strip-clubs every weekend.” I smiled at him and he laughed in response. We both stood there for a few seconds awkwardly and I sighed. “We should talk.” I bit my lower lip nervously. I didn’t want to have this conversation. At all.
“Yeah.” He nodded and looked at me with a sad face. His expression made my heart stop and I walked to the couch.
“So,” I started, but my voice cracked and I didn’t know what to say.
“So,” He said and we sat down on the couch.
“About the other day.” I took a deep breath. “I want to apologize.”
“What happened the other day?” He frowned.
“The day we were in the park.” I smiled. “I shouldn’t have blamed you for us getting caught or for us having sex in the park. I think I was just stressed and worried and still in shock.”
“It’s okay.” He nodded. “I understand Clemmie. And I should apologize as well. I’m the one that convinced you that the park would be safe.”
“You’d try and convince me of any and everything, Rhett.” I laughed and stared at him. “You’ve got a way with words.”
“Well you know.” He grinned and winked at me.
“But after that, when we were arguing, we said some things.” I frowned. “I think we should talk about them.”
“Talk about what?” He frowned.
“Just what’s going on between us?” I made a face. “I know this isn’t what either one of us was expecting.”
“What do you mean?” His expression changed and he looked worried.
“You know what I mean, Rhett.” I sighed. “I know you stop yourself from telling me stuff now. I know that this is different for both of us.”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
“No.” I shook my head. “But I’m scared Rhett. Everything was so easy between us and now, well now...” My voice trailed off and we just stared at each other.
“No one said it would be this hard, did they?” He half-laughed. “I don’t know why it’s this hard. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Maybe I’m not cut out for relationships.”
“Rhett, I think both of us need to adjust our expectations of what this relationship should be like.”
“I’m not the boyfriend you’ve always dreamed of having, am I?” He looked sad. “I wish I was that guy, but I have a past, Clemmie.”
“It has nothing to do with your past, Rhett.” I shook my head. “I knew about your past. I just expected a bit more romance.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean romance, not just sex.” I looked at his confused expression. “I know that you might not understand. I just don’t know how to explain this to you.” I mumbled. How could I tell him that I thought he used sex to solve everything? How could I tell him that I felt like he wasn’t truly giving himself to me? How could I tell him that I wanted him to woo me, and that I wanted to feel his deep devotion on a daily basis. How could I tell him that I didn’t feel like his girlfriend, but more like his best friend with benefits? I was scared to tell him. I was scared that he would respond badly. I didn’t know how he would respond because he’d never been in a real relationship before. I knew that he wasn’t emotionally equipped for conversations like this and I didn’t know how to approach the topic.
“I booked us for a class.” He spoke up and grabbed my hands, his blue eyes light and unsure.
“What?” I frowned. “What class?”
“A relationship class.” He gave me a half-smile. “Don’t look so shocked.” He stroked my face. “I saw it in the newspaper the other day. I thought it could help us.”
“So you’ve been worried about us as well?” I felt hurt, though I knew I was being irrational.
“I’ve been worried that you’re going to leave me.” He looked away. “I know that I use sex to make things better and I know that at the end of the day, sex is not going to be enough. I know you need more from me than I’m currently giving. I don’t want you to leave me, Clementine.”