“Hello? Mom? Is everything okay?” I asked.
“Is that how you answer the phone these days?” Mom asked.
I let out a gust of breath as I dropped down to sit on the edge of the bed and rubbed my eyes with my fingers. It made little spots of light and color dance against my eyelids and then in front of me when I opened my eyes again, but it helped to cut through some of the sleepiness.
“I was still sleeping,” I said. “And my phone rang so many times I thought something was wrong. Are you okay? Is Dad okay?”
“Everybody’s fine,” she said. “I didn’t realize you would still be sleeping at this time of day.”
“I’m trying to catch up,” I explained. “It’s been a long time since I’ve just gotten the chance to sleep in. We kept the bar closed today.”
“I know, that’s why I’m calling. Since you all have the day off, I thought it would be nice to have a family dinner,” she said.
“Sure. That sounds like fun. You want me to pick something up on the way over?” I asked.
“No,” she said. “The weather is gorgeous today. I’m wanting to get out and enjoy some fresh air, so I’m going to start up the grill.”
“Are you sure? I can come help you.”
“I can do it, honey. I’m feeling really good recently. And it’s good for me to do things like this,” she said.
“I know. I just worry about you. What time do you want me to come over?”
She gave me just enough time to wake myself up the rest of the way and get a shower before heading over. I was the last to arrive. By the time I walked around to the back deck, Matt, Tyler, and Jesse had taken up residence in lounge chairs and were sipping what looked like glasses of my mother’s famous watermelon lemonade.
Mom grinned at me as I climbed up onto the deck. She poured me a glass of lemonade, and I accepted it as I leaned in to kiss her cheek. The grill was already going, pumping out smoke that carried the delicious smell of beef, chicken, and charcoal. That was the smell of summers during my childhood. As soon as the weather got warm enough, Dad would venture outside with tongs and lighter in hand.
A few meals a week came from his trusty grill. Always charcoal, never gas. Even when propane grills and showing off your manhood with the size of your rig got popular, he stayed true to his charcoal. Anything he could think of ended up steeped in the distinctive smoke, from hamburgers and kabobs, to sliced peaches and mushrooms. There was also one ill-advised pizza attempt we never spoke of again.
Those were the types of memories I tried to hang on to as I watched my parents fight through cancer. The disease and the treatments had taken their toll on both of them. But every time I noticed they looked tired or the weight that had dropped from their frames, I dug myself back down into my memories. Getting them back to that point was why we were working as hard as we were.
“So, it’s nice you’re able to take a day off,” Mom said, settling onto another chair.
There was a note in her voice that made me look over at her. It was almost leading, like she was trying to say something else with those words.
“Yeah, it is,” I said. “Working every day was starting to run me ragged. But things are looking up. We’ve had a bump in business, and I’m starting to work on some plans to improve it even more.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed my brothers exchanging glances, then looked over at our mother.
“So your brothers told me Ava is working up at the bar now,” she said.
Her voice had that false casual quality people injected when wanting to sound breezy about a subject that was anything but. She swirled her straw around in her glass and looked at me with a calm, even expression. That was a kind of practiced self-control that came from raising a houseful of sons who constantly got themselves into messes.
She wanted to know more about it, particularly how I felt, but was doing everything in her power not to come across as desperately interested. Even though I knew that’s exactly what she was. Mom had always really loved Ava. Even when we were just kids, before our relationship became serious, she was wrapped up in the idea of Ava and me. Our relationship ending was hard on her, and part of me felt like she hadn’t ever moved past it.
“She is,” I said. “We hired her as a bartender, but she’s going to be helping us with business aspects as well.”
Mom looked at me with slightly raised eyebrows, waiting for more. “Oh. That’s nice. I thought I heard she was back in town. Matt actually mentioned he had seen her. I didn’t realize she moved back. Did you know she was coming?”