“I didn’t see her out there. I should have seen her, Kail. I’m… sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I squeeze him a little tighter and rest my stinging cheek against his chest.
Neither one of us moves for a while after that. He strokes my back and comforts me in a way I suspect he’s never known himself. It’s just so messed up. I know I’m not supposed to care, but how can I not? He’s human. He has a heart. And I’m sure he has feelings, even if he buries them under all the sarcasm and dark looks.
As I cling to him, I realize I have feelings too. A strange new mix of emotions that nagging voice in my head insists are dangerous to me. But are they? When I look up at him, I don’t want to believe it anymore. I want… I think I want something else. God, this is so confusing.
Landon brushes his palms over the goose bumps on my arms, and I hope he thinks they’re from the chill in the air and not something else.
“Let’s go inside,” he says.
I nod, and he takes my hand as though we aren’t mortal enemies and leads me into the pool house. It’s strange how comfortable he feels here. Like he can just show up anytime and make himself at home. It’s even more unnerving how safe I feel with him here.
“Wait here.” He parks me on the gray lounger and heads to the fridge, filling a baggie full of ice and wrapping it in a thin towel. When he returns, he gently presses it against my red cheek, his eyes clouding over with so many emotions it’s hard to identify them all.
“She’s insane,” he growls. “But I never thought she’d come after you—”
“Tell me I’m right.” My thumb skims over the new burn scar on his neck. “She was the one who hurt you. Wasn’t she?”
His shoulders strain, but he shrugs like it’s no big deal.
“More than once?”
His silence tells me I’m right. Part of me wants to ask him how many times it happened, but the other part of me realizes I couldn’t handle those details without completely losing my shit again.
“You have to get away from her. We need to do something!” I’m tugging at him desperately. My voice is frantic in a way I’ve never heard it. I just can’t imagine him spending one more second around her.
“I already have, Kail.” His fingers smooth away the worried lines on my face. “I emancipated myself from her care when I was fifteen. But that doesn’t stop her from showing up anyway.”
I shake my head in refusal. “Something else then. There has to be something else. A restraining order maybe—”
He kisses me to shut me up, and it works. I don’t know how to help him, but I do know how to kiss him. It isn’t something I have to think about. It’s animal instinct that has me yanking him closer until his body nearly collapses over mine. His knee comes to rest between my thighs while his hands dent the cushion on either side of my head. His tongue slips past my lips. I hum my approval, and he swallows it like the sound gives him life.
My hands slide beneath his tee shirt, skating over the warm expanse of his back. He’s so hot looming over me like this. So huge, he could squash me if he wanted to. I need to feel more of his body on me. I need all of it.
I wrap my thighs around his hips and grab a handful of his shirt, giving it a firm tug. He falls further into me, just like I want, but I’m greedy, and it’s still not enough.
“Skin,” I breathe the word against his lips. I want to feel his skin.
He tugs his shirt off and tosses it aside, and we both drag in a deep breath before our lips meet again. Landon kisses me the way all girls should be kissed. Passionate, intense, and real. It isn’t just a means to an end. He could lie here all night, never coming up for air. We could do this until the world implodes. It would be a fine way to go. I’d have no complaints. Except I’m achingly wet between my thighs. I need him to fill that space. I need him to make me whole again.
I reach down and rub his erection through his jeans, groping him as though it’s the last chance I’ll ever get. Subconsciously, I’m aware of how dangerous this game is. Landon doesn’t know I haven’t been with anyone else. It might be easy for him to switch on and off, but it isn’t for me. If I give myself to him right now, I could end up hurt worse than I already am. But if I don’t give myself to him right now, I might wither up and die anyway.