“Oh, there you are! I was beginning to believe you were a post wedding runaway bride!” Yakov said. His tone was dry, but not angry.
Good. At least he wasn’t mad, she thought, but he might be later, depending on what the results of the test in her purse were. She’d just have to deal with that somehow.
“No. I just lost track of the time. I’m sorry.”
“Are you okay? Ruby said you were sick last night.”
“I was. I feel better today.”
“Good. Glad to hear it. Are you hungry?”
Much to her surprise, she found herself saying yes. Something definitely wasn’t right.
“Yakov, I’m going to go upstairs and drop off my bag and get changed before dinner,” she told him.
“Oh, I’m not having dinner here. I’ve got plans. I’ll have the kitchen make you whatever you want. Also, I’ll be gone for the next two days, so if you want to stay at your place, that’s fine. I can tell people that you are just packing some things there. When I come back, though, I’ve got another party planned to announce our marriage. I’ll need you back for that and you’ll need to plan on staying here every night after that, even if I’m out of town.”
“Got it.”
Aileen couldn’t help but note how short he was being. He wasn’t being rude, but there was nothing affectionate about his words, that was for sure. She could tell that something had changed about him. He was cold, distant. It was if the weekend had never happened.
Making her way up to her room, she sat down on her bed and took a deep breath. It was all she could do to even reach into her purse to retrieve the small stick that would tell her just how badly she had fucked up. Finally, she willed herself to pull it free and look at it. She blinked and stared down at it. A plus sign.
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
How could this have happened? Once. One time he hadn’t pulled out. Once. It was crazy that this was happening so quickly. Not only was she pregnant but the symptoms were almost immediate. What a damned mess. She threw the stick across the room and it bounced off the door, clattering to the floor as she fell apart on the bed, sobbing into her pillow.
A knock on the door startled her from her mental breakdown.
“Yes,” she called out.
“It’s Ruby. Will you be having dinner?”
“No, Ruby. I’ll just grab a sandwich later if I’m hungry,” she said.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Thanks.”
She heard Ruby’s footsteps retreating down the hallway and sat up on the side of the bed, looking over to where the pregnancy test still lay on the floor. This was a nightmare. All she had needed to do was to make it through three to six months of a fake marriage and she’d be a half million dollars richer. Instead, she’d gotten herself knocked up by a man who neither wanted a wife or children.
Her mind drifted back to what Yakov had said about his parents, that his father had married his mother because she was pregnant and there had never been any real love between them. This was his history repeating itself. Did she really want to marry a man just because she was pregnant? Did she want to marry at all? What was the alternative? To raise the children alone?
She could end it, she knew that, but she wasn’t sure that was an option she was willing to seriously consider. It was the only option that would keep her from having to tell Yakov, to see the disappointment on his face, but how was that fair to anyone? She pondered it some more, considering his reaction. Hadn’t he been in the bed with her? It had been his choice not to pull out. He had never failed to do so before, not once. So, why had he on that last night of their trip?
Was it possible that he had wanted this to happen? Had he been willing to chance it? If so, why? She chastised herself for her thinking about this as if it were her sole responsibility. She hadn’t gotten pregnant alone and she shouldn’t have to make the choice alone. More importantly, she shouldn’t feel like the blame was solely on her.
Washing her face and pulling her hair up into a messy bun, she made her way downstairs to find Ruby. It wasn’t difficult, as the young woman was in the kitchen polishing silverware.
“Change your mind?’ she asked when she saw Aileen enter.
“Yes. Do we have any ham and cheese?”
“Of course. Ham and cheese sandwich then?”
“That would be great. What about pickles?”
“Yes. Sweet or gherkins?”
“Gherkins. Just bring me the jar and a fork, if you don’t mind.”
Ruby looked at her, a bit puzzled, but fetched the jar of pickles from the fridge and handed them to her, along with a fork. She busied herself making the ham and cheese sandwich to go with it. Before Aileen realized it, she had eaten the sandwich and half the jar of pickles.