“By the time I finally said something it was too late. Your mother was in deep. She fell in love with the power and there was nothing left for me. She filed for divorce the day after I gave her an ultimatum. We didn’t talk for several years. After about ten years we ran into each other and she just sucked me back in. I was married with kids and I didn’t care. I’ve always wanted your mother, I still do. She has this hold on me like she has with everyone. She gets off on it.” He paused to take a breath.
“I agreed to give her a child, praying, and hoping that it would somehow change her. That she would take one look at you and be the person that I once knew, but it backfired. She became worse. I swear to you that if I had known that this would have been your future…I would have never gone through with it.”
He sighed. “She used me, Lilith, just like she uses everyone.”
I stared at him, wanting to know more. I needed to know more.
“What kills me the most is that every time I see you, you look more and more like her. It breaks my heart and that’s why I have stayed away from you these last few years. My worst nightmare is that you will become her spitting image, or worse. Power and control is a very fascinating concept, it changes people, and you’re in the heart of it all. There’s a very, very fine line and once you cross it, there’s no turning back. Your mother tasted it and she wanted more, she still does. I have to live with the fact that I was a part of creating you, and now I just have to stand back and watch until you step into the very shoes that she did.” He pulled out his wallet and slapped a few bills on the table.
“I love you. I wish I had done right by you. I can’t change the past any more than I can the future.” He sighed, kissed my forehead, and left.
“Oh, here, this is for you,” said the waitress, pulling me from the twilight zone I was in. She handed me a photograph. I knew where it came from. There was only one person who would have had this, and it made my day so much brighter.
After my father dropped the fucking atomic bomb that destroyed Hiroshima in my lap, I went straight to the source. I ran on pure adrenaline and emotion. I didn’t take five minutes to contemplate what I had just heard. I got in my car and drove to The Cathouse.
She looked up when I barged into her office.
“Let me call you back,” she said into the phone. “Can I help you?”
“I had lunch with Dad today,” I announced as I walked toward the window to look at the courtyard. I purposely kept my back to her, waiting for her response.
It was the same window that I had stood in numerous times as a child, waiting for my mother to pay attention to me; that was my life back then. My how things have changed.
“Oh really, it’s baffling that he would take time out of his busy schedule to see you. How is good ole Charles?” she inquired, feigning interest.
“Happy…married…in love…you know, how you use to be.” I turned to look at her face that didn’t show any emotion what so ever.
“You know, Madam, you should practice what you preach sometime. It might make you a better person, because from what I hear, you’re one selfish bitch. You should probably work on that unless you’d like to have a seat next to Satan. For some reason I think he probably already has it reserved for you,” I announced.
“Wow, nothing to say. No quick clever rebuttal? Is your mind slowing down in your old age, or is it that you don’t remember the lies that you feed me. Or wait, is it that you never planned on fucking telling me that you were once married!”
She remained speechless.
“And it’s not even the marriage that gets to me, Madam! It’s the fact that you were IN LOVE! The one thing that you have told me all these years is to never fall in love, to never give myself to someone. Love is weakness and I. Do. Not. Show. Weakness! Isn’t that it? I’m supposed to be your motherfucking prodigy and here I find out that my Madam is just another goddamn statistic!” I screamed.
“The big, almighty, powerful, bow down to me Madam is a fake, a phony.”
She crossed her arms and slowly cracked her neck. “Believe it or not, Lilith, I don’t have to explain myself to you or anyone else, and that is the beauty of being in charge. I sit at the throne, people answer to me, I am the one, and until I say so you have nothing to do but to wait in line,” she calmly spewed.
I grabbed the picture and placed it on her desk right in front of her.
“Was it a beautiful wedding? Was it everything you ever dreamt of and wished for? Did you get his and her towels, Madam?”
She picked up the photograph of their wedding day as if it was a disease-infested object and ripped it in half; not giving it one second of recognition, and threw it in the garbage.
“You still don’t get it, Lilith. I don’t give one flying fuck what you think of me. It doesn’t faze me, it doesn’t hurt me, and it most definitely doesn’t change the fact that I own you.” She stood up, grabbed her suit jacket and purse, and walked over to me.
“I have some business that needs my immediate attention. Go home and clean yourself up, you look like shit. You have a date tonight,” she said before kissing the tip of my nose and leaving.
I don’t know how long I stood there contemplating everything that had happened in the last few hours. I should have known that my mother wouldn’t answer or explain anything. That’s not who she was. All my life I wanted to be just like her, I wanted everything that she was, everything that she stood for. It took me almost a quarter of my life to realize that she was a fraud.
I would let her train me, mold me, and teach me everything I needed to know.
But...I would never be like her.
I would be better.
I walked over to the garbage and pulled out the torn photograph. I taped it up, looked at it one more time, and placed it in my back pocket.
My father was right about one thing, power and control does change people, he just forgot to include greed.
In greed we trust.
I proceeded to sit in Madam’s chair, and from that moment, I knew what I wanted.
There is a fine line between loving life and being greedy for it, and I just crossed that line. I would take VIP when I wanted to, not when I was told.
I conquered myself that day, and it was only a matter of time until I would preside over VIP.
Chapter 12
The eighties were some of the best times of my life; I was in my twenties, able, free, rich, and fucking fabulous. I enjoyed all VIP had to offer, private planes, five-star hotels, endless amounts of jewelry, countless amounts of adoration and attention. Alcohol and drugs flowed loosely everywhere I went. I didn’t know anyone who didn’t have a party favor on them at any point in time. During the mid-eighties, there was a little blue and red pill that hit the scene. Ecstasy became the miracle drug to make it all go away; problems, drama, hatred, stress…all of it gone with the swallow of one tiny pill.
There was peace, tranquility, love, unity, and sex…lots and lots of sex.
The year was 1984; I was 24 years old, and on a date with James Jones. JJ was a bit of a wild card, though that’s what I liked about him. Why be boring? It’s my worst fucking nightmare to fade into the crowd. JJ and I seemed to have that in common. He requested my presence for the entire weekend, stating he wanted to party. Like I needed a warning label, I am always down for whatever. As a VIP, we were made like that.
We were in New York City, the island of plenty.
“I have a few friends that we’re meeting up with at The Underground, is that all right?” JJ asked with excitement in his eyes.
“Of course, the more the merrier.”
We made it to The Underground club a little after midnight and the place was already packed. There were people everywhere, both men and women. Now, I had been around my fair share of fucked up people, but this crowd took the cake. I made my way to the bar and I was about to get my drink when someone tapped on my shoulder from behind.
I turned and smirked.
“Well, well,
well, lookie who I found. Isn’t this place a little out of your scene, Angel?” Mika questioned with a sexy as hell smile that made me want to sit on his face.
“And what exactly is my scene? The dungeon?” I teased.
He grabbed the back of my head moving me toward his body.
“Don’t say things like that when I feel like this, Lilith. I’m hard just thinking about it,” he whispered seductively in my ear. He wasn’t lying, I could feel his erection on my leg, but that’s not what I wanted to feel. At least not yet…
I didn’t hesitate. “What are you on?”
“Ecstasy.”
“What’s that?”
He licked his lips. “It’s anything you want it to be. Looks like I’ll be taking away those wings again tonight.” He pulled out a circular blue pill that had a pinup girl stamped on it.
He brought it up to my mouth and I gladly opened, he stopped right before he placed it on my tongue.
“Remember, Angel, if you ever get asked to choose between the red pill and the blue one,” he paused, placing it on my tongue, “always take the motherfucking blue one.” I swallowed it with no hesitation.
It took exactly thirty minutes to hit my system and it was like a tsunami of emotions, sensations, thoughts, and feelings. I had never experienced anything even remotely close to what I was feeling.
JJ stared into my eyes. “What did you take?”
“What makes you think I’m on something?” I babbled teasingly.
He shook his head laughing, which made me laugh. “Only you would get ecstasy before I had a chance to offer it. Is there anything you can’t do on your own?”
I put my finger up to my lips in a thinking motion. “No.”
He laughed again. “At least we’re both on the same page. Have you ever done this before?”
I shook my head and it made my whole body feel amazing, so I kept doing it until JJ grabbed my head.
“You are so fucked up.”
“Guilty.” I smiled enticingly.
The night progressed with dancing and talking. I don’t think I had ever talked that much in my life, but even that felt amazing. JJ would rub my shoulders and neck and it was as if I was having an out of body experience. Every part of my body had tingles and was screamingly alive. Everything around me shimmered; it was surreal. When his hands would rub the nook of my neck, I swear I felt it everywhere. Prickles and shivers down my arms, my back, and my legs.
I heard Mika’s voice from beside me as he put his arm around my body, bringing me close to him. I involuntarily put my head on his shoulder. Just the feel of his body touching mine was incredible. I didn’t care that JJ was right beside me, and I could feel all that negative energy radiating off of him.
“Who the fuck are you?” JJ shouted over the music in the club.
“Her prince charming. Who’s asking?” Mika calmly replied.
“Her date.”
“You’re dating now, Angel? Here I thought you were a bad girl. Didn’t think you’d ever go vanilla on me,” he said into my ear.
I laughed. “Boys…there’s plenty of me to go around.”
“So, JJ, you could either join, watch, or get the fuck out of the way. The choice is yours.” I watched his eyes widen at the proposition.
“Your place or mine, Mika?” he asked without hesitation.
“Most definitely mine,” he replied with the same enthusiasm.
Once we arrived at our after-hours festivities at Mika’s, things took an unexpected turn. I undressed myself slowly and provocatively before lying in the middle of the bed with my legs spread.
They both were grinning from ear to ear, Mika whispered something in JJ’s ear that I couldn’t hear, and it made him smile wider.
They both took their clothes off leaving only their boxers on. “You coming down, Angel?”
I nodded, pouting like a child. I knew how to get what I wanted.
Mika crawled over to me and kissed me from my ankle to my mouth, leaving a trail of desire and willingness in his wake. He got close to my face. I perched myself forward to try to kiss him, but he teasingly moved his head away. He grabbed the back of my thighs and roughly flipped me over, making me yelp. I was now laying on my front. He grabbed my hips and made my ass stick up in the air.
“I do believe I made you a promise, little girl, and I always keep my promises,” he threatened in a domineering, yet sexy voice that sent shivers down my spine.
JJ came up from behind him and it looked like he handed him something.
“Do you trust me?” Mika inquired with lust and determination in is voice.
“Mmm hmm,” I moaned, closing my eyes.
I felt someone bite my ass cheek and then lick toward the pucker of my anus. They pushed their tongue into my pucker and I stretched my arms out in front of me to enjoy the sensations that were to come.
“You smell like you want to be fucked, Lilith, do you want us to fuck you?” I heard JJ’s sinful tone behind me.
“Badly,” I shamelessly replied.
“We will make you feel so goddamn good, Angel. You won’t want us to stop.” Mika spread lotion on my anus and I wiggled my hips. He pushed his finger in and out, stretching me, filling me, making me feel whole.
“You will keep coming and begging for more. Every fucking part of you will be touched in more ways than one.” I whimpered at the loss of his finger, but it was replaced with two fingers pushing into my sex right toward my g-spot. I wiggled, trying to relive the ache that they were creating. I felt something being pushed into my anus. I opened my eyes and turned my head to see what was going on.
“What are you doing?” I asked with some hesitation.
“Making you a very happy girl. Ecstasy up the ass is like taking three of them orally, and it will hit your bloodstream in fifteen minutes. You’re in for a wild night, little girl.” The pill burned for a few seconds; nothing uncomfortable, just a stinging sensation. I let Mika’s words sink in, it hit the bottom of my core and I shivered in expectancy of the sensations that I was about to feel. Mika and JJ took two more each and it didn’t take the full fifteen minutes for me to be knocked on my ass.
The first pill crept slowly, this one decided to detour and went full fucking force. My whole body from the tips of my toes to my hair follicles felt tingles, like raindrops were falling on every part of me. I had intense rushing sensations and it was exhilarating. It was euphoric and I was having a full-blown body orgasm and no one was even touching me.
As I lay there, looking at the ceiling, I had full mental clarity. I had insight, a bursting holistic high; my vision was blurry, but heightened along with my tactile senses. My perception of everything around me would shift from second to second, and out of nowhere, I wanted to love and be loved. I looked over at the men whose eyes were black irises; there were no color in them. They were dilated, pulsating, and beautiful.
I smiled high from ear to ear.
“Angel, you are rolling your balls off. You have no idea what you just signed on for, little girl.” Mika’s voice intensified the tingles throughout my body, especially throughout my pussy, as I watched him leave the room.
“You ever done a Nuru massage?” JJ whispered in my ear, bringing my thoughts back to what they had in store for me.
Mika entered the bedroom with a blow up mattress and placed it on the floor next to the bed, and then placed a large bowl that looked like it had oil in it next to it.
JJ grabbed my hand and escorted me to the mattress where he laid me down in the center, my head on a makeshift pillow of a towel.
“You want us to fuck that beautiful glistening cunt, don’t you, Lilith; you’re dripping wet just waiting for it. You want us so deep in your pussy and ass that you won’t be able to walk for days, and every time you do you can still feel us there. That’s what you want…isn’t it, dirty girl?” JJ expressed to me, making me crave exactly what he was saying.
They both dipped their hands in the bowl and brought it to their bodies, sla
thering and smearing it all over their chests. The substance was thick, and honey-like.
“What is that?” I questioned as I admired their glistening, toned bodies and their rock hard cocks standing at attention.
“It’s Nuru gel, you’re next,” JJ responded.
They continued to gel every inch of their bodies until I couldn’t take it anymore and started to crawl over to them. The gel had fallen onto the mattress and it made crawling over to them a little difficult. Once I reached the edge of the mattress, I cupped my hands into the bowl and proceeded to do exactly what I just saw them do. I provocatively began at my neck and worked my way down to my breasts, making sure to caress and entice my body as I went. My eyes closed with a flutter and my hands took on a life of their own.
Chapter 13
I was in my own little world where all my senses were active and aching around me. I didn’t have to open my eyes to know that JJ and Mika were staring and stroking themselves to the vision of me applying the gel over my breasts, stomach, legs; purposely making them wait to see me touch myself where they wanted me the most. I didn’t give them what they wanted, what I wanted, I teased my lower abdomen and my inner thighs just inches away from my sex, making the build up for all of us more explosive.
I opened my eyes and it was exactly how I pictured it in my mind, they were both on their knees, stroking their cocks with excitement in their dark dilated eyes.
I grinned at them, watching the way their hands glided along their glorious cocks.
“Put on a show for me. Let me see you guys touch and kiss each other,” I requested, using the same tone that Mika had once used for Nakita and I.
“Not going to happen, Angel, but we will play with you,” he asserted, making me whimper in disappointment.