Jose didn’t know it yet, but I had costumes for her and Liv to wear tomorrow. I’d been planning to break the news to her over dinner tonight, but that hadn’t gone to plan, obviously. Tomorrow was going to go to plan, though, and nothing was going to change my mind about it.
Plus, she still hadn’t fulfilled the dare, and now it had just gotten that little bit better because if she argued, it was going to be a double dare._______________
Nine hours later…“No way in hell am I dressing up as your wench,” she growled. “I’ll dress Liv up because her baby pirate outfit is adorable, and you can wear your Captain Morgan outfit and swig rum all day long, but I’m staying in what I’m wearing,” she gestured to her tank top which had a photo of Captain Jack Sparrow on it and her shorts. She looked cute as hell, but this just wasn’t going to work.
“Nope, you’re wearing this,” I held up the semi-tasteful pirates wench dress – which didn’t look unlike something you’d see a waitress wearing at Oktoberfest mixed with stereotypical pirate shit, including a patterned red bandana for her hair.
“Not happening, Captain.”
Looking down at Liv who was watching us, I asked, “Do you think Mommy should wear the dress for your Ellis?” When she grinned and stuck her fist in her mouth, I took that as a yes. “See?”
“No.”
Taking a deep breath in, I tried to proceed without showing all of my cards this early on in the negotiations. “No one will see you, you’ll just blend in with everyone else. And just so you know, they’ll all be dressed up and celebrating, too.” When she didn’t say anything or move to get changed, I said fuck it, and laid that trump card down. “Ok then, I double dare you to put it on.”
Liv burst out laughing when her Mommy gasped, and I had to tilt my head slightly so that my face was behind hers and Jose didn’t see me smiling. Not saying a word, she got up, snatched the outfit from my hand, made a fart noise with her mouth, and stormed away.
I turned a still giggling Liv to face me, and whispered, “I kinda like your Mommy, so this is going to happen a lot.” When she blew me a bubble in response, I figured she was ok with that. “I need you to help me out, kid, ok?” I asked, holding my hand out, intending to pick hers up to smack a high five on it like I normally did. This time, though, she actually did it all by herself, hitting me perfectly on the palm with her tiny hand. My princess was a freaking genius, and she was totally going to help me out!Jose
I felt and looked like a complete dickhead. I’d seen commercials for Oktoberfest and the outfits that the barmaids wore for it, and the abomination that Ellis had picked up for me just didn’t seem much different. Well, except for the colors and patterns on it, those were definitely different. When I’d raised this with him on the way here, he’d agreed and said he’d thought the same thing about it. Whether or not that was comforting, I wasn’t sure, but I felt like a German pirate hooker wearing it. “Stop fidgeting.”
Stopping and turning to glare at the man in question, I softened when I saw my sweet baby girl dressed up in her tiny copy of Penélope Cruz’s outfit from Pirates of the Caribbean, complete with the cutest little hat ever. That all stopped when I looked back at him, though. “Stop fidgeting? Have you seen what I’m wearing? I look like I’m waiting to turn tricks for rum and whatever money they used back then. I mean, look at the length of it. I don’t think it was made for someone my height, and I’m not even that tall.”
“You look adorable,” he chuckled, looking at the crowd moving around us.
Opening my mouth to set him straight on how I looked like a German beer addicted pirate hooker, I was interrupted by the sound of hooves coming up behind me. “Ahoy there, me hardy! I see you’ve got yourself a wench, and a little… oh Jesus, she’s cute, ain’t she? Pass her over here.”
Turning around just as Hurst Townsend bent over to reach for Liv, I stopped when I saw the size of the horse he was on. “Uh, that’s a beer addicted pirate hooker,” I mumbled, taking a step back.
“No way, old man. She’s not going on that horse,” Ellis replied firmly, holding on tighter to the baby.
Sitting up straight in his saddle, he had the audacity to look affronted by the denial. “Don’t be a hog. I never get to hold her, what with you and that douchebag with the sheriff’s badge.”