Which was why we never made our friendship known to his dad and stepmom, Alex. I’d never formally met either of them and probably never would. Mason’s parents were never married. They had a complicated relationship. A rough start, but they found a way to co-parent and make it work. Stacey was like us, from the wrong side of the tracks, she passed no judgment. Alex and Lucas though were a different story. They would never approve of their boy hanging anywhere near someone like me. Especially, not with the son of Devil’s Rejects’ Prez.
“Mia, Daddy’s here to get you! Grab your things, baby girl,” her momma called out from the restaurant.
“I am not a baby,” she mumbled under her breath, grabbing her board. Peering up at me. “See ya around?”
I nodded and a big smile spread across her face before she turned and left.
I would learn through the years that Mia Ryder…
Mia. Fuckin’. Ryder.
I would live and die…
For her.
SIX
MIA
“Happy birthday, dear Mia, happy birthday to you.” Everyone finished singing, clapping their hands, hooting and hollering.
“Blow out your candles, baby girl,” Dad said, swiping my hair back. Nodding toward my chocolate, surfer-themed cake. Complete with a girl riding a pink board like mine that Momma had specially made for my tenth birthday.
Shutting my eyes as tight as I could, I bit my bottom lip, placing my hands in prayer gesture out in front of me, concentrating really hard. Focusing all my efforts on my birthday wish, I blew out all the candles in front of my family, silently hoping it would come true.
“What did you wish for?” Aunt Lily asked.
“If I tell you, then it won’t come true, and I really want it to come true.” I blushed just thinking about it.
I opened my presents next while everyone ate a slice of cake on the back patio. My favorite present was the guitar Aunt Lily got me. She had been teaching me how to play for the last few years, and I was getting pretty good.
I told my parents I didn’t want a birthday party, but Momma wasn’t having that. She said it was my first birthday in the double digits, and we needed to celebrate. I just think it was another excuse for her to throw a party. She loved to entertain. If it were up to me, we would have just had my family over for a barbecue, but instead, our backyard was decked out with pink balloons, streamers, and a giant bouncy house.
I didn’t have a lot of friends, but it never bothered me since I had so many cousins. Our ages were scattered all over the place, but that never mattered, we got along just fine. We were all born and raised together in Oak Island, just like our daddies and my momma, who were all best friends since they were in diapers. Everyone called them the Good Ol’ Boys with their Half-Pint, my momma, following them around like she was a boy too. Looking at her now, I would never have guessed she wanted to be a boy.
My daddy and Aunt Lily were brother and sister. She was married to one of the boys, Uncle Jacob. They had two kids, Riley and Christian. Aunt Lily always told me that Daddy didn’t like that Uncle Jacob fell in love with his baby sister. They kept their love a secret for a long time and when Daddy found out he was with Aunt Lily, he beat him up. Uncle Jacob says he let him win, but Daddy says he’s just a pansy-ass lawyer who was just trying to save face, whatever that meant.
Uncle Dylan, another one of the boys, was married to Aunt Aubrey. He reminded me of a superhero, always carrying a gun and a badge, putting bad people behind bars. They had two daughters, Giselle and a newborn baby named Constance. Everyone says God blessed him with girls as punishment for being such a womanizing asshole. I don’t know what that means either, but Momma says I’m not allowed to repeat that.
My brother Mason started dating Giselle, they had been boyfriend and girlfriend forever, and I really loved her. I caught them kissing in Mason’s room a few times, but didn’t tell on him because I’m not a snitch. I just made him take me places with him for a week to keep my lips sealed. Of course, he did.
Uncle Austin was the last good ol’ boy. He was covered in tattoos just like Creed was, and he owned a local tattoo shop. His girlfriend was Briggs, who had bright purple hair and tattoos all over her body too. They were getting to know each other again. I guess Uncle Austin did some bad things, but he’s better now and trying to win her back. I had a feeling he would. My daddy wasn’t very happy when I asked if I could dye my hair my favorite color, bright pink. He looked at me like I had grown two heads, before saying no. When I told him I wanted to get my pink surfboard tattooed on my foot, he said not while he’s alive and breathing.
Daddy didn’t let me do anything.
Ever.
I didn’t care that some of my cousins weren’t blood-related, they were the only family I’d ever known. I loved each of them with all my heart.
“Daddy, can I go to the Southport Fourth of July festival with Mason next month?” I asked while helping Momma clean up after everyone had left.
“Mia, I already told you no,” he replied, not looking up from the blueprint in front of him on the kitchen counter.
My daddy owned his own construction company and was the best damn contractor in the tri-state area. His words, not mine.
“Yeah, but I asked you when I was nine. Newsflash, I’m ten now.”
“The answer is still no, Mia, and watch that lip, young lady.”
“Why? It’s not fair! You said Bo could go with Mason if he wanted. Last I checked, Bo is only two years older than I am,” I argued, throwing the dishes into the sink a little harder than I should have.
“That’s different,” Dad simply stated, still focused on work.
“Why, because he has a wiener?”
“Mia Ryder! You cannot say stuff like that!” Momma shouted, walking back into the kitchen.
I could hear Mason and Bo laughing their butts off over the movie they were watching from the living room. I rolled my eyes, frustrated.
Daddy sighed, dropping his pencil, and finally looking up from his paperwork. “Mason! Bo! How many times do I have to tell you to stop talking like that around your baby sister!”
“I’m not a baby!” I yelled, stomping my foot.
Mason came strolling into the room, his hair all messy from Giselle scratching his head on the couch. “Dad, she’s like a fuc—damn parrot.” He caught himself. “Most of the time I don’t even realize she’s around until it’s too late.” He opened the fridge, grabbing the jug of milk and started drinking right from the carton.
“Mason Ryder! Where are your manners, boy?” Momma reprimanded.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Did you want some?” He held up the carton to her. She gave him a look that had him putting it right back in the fridge.
“Daddy, I could have said the word dick like he does, but I used wiener instead because I’m a lady.”
Mason busted out laughing, quickly clearing his throat when Daddy gave him a stern look.
“And this is exactly why you’re not going to the festival with Mason and his foul-mouthed friends,” he justified.
“Lucas...” Momma coaxed.
“Half-Pint, don’t start. My baby girl—”
“Our baby girl,” she interrupted. Looking over at him as she loaded the dishwasher.
“I’m. Not. A. Baby!” I repeated much louder that time. Smacking my hand on the counter, needing to have my voice heard. “It’s not fair, Daddy. You know all you are doing is pushing me away. I’m gonna start doing things without asking you first because you never let me do anything. I’m not always going to be your baby girl.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Is that right?”
“Yes. That’s right.” I knew I was pushing his buttons, I knew I was crossing the line. I knew I was going to get in trouble…
I just didn’t care anymore.
“Mia, go to your room,” Momma ordered, looking from Daddy to me. Not only punishing me but saving me from my daddy’s wrath.
“Dad, she can come with me
,” Mason chimed in. “I’ll make sure everyone is on their best behavior.”
My heart soared. Mason never stuck up for me before. That alone meant everything to me.
I smiled at him.
“Your mom and I will be out of town during the festival. Mia is staying with Lily and Jacob. She won’t—”
“I don’t want—”
“Time out!” Momma interrupted all of us. “Everyone out!”
“But—”
“Mia. Now!” Dad roared, bringing my attention back to him.
“Fine,” I mumbled under my breath, turning to leave the room. Resisting the urge to slam my door once I walked into my bedroom.
I grabbed my notebook off my desk and made my way through the double doors out onto my balcony that overlooked the water. I spent the next few hours sitting in my lounger under the moon, listening to the soft lull of the waves crashing into the shore, welcoming the salty breeze coming off the ocean. The water always had a way of calming me, no matter what I was feeling or going through. It was my happy place, my own piece of Heaven, my escape. I should have been in bed sleeping like everyone else in my house, but it was summer break and I didn’t have a bedtime. I was a night owl anyway, always had been.
I scribbled thoughts, lyrics, and doodles in my notebook for I don’t know how long, finding myself writing Creed’s name in bubble letters and practicing my cursive, over and over again. Surrounding his name with pink hearts on every page. Suddenly realizing I had my first crush.
I snuggled into my throw blanket, looking up at the stars, wondering if my birthday wish would magically come true. Wishing again that it would. I yawned, my eyes growing tired from the long day I’d had. I was about to go inside and go to bed when my window shook from Mason’s bedroom door shutting. His room was next door to mine, and I could hear everything.
He must have just gotten home.
I picked up my notebook, looking back out at the water one last time when I saw him. He was walking away from my house toward the ocean, wearing the same vest he had on the last time I saw him. I immediately wondered if he was wearing the courage patch I gave him a few months ago. I giggled at the sight of him wearing his combat boots on the sand. He stopped at the shoreline, looking up at the sky, placing his hands in the pockets of his black jeans. He looked as huge and stocky as I remembered. Maybe even bigger.
Before I gave it a second thought, I ran into my room, grabbing my backpack and digging around in it. Grabbing what I was looking for, and my throw off my bed. It was chilly out on the water. I slipped out of my bedroom quietly, being extra careful not to wake anyone. I’d be in big trouble if my daddy woke since I wasn’t allowed to leave the house by myself after dark. In my defense, I wasn’t going to be alone, Creed was on the beach. I snuck out the back patio doors, closing them gently behind me. Walking down the steps onto our private piece of beach. No one would be able to see us without trespassing. He had to have come in with Mason.
“My wish came true!” I shouted over the noise of the waves.
“Ain’t it past your bedtime?” he coldly said, not turning around to face me.
“Didn’t you hear me?” I asked, wrapping the throw around my shoulders. “My wish came true, you’re here.”
He abruptly turned, narrowing his eyes at me. Taken back by my confession.
I continued on, “It was my birthday today, well yesterday seeing that it’s after midnight. Anyway, before I blew my candles out, I got to make one wish. I closed my eyes tight, wishing I would see you again, and here you are.”
“Shouldn’t be wishin’ for me, Pippin,” he stated, turning his attention back to the water.
“Pippin?”
He suddenly turned back around, reached over, and tugged on the end of one of my braided pigtails.
“Oh! Like Pippy Longstocking! She was like Peter Pan for girls. Never wanting to grow up. She's kinda my idol, a playful, unpredictable, superhuman. A freak of nature like I am on a surfboard. And she had a rad pet monkey, Mr. Nilsson.”
He nodded, still looking broody. I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted to see him laugh and smile like he did at the beach. For some reason, I felt as if he didn’t do that very often. His eyes were still so sad, and I wanted to know why so badly. My momma always said I had the ability to make people happy. That there was something about my spunky personality that made people like me. I wanted Creed to like me more than anyone else ever had.
I spoke honestly, “But if I wouldn’t have made that wish, I wouldn’t be able to give this to you.” I stepped forward, handing him another patch for his vest. “I saw it at a little shop in town when my momma and I were shopping a few weeks back. When she was in the dressing room, I grabbed it and bought it with my allowance. It reminded me of you.”
He took it from me, murmuring, “Don’t follow me. I’m lost too,” he chuckled as he read it out loud. “Not lost, Pippin. Just haven’t been found yet,” he paused, looking down at the patch in his hand. “Thank you for this.” A small smile played on his lips as he reached into his pocket, pulling something out. “I found this on the sidewalk today.” He handed me a shiny penny. “Consider it my birthday present to ya.”
I gave him a questioning glare. “Thank you… it’s what I’ve always wanted,” I sarcastically stated.
“No, smartass, the penny isn’t the gift. The wish is. Do me a favor, yeah? Don’t waste anymore wishes on me.” With that he turned and walked away, leaving me alone and confused.
“But I already made—”
“Givin’ you a do-over, Pippin. You’ll thank me later,” he called out over his shoulder.
I turned back toward the water, looking down at the penny in my open hand. Closing my fingers around it, placing it over my heart.
I didn’t need a do-over. My first wish was perfect. My second wish to see him again.
Would be too.
CREED
“Creed… Creed… Creed… please help me… if you ever loved me… find me… please help me… I’m scared, Creed… I’m so scared…” Luke pleaded from a distance.
His voice sounded so far, yet so close. It echoed all around me, making it difficult to tell what direction it was coming from. Humming into the trees like the melody of an instrumental song, vibrating deep into my bones. I turned in a circle, whipping my head from north to south, east to west. Raking my hands through my hair, breathing profusely. Before I knew it, I ran. I ran as fast as I could through the endless woods with no direction whatsoever.
“Right here.” I saw a figure out of the corner of my eye, but when I turned it was gone. “Run… run, faster, Creed! Help me!”
Every turn I took was the wrong one, always coming to a dead end. His pleas getting further and further away with each step I took. Pulling him into the black hole of the night.
The roads led me to nowhere.
“Creed… Creed… please help me… if you ever loved me… find me… please help me… I’m scared, Creed… I’m so scared…” Luke’s voice repeated in a mantra, a never-ending cycle of nothing.
“Luke! Luke! Where are you? I’m comin’, buddy. Where are you?” I yelled out into the dark night.
But it didn’t echo, it didn’t hum, there was no sound coming out of my mouth. Why couldn’t I talk? Why couldn’t he hear me? There was so much dense fog, so much fucking haze that suddenly rolled in, smothering me. Choking me. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t move. Was I running in place? My heart pounded against my chest, in my ears, through my mind, caving into my core.
I couldn’t breathe.
I was suffocating.
“Creed… Creed… please help me… if you ever loved me… you would find me… please help me… I’m scared, Creed… I’m so scared…”
The train horn sounded, snapping my attention back. The rumbling on the tracks piercing my ears, as one by one, the cars rolled by. Circling all around me with no end in sight. Glimpses of my brother flashed through the gaps. Covered in blood, standing there with his hand
over his chest, waiting.
“Creed… Creed… Creed… please help me… if you ever loved me… you would find me… please help me… I’m scared, Creed… I’m so scared…” His voice sounded closer and then further away with each word that droned out.
“Tell me where you are! Please, Luke! Just tell me where you are!” I placed my hands over my ears, trying to shut out the noises from the train, but they were just getting louder and louder and louder until all I could hear was a train and nothing else.
My mind spun.
My heart raced.
My body surrendered.
I fell to my knees, looking down at my blood-soaked hands; the Glock lay in between them.
“Creed… Creed… Creed… please help me… if you ever loved me… you would find me… please help me… I’m scared, Creed… I’m so scared…”
“I’m so sorry, Luke! I’m so fucking sorry!” I bawled uncontrollably. Lifting the gun up to my chin.
“Creed! Creed! It’s okay! Wake up! It’s okay!” Autumn’s sweet voice coaxed, merging in with all the harshness. “Shhh… it’s okay… I’m here, Creed! I’m here!”
I didn’t hesitate. I never do.
I pulled the trigger.
BANG.
I shot straight up in my bed, gasping for air. Panting for my next breath, staring out in front of me. Sweat dripped from my pores, running down the sides of my face. I didn’t move, trying to rationalize what was real and what was still a dream.
A fucking nightmare.
“Creed…” Autumn sympathized, reaching for my face.
I caught her wrist midair. “Don’t,” I crudely demanded, shoving her arm away.