“Daisy, don’t you dare throw a temper tantrum right now. You have hundreds of dolls, you don’t need another one,” she reasoned.
“Daddy!”
“You heard your mother, baby,” he soothed.
I rolled my eyes.
This was not the time for him to be calling me that. I grunted, “I’m not a baby!”
Did they not understand how much I needed that doll? She didn't know what she was talking about. I didn't have any like her. It was so unfair.
Ken didn’t want to be with plain Barbie anymore, he wanted to be with Sparkle Barbie. She was ruining all my plans for the wedding of the year, a huge, purple, beautiful wedding. I crossed my arms and sulked the entire way through the store as she placed one stupid item after another in the cart.
Why did she get a book and I got nothing? Why couldn’t she just not buy broccoli and get me my doll? I hated broccoli, even Daddy hated broccoli. Stupid Mom. Stupid broccoli.
She never let me buy what I wanted. Daddy never told me no. Sometimes I wished she wasn’t around. That it was just my daddy and me. Life would be so much better if it was just the two of us, then Mommy couldn’t tell me what I could and couldn’t have. My daddy and I don’t need a mommy. We would do fine without her.
I watched him pull out a wad of cash to pay for our groceries. There was a lot of money; we could have definitely bought my doll. She was just being mean.
“Daddy, please…” I pleaded, tugging on the ends of his shirt.
“Baby, we can talk about it later. I have to go. Daddy is running late for a meeting. You don’t want me getting into trouble, do you?”
I could see it in his eyes, he wanted to say yes, but Mommy cocked her head to the side as if she was testing him. He looked down at me and shook his head no. He grabbed my hand as we walked out to the car, but I didn’t want to leave, I wanted my doll.
“Daddy, please,” I tried again.
“Daisy, ya no más!” Mom scolded in Spanish, “Daisy, no more.” I narrowed my eyes at her, giving her my angry face.
He buckled me into my booster in the backseat of his car. I hated that thing; I was a big girl. Daddy told me so all the time. I didn’t need to sit in a baby seat. I was six years old, but my mom said that I was still under the weight and height, so by law, I still had to ride in one. I think she was lying, there was no law—she just wanted me to sit in one. Daddy gave me a kiss on the forehead and told me he loved me and closed the door.
He rounded the corner of the car and gave Mommy a kiss on the lips, telling her he loved her before he got into the passenger seat. I didn’t want to sit behind Mommy, I wanted to sit behind Daddy. I kicked the back of her seat before she got in the car.
Daddy looked down at his watch after Mommy started driving.
“There’s no way I’m going to make this meeting.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry, Michael. I know how important this meeting was for you.”
Her car had died on our way to the grocery store, so she called Daddy to come rescue us.
“It’s my fault. I should’ve taken it in weeks ago. I’ve been so busy with this merger. I haven’t had time for anything else. It’s fine, I gave the tow truck driver our mechanic’s address.” He grabbed his phone and dialed a number. “Lesley, put me through to the board.”
“Michael, where are you?” I heard someone say through the phone.
“I’m sorry, Dale. My wife’s car broke down and I had to pick them up. I can—”
“Can you still make it?”
Mom looked over at him, nodding. Making a sharp turn that caused my body jolt to the right.
“Yes, I’m on my way now. In the meantime, let me bring you up to date on the building codes,” he began.
“Mommy, I want to stay up and wait for Daddy to come home,” I said, knowing he would have to go back to work.
“Daisy, why don’t you ever make it easy on me? Huh? You know you can’t wait up for Daddy. You have school in the morning. We will eat dinner and do bath time—”
“I don’t want a bath. I want to take a shower,” I interjected, gritting my teeth.
“Damn it, it’s starting to pour.” Mom ignored my comment.
Dad pressed a button and some lights came on.
“No, baby, bath time is easier on me,” she added. “Por favor ya no me contestes así, Please don’t talk to me like that anymore.”
“Yes, Dale. The figures need to match the proposal,” Dad kept on talking, ignoring us both.
“But I don’t want a bath.” I kicked my leg against the booster seat, hitting the back of hers. She gave me a warning look through the rearview mirror.
Why couldn’t she let me do what I wanted? I was a big girl. What was her problem? A bath and a shower were the same. They both got me clean. I stared out the window. I could barely make out the trees as we passed them. It really started to pour, and I could hear the drops coming down hard on the car.
“Oye, niña, quedate quieta,” she ordered, “Hey, little girl, quiet down. You will get a bath,” she sternly stated. “Is that a red light? Fuck, I can’t see.”
“Ooohhh! You said a bad word. Daddy, she’s in trouble!”
“Daisy, enough!” Dad yelled at me, placing his hand over the phone.
Now they were both making me mad.
“No! I want a shower! I don’t want a bath! I'm not a baby! I don’t want one! I want a shower! I don’t want a bath!” I screamed, kicking my leg against the booster seat over and over again, my feet slamming into the back of Mom’s seat.
“Daisy Julissa Mitchell Martinez!” she roared in Spanish. “I swear if you say one more word…”
I didn’t like it when she said my full name. It meant I was in big trouble.
“No! I don’t care!”
“Daisy, you don’t talk to your mother like that.”
“I hate you both, I really hate you! I wish you would just go away and leave me alone!” I yelled, regretting it immediately.
She instantly turned around and looked at me wide- eyed with a tear running down her face. I had never said that to them before. It just came out. I didn't mean it, I loved them both. I felt really bad. I was about to apologize and tell her I loved them, but I was cut off.
“AMARI!” Dad yelled out, grabbing the steering wheel. “This fucking idiot—”
The loud crashing noise that followed made me want to put my hands over my ears as my body was thrown forward. The car spun, whipping Mommy and Daddy’s bodies all around. I wanted to cover my eyes. I think I was screaming, or maybe that was my mom? My head hit something hard and my body felt like it was on a roller coaster ride, as we tumbled and tumbled and tumbled. I didn't know which way was up and which was down.
For a second, I caught a glimpse of Mommy's face in the mirror, and I swear she mouthed, “I love you.”
It all happened so fast, yet it played out in slow motion in front of my eyes. I heard glass shattering all over me, pieces flying through the air. The sound of crushing metal drowned out our screams.
When we finally stopped, an eerie silence filled the car. All I could hear were raindrops hitting what was left and rumbles of thunder in the distance. I was really dizzy and tired. It was hard for me to open my eyes, but when I did, what I saw…
Would forever haunt me.
***
A week went by before we stood in the pouring rain. A black umbrella placed high above our heads, a man I had only just met holding it securely in place behind us. I watched the raindrops fall, forming puddles all around us, shuddering with every single drop.
She said he was her baby brother who loved me very much but he was a very busy man and couldn’t come visit us. He always sent me gifts for my birthday and holidays so I always believed what my mommy had said. But now I wasn’t so sure.
He never smiled.
He didn’t laugh.
He barely even spoke to me.
I don’t think he liked me very much, but I still wanted to reach for h
is hand to hold it. I still wanted him to wrap his arm around me so I could hide inside his big arms and feel protected from what was happening all around us.
I bowed my head in remorse and shame.
“Are you ready, Daisy?” Uncle Alejandro’s rough voice filled the air from above me.
I nodded, lying. I wasn’t ready. I would never be ready. It surprised me when he reached for my hand. My gaze quickly followed the length of his arm up to his cold, dark eyes that never held any expression or emotion.
“The real world is a fucked up place,” he said in a neutral tone out of nowhere, making my eyes widen and my head jerk back by the way he spoke to me.
It didn’t faze him. “It’s better that you learn that now. You can’t stay a little girl forever, Daisy.”
“My name is Briggs,” I declared.
No more Michael.
No more Amari.
No. More. Daisy.
A part of me knew he wasn’t looking for an explanation. I didn’t say anything as we stepped forward, taking one last look at where my parents were laid to rest. Knowing I got my wish.
I had put them there.
Chapter 2
Austin
All the boys were like brothers to me. We grew up together in the small beach town of Oak Island, North Carolina. Our parents were all good friends since childhood, so it was only natural that we all became best friends with one another too.
Out of all the boys, I was always closest with Dylan McGraw. I don’t know why, that's just how it was. As we got older, I guess I felt like out of all of them, I could relate to Dylan the most. You could maybe even go as far as saying I looked up to him in some ways, since he was a year and some change older than me. He was twelve, and I had just turned eleven. He never gave a damn about what anyone thought or said about him. He would tell it straight to your face, not caring if he hurt your feelings or not. He never judged me. I wasn’t saying that the other boys did, but Dylan was different. He treated me like an equal.
Jacob Foster was the oldest of the boys, almost thirteen. That didn't stop Dylan from taking on the role of big brother to us all. Which was probably why I bumped heads with most of the boys and as we got older and our balls fully dropped, it only got worse. Jacob was the most levelheaded one and smart as all hell too. Which was interesting in regards to the girl he actually ended up with.
Then there was Lucas Ryder, who was only a year older than me. He was twelve going on thirty, and stubborn as shit. He had a smartass personality and sometimes he took it too far. We all loved to surf but Lucas was the most skilled, constantly riding into waves that had us all questioning his decisions. We butted heads more often than not. There were times that I thought our friendship wouldn’t survive it. The animosity towards each other grew more and more as the years went on. Eventually, down the long, unexpected road of life, I wouldn’t exist to him anymore.
We all looked out for each other in one way or another as kids. With all the time we spent together, our mannerisms and personalities crossed over from one boy to the next. It would have been rare if our traits hadn’t blended together over time.
Except for Alex.
Alexandra Collins. Our Half-Pint. The prettiest girl I had ever seen, even at the age of ten. She was wise beyond her years. There was something about her that pulled all of us boys in, time and time again. Her childlike demeanor was something she never grew out of. No matter how old she got, she constantly looked at the glass as half full. Growing up, she became our confidant, biggest supporter, and best friend. We often forgot that she was a girl and wasn’t just one of the good ol’ boys like the rest of us.
When shit really went down, I could always count on Dylan. It didn’t matter what it was or where I was, he was there at the drop of a dime. He had my back and I had his, but over the years I took our friendship for granted.
Years I couldn’t get back.
Years I couldn’t ever change.
As much as I wanted to…
As much as I tried.
After four months, we finally finished our tree house that we had been working on all summer. We messed around with Alex making her believe she wasn’t going to be allowed up there with us, telling her it was for boys only. We even went as far as making a sign that said, “No Girls Allowed” written in Jacob’s mom’s red lipstick. Of course Lucas was the first to cave and let her in, which was no surprise to any of us.
We decided to crash in the tree house that night to celebrate it finally being done. Alex was getting her sleeping bag and pillow before we even got the last word out. It was late by the time she passed out next to Lucas. They had a special bond, something none of us could come close to, or even begin to understand. It was much more than a bond. It was more like two souls destined to be together, a deeper level of love for each other and not just in the friendship kind of way. Lucas and I had our issues, but I would be lying if I said I didn't envy him when it came to her.
I think we all did in our own ways.
“She asleep?” Dylan asked, nodding toward Alex.
“Yeah,” Lucas replied, pulling up the blanket on her shoulder.
“I can’t believe she found the magazines,” Jacob groaned. “You think she'll rat us out?”
I laughed. “Nah, just don't piss her off anytime soon. What the hell did you think was going to happen? I told you not to bring them up here.”
“That was not me.” He pointed to himself. “It was that fucker over by you.”
Dylan grinned. “Please, I was doing you dickwads a favor. I’m the only one that has actually seen a pair of tits in real life.”
“Your mom’s don’t count,” I joked.
“Go fuck yourself, Austin.”
I laughed even harder, my head falling back. “Just sayin’, brother.”
“Yeah, and I’m just sayin’ you can go fuck yourself,” he chuckled back.
“You know better than to mess with Dylan’s manhood. The boy’s been kissing girls since our playground days in grade school,” Jacob chimed in.
“Someone had to show you pussies how it was done.”
We all laughed, looking over at Alex to make sure we hadn’t woken her up. It was rare not to have her prying ears listening to everything we said. We tried our best not to say vulgar things around her, but we were just boys. Things slipped out of our mouths all the time. She was innocent and a true lady. Her mama did right by her, and it shocked the shit out of all of us that our filthy mouths never rubbed off on her, especially as we got older and cusswords became a thing of the norm.
Oh and getting laid, let's not forget about that one.
“Hey, I’ll give credit where credit is due. My boy Austin here has already tongue-kissed a girl,” Dylan said proudly, squeezing my shoulder.
A few weekends before we had all gone to a girl named Stacey’s birthday party. Well, all of us but Alex, she never went to any parties. We ended up playing spin the bottle out on the beach when her parents went back inside. It was my turn to spin the bottle and it landed on Kimberly. She had braces and cut my lip. I lied to my mom telling her I bit it surfing.
“What have you done with a girl, Lucas? Jack shit,” Dylan knowingly added.
“I’m sorry I have standards and won’t make out with anything that just has tits and ass, Dylan.”
He shrugged. “You forgot curves and blonde hair. I like that shit too.”
“Does it have to be longer than yours?” Jacob goaded.
Dylan had blond hair down to his shoulders since he could walk. We all made fun of him for it. He looked like a damn girl, but they loved it.
“Just enough for me to grab onto something,” he mocked, moving his hand up and down above his dick.
“Oh, bullshit! You haven’t gotten head,” I called him out.
“Yet,” he arrogantly countered. “I know what I want out of life.”
“A girl?” Lucas asked, surprised.
“Pussy,” he simply stated.
We heard t
he rustling of a sleeping bag. Our heads simultaneously turned to where Alex was lying. She must have rolled over; she was still sound asleep. Once she was out, there was no waking her up.
“Which is more than I say can for you,” Dylan challenged, whispering to Lucas.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucas answered, taken aback.
“What do you want out of life, Bo?” Dylan baited.
“Fuck off,” he sneered.
All the boys laughed, except for me. Lucas didn’t think anyone was watching as he longingly gazed down at Alex. Knowing that all he ever wanted was her. I bowed my head, silently praying they didn’t ask me what I wanted out of life.
There was no way in hell I could give them an honest answer.
Briggs
Two years had gone by since I killed my parents.
They say that when you experience trauma, a drastic, life-alternating change, you’re suddenly forced to grow up. Become wiser beyond your years. Mature in ways that didn't make sense except to the people who may have experienced similar events.
I knew that was the case with me.
I was eight-years-old and living with my Uncle Alejandro in New York. I had been taken away from everything I had ever known and was brought there, in a city full of buildings and no one to talk to.
Home.
He moved me across the country to start a new life, a life much different than the one back home in Washington.
No warmth.
No happiness.
No love.
I had a life back there. I had everything I could ever ask for. I lived in a home full of love and laughter. Pictures lined the walls of my home. The fridge was covered with my drawings. Daisies were always on our table.
My family.
I had none of those things there.
No friends.
No family.
No parents.
Uncle Alejandro hired a nanny to take care of me, but all she did was cook my meals, clean my clothes, and watch over me. She smelled funny and didn’t say much. My driver, Esteban, was the only person who was actually nice to me and paid me any attention. He looked young and had been assigned to protect me. Uncle Alejandro used the word “bodyguard,” but I didn’t really understand what that meant or why I needed one of those, though I didn’t dare question him about it.