But Sean knew the truth, knew how much it was costing his brother to be here. Billy had said he’d never come back to the duplex and it was clear the specter of what had happened upstairs was prowling around in the guy’s head. Billy’s eyes kept lifting to the ceiling as if he could see through the plaster and the Sheetrock and the framing boards into the past.
He was making an effort to keep tight, though, and Lizzie seemed to be having a great time as the two of them cooked then put dinner on the table. Man, it was a perfect summer meal. The hamburgers were stacked with juicy beef-steak tomatoes that spilled out of the bun as you bit down. The corn was sweet and tender. The lemonade was perfect and very chilly.
Except he didn’t enjoy it as much as he could have. While they ate, he tried to get lost in the talk and the food, but it was tough. Even though he was in that post-migraine float zone where everything had soft edges, he kept thinking about Billy.
By the time a bag of oatmeal cookies was passed around, he was feeling the strain in his head.
After Billy told a real barn-burner of a story and Lizzie laughed so hard she was gasping for air, Sean’s brother checked his sports watch. “I’ve got an early PT session tomorrow so unfortunately I have to take off soon.” He got to his feet and picked up his plate as well as Lizzie’s. “This has been great. Would love to do it again soon.”
Lizzie grinned at him. “Yeah, well, I’d love to hear more stories from the locker room.”
“I knew you were my kind of girl.” The faux-leer Billy shot over his shoulder somehow managed to be both outrageous and respectful at the same time.
Which meant Sean didn’t have to snap his brother’s chain. Too hard. “Forget it, Billy, she’s out of your league.”
“I know. Too smart.” Billy smiled at Lizzie. “You’d have to be smart to get through nursing school, right?”
“It helps,” she said, winking at him.
Sean stood up. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
“Great.” As Lizzie rose from the table, as well, Billy stuck his hand out at her. “I’d hug you but I think my brother would hurt me.”
“No, he wouldn’t,” she said.
Lizzie stretched up onto her toes and threw her arms around Billy. He was so big, she looked as if she were embracing the hood of a car, her reach not long enough by half. In response, Billy handled her gently, the way he did with all women. As a man who knew his strength, he was always careful around those more fragile than him.
Which was pretty much everyone on the planet.
“Okay, you can stop that,” Sean said, putting his hand on Billy’s shoulder and pulling back with a little tug.
Billy let go and wagged his eyebrows at Lizzie. “See. Told you.”
She batted his tattooed bicep. “You know Sean’s just kidding.”
Yeah, the hell he was. “Come on, big man. Out.”
As Billy laughed, Sean frog-marched him to the apartment’s door, but they both got serious as he opened the thing. Stepping out into the foyer, he deliberately stood in the way of the staircase, trying to block as much of it as he could with his body.
Billy’s eyes went up to the top landing and his mouth got grim.
Sean shook his head. “Come on, Billy. Let’s go.”
They went out of the house in silence and stayed that way while walking over to Billy’s custom-rigged Denali.
“I didn’t want you to come here,” Sean said.
“Couldn’t stay away forever.”
“Yeah, you could have. And I’d have preferred that.”
Billy’s face tilted upward as he looked to the second-floor apartment. “What’s it like in there?”
“Same. Exactly the same.”
“Freak you out?”
“Yeah.”
“You need help packing?”
“No.” Not from his little brother, at any rate.
Billy rubbed his square jaw. “Did you see him dead?”
“Yeah.”
“What did he look like?”
“Older. But like that damned apartment, the same.”
There was a long period of quiet.
Down at the end of the street, a car turned onto the road. Its engine was a muted drone that got louder as it approached, then faded after it went by.
“You heard from Mac yet?” Billy asked.
“I left him another message a couple of days ago. Next time I’m just going to tell the voice mail.”
“Wish he’d call.”
“Me, too.”
Billy leaned back against the SUV and cleared his throat. As he crossed his arms, his thick chest flexed. “So Lizzie’s nice.”
“She is.”
“Not your usual type.”
“And not yours, either.” Which was a ridiculous thing to say but he couldn’t help it.
Billy laughed. “Oh, relax yourself. I know she’s off-limits. How long have you been together?”
“We’re not.”
“Bull.”
“Fine. Let’s just say…there are complications.”
“Only if you want to have them.”
“Please, no Dr. Phil, okay?”
Billy shrugged. “Just haven’t seen you look at a woman like that before.”
Don’t ask. Don’t ask. Don’t be an idiot and—“How do I look at her?”
Idiot.
“Like you’re actually seeing her.”
“Whatever.”
“Hey, I’m glad.” Billy shoved a hand into his jeans pocket and took out a set of keys. “At least one of us might have a shot at getting married.”
“I never said anything—”
“Touchy, touchy, touchy.” Billy grinned and hit the car remote. As the Denali’s lights flashed, the lock on the driver’s side door made a little punching sound. “So you really do like her, huh?”
“Look, Billy, there’s no—”
“You don’t have to get defensive about it.”
“I’m not being defensive!” As Billy laughed again, Sean cleared his throat. “I’m not.”
“Oh. Really. Well, lemme remind you that as a linebacker, defense is my profession. So I’m good at spotting it.”
“On the field, maybe.”
Billy pointed to the ground. “And you’re standing on grass as we speak.”
While Billy got into the car and put the window down, Sean cursed and stepped onto the sidewalk. “You going to be in town over the next couple of weeks?” he asked.
“I’ve got some away games, but other than that I’m here. You know, I’m sorry you missed today’s match-up. But maybe you could come and watch me play some other time?”
“Yeah, absolutely.”
“Bring Lizzie.”
“We’ll see.” It would have to depend on whether she was around. God…he hoped she’d be around.
Billy stretched his arm out the window and the two gripped palms. There was a long moment as their eyes met.
“No looking back,” Sean said. “We don’t look back, remember?”
It was the credo they’d hung on to as scared children…then had reaffirmed as reckless college guys…and now lived out as best they could as adult men.
Billy nodded. “No looking back.”
He put the car in gear and drove away.
As Sean watched the brake lights fade, he got pissed off that their father had been such a bastard. Billy might not have been hit as much, but he’d been ridden hard for being “stupid” because he was dyslexic and couldn’t read very well.
Which was why he’d only been partially joking when he’d said Lizzie was out of his league because she was so smart.