Happily Letter After - Page 88
I wasn’t going to argue with that. I couldn’t imagine going home alone right now with the weight of this decision wearing me down.
We didn’t have sex that night. Sebastian just held me until I fell asleep in his arms, so confused and scared—yet safe and loved.The following morning, it might have seemed like any normal start to a day as the three of us sat in the kitchen having breakfast together. But it felt far from normal. I couldn’t stop staring at her. Her blonde hair . . . was it from me? Her nose . . . it wasn’t exactly like Sebastian’s. Did it look like mine?
“I was surprised to see you here,” Birdie said to me. “You’re never here for breakfast with us.”
Sebastian cleared his throat. “Sadie spent the night last night. How do you feel about her doing that more often? Maybe every weekend?”
Birdie shrugged and smiled. “Duh.”
Sebastian and I grinned at each other as he reached across the table for my hand.
I was in a total daze. As much as I wanted this dilemma to go away, I knew that the decision wasn’t going to come easy or soon.
Birdie and I ended up taking Marmaduke to the park after breakfast, enjoying the late-autumn beauty of the city.
When we returned to the house, we were alone, since Sebastian had been gone at the restaurant most of the day. After Birdie retreated to her room to read a book for a school assignment, I wandered the house aimlessly until I landed right in front of one of the photos of Amanda in Sebastian’s room.
I lifted the frame and stared into her smiling eyes.
It felt natural to speak to her even though I knew she wasn’t really here to listen. “What did you intend? Why did you collect those articles? Were you trying to find me or were you hoping to leave a trail? Were you just curious about me?” I sighed. “Or maybe we have it all wrong. I wish I could ask you what you would want me to do right now.” A tear escaped down my cheek.
If Amanda’s intention was to find me, why wouldn’t she have actually contacted me? She knew she was dying. She apparently knew where to find me. And she never did. So why stalk my articles? I would never know what she wanted. Sebastian had left the decision to me. On one hand, I appreciated that he’d done that. On the other, it might have been easier if someone could just tell me the right thing to do.
“I’m sorry, Amanda. I’m so sorry. I hope you’re in a better place. I promise you I’ll look after Birdie. I’ll protect her and make sure she has a female role model. Thank you for bringing her into the world. And thank you for leading me to Sebastian. I know it’s awkward for me to be thanking you for leading me to your husband. But I promise to love him and to cherish him and to never try to take your place. I truly feel that you would want him to be happy, even if he seems unsure of that. Woman to woman, I know in my heart that you wouldn’t want him to be sad and alone.”
“Hey.”
I jumped when Sebastian entered the room.
“You’re back early,” I said as I put down the photo.
“What were you doing?” he asked.
“I was . . . talking to Amanda. Asking her for guidance. Is that crazy?”
He smiled. “I do it all the time. All the freaking time.”
“Does it ever help?”
“Sometimes I hear her swearing at me, telling me to man up and stop complaining to her.” He chuckled.
“I’m . . . no closer to a decision on what to do. I think I really need to take some time to think about it.”
“Take all the time you need.”
“I think I need to go visit my dad.”
“Does your father know you donated your eggs?”
I nodded. “Yeah. I told him before I was going to do it. He wasn’t exactly thrilled, but he understood. And in the end, he supported my decision.”
“Your dad’s a great guy. Maybe he can help you decide what’s best. I think it’s a good idea to talk to him.”
Nodding, I wiped my eyes. “I’ll probably head out there next weekend.”
He placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “Sounds like a plan. Let’s sit on this until then.”CHAPTER 29
SADIE
“That’s some crazy story.” My father shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. I’d just spent a full hour unloading the entire unbelievable tale, from how I’d come to meet the Maxwell family because of Amanda clipping my articles to how they’d received a donated egg. He’d known some of it already, but not the entire crazy thing. Honestly, saying it out loud truly made the whole thing sound like something from a soap opera. It had been a week since Sebastian had told me everything, and it still felt surreal.
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