When they returned, she signed with them present and handed it back to Yakov, who signed and passed it to Charlotte. Aileen watched as she pulled out a stamp and notarized it personally.
“That’s that then. I’ll get you copies of these hand-delivered to you personally in a sealed envelope.”
“Sounds good,” Yakov said, standing to escort her out, with Aileen following along behind them.
“Best of luck to the two of you and your little ones,” Charlotte said, sounding sincere, despite her obvious distaste for the situation itself.
So, that was it then. Nothing had changed between her and Yakov. Perhaps they had grown closer in some ways, but they were still strangers and she was still just the mother of the children he had fathered. After all her talk about not just becoming a vessel for some man’s babies, she had become that anyway. It was depressing in a way she couldn’t wrap her mind completely around, but there was nothing to change it.
The best she could do now was just try to accomplish what she could in spite of this setback. She could still have a life if she focused on not losing site of her goals in a sea of dirty diapers and jars of baby food.CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVEThe following day, Yakov was up early, having once again slept in her bed curled up with her. It was baffling, really. He didn’t want a relationship, but he seemed to enjoy sleeping in her bed with her, whether they had sex or not. He wasn’t overly affectionate outside of foreplay and he didn’t care for small talk, but he did like to cuddle, so it wasn’t a total loss. She wondered why he never asked her down to his room if he really wanted to be comfortable, so she asked.
“My room isn’t as nice as this one,” he said.
“I find that hard to believe. There is nothing in this house that isn’t of the most exquisite taste.”
“My room isn’t like the other rooms in this house.”
“What’s different about it?”
“Just more my taste, is all.”
Aileen let it go. She had never seen his bedroom. It was on the lower floor and place far back into an alcove toward the back of the house. The door was always kept closed and, on the occasions that she had seen it open briefly for entry or exit, there seemed to be a foyer and another door that blocked view of an interior past that small space
“I have to go out of town for a couple of days again. We’re starting the work on the new resort near the one you and I went to on our honeymoon,” he said, as if their honeymoon had been a real thing.
“Oh, I didn’t realize they had gotten back to you on that. I guess we don’t really discuss your business though,” she said.
He hesitated for a moment, as if to think about what he wanted to say and then continued. “Do you want to go with me?”
“What? Why?”
“I thought you might like to have a couple of days on the beach is all. I don’t mind you coming with me if you want.”
“Thanks, but I have a lot to do to get my house ready for the babies,” she said.
“I see,” he said. He sounded disappointed or was that her imagination? He was so hard to read, nothing like her at all. For her part, she knew that despite her best efforts, she had fallen head over heels in love with Yakov. He was a hard man to love, that was certain and he would never return her affections, but she had lost the battle of trying to resist her feelings for him, though she wasn’t exactly sure when that had happened or exactly why.
A part of her wanted to go, but she felt like it was best to keep some distance between them wherever she could. Yakov was confusing her with his rollercoaster moods. One minute he wanted to kiss and cuddle. They were having sex on a regular basis, sometimes several times a day, but he was still emotionally unavailable. They shared secrets, but only those that were required to continue their little scam.
“Did you want me to go?” she asked, a part of her feeling hopeful that he might say yes, despite knowing she shouldn’t be getting too attached to him. Soon, it would be time to let him go and that would be much sooner than expected.
“I’m always up for company, especially good company,” he replied.
It wasn’t exactly the words a girl would long to overhear, but it was probably about as complimentary as it got coming from Yakov. Still, she needed to stop trying to make something of this thing, whatever it was, between them. No. It was better that she stay here and tend to the things she needed to take care of rather than jetting off to some exotic paradise with him. It was better that she stuff her love for him down and let it fade into the darkness from which it had come.