The Amendment (The Contract 2)

Why couldn’t they understand when I was away from him, I couldn’t relax? No sleep came to me in those few hours I was gone. I threw up anything I tried to eat, my body rejecting even the lightest of meals.

I knew how hard they were all trying. That this small group of people, Graham, Laura, Jenna, Maddox, and even Brad, were all doing everything they could to help me. They had a schedule so I could take breaks, go for a walk, eat, shower, sleep. See my girls. They all were positive and helpful, ignoring my small outbursts and smiling in understanding.

I resented them all and hated myself for it, so I let the anger simmer inside, holding back the ugliness as much as I could, ashamed and shocked at my reaction.

I lifted Gracie’s chin. “Sorry, baby. Mommy is tired.”

She stared at me, her eyes sad. “Otay, Mommy. I go play?”

I slid her off my knee, shame burning in me for upsetting my child. “Yeah, baby. Jenna is going to take you and Heather to the park.”

That made her happy. She loved the park. “Otay!” she repeated, this time in excitement.

She scooped up a couple of stuffed animals and ran for the door, her sadness forgotten.

I watched her go, wishing it were that easy for me.I stroked Richard’s cheek, scowling at the roughness of his skin. I reached for the tube of cream, gently rubbing it into his face.

I glanced at Maddox, impatience flooding my tone. “If you’re going to force me to leave, the least you can do is make sure Richard is being looked after.”

He was silent.

I picked up the lip balm and swiped it over Richard’s lips, wiping away a little excess with my thumb.

“His lips are dry. I don’t want them bleeding when he wakes up.”

“I put some on a couple of hours ago, Katy,” he stated mildly. “And I don’t force you to leave. You agreed it was best not to exhaust yourself. Although,” he muttered, “I’m not sure it’s doing anyone much good.”

“What?” I snapped.

“Nothing.” He sat back. “I heard Gracie asking for Richard again this morning.”

“She asks for him every day. On every call, every time I go see her. It’s the first thing she asks for.”

“Maybe you should give her what she wants.”

I gaped at him. “You want me to bring my toddler to see her father lying in a coma? Do you know what that would do to her to see him unresponsive?”

He shrugged. “Maybe if she saw him, and knew he was alive, she would settle. She would know you aren’t lying and that he is really asleep.” He shrugged. “Maybe he would hear her voice and respond.”

“No.”

“I think—”

I cut him off. “I don’t care what you think, Maddox. The answer is no. It would be too traumatic for her.”

He set aside his laptop and stood. “More traumatic than seeing her mother wasting away? To have her little life blown apart and not understand what is happening?”

My heart plummeted. “You’re exaggerating.”

“No, I’m not. You’re not there at night when she sobs in her sleep, Katy. Crying out for her mommy and daddy. Weeps in my arms and can’t settle until we walk with her while she cries herself to sleep. You’re not there when Heather can’t relax and fusses for hours on end, needing you.”

I was stunned by his words.

“I think if Gracie saw him, it would help, not hurt. And I think you need to sort your priorities.”

The anger, the bitterness I had been swallowing down exploded, and I lost it.

“My priorities? Stop telling me what to do!” I screamed, all rational thought gone. “I am sick of being told what to do and where to go! Leave me alone!”

“No.”

I crossed the room and pushed at his chest. “I don’t want to go see the girls.” I pushed again. “I don’t want to bring Gracie here. I’m tired of eating when I don’t want to. I’m tired of taking your goddamn orders!”

He remained in place, his feet firmly planted on the linoleum. “Too bad.”

“Fuck you, Maddox Riley! I’m not leaving this hospital again until my husband wakes up!”

“Yell all you want.”

“Get out,” I hissed. “Get out, go home, and leave us alone.”

“Not happening.”

I pummeled his chest, my fists hitting him in useless blows that did nothing except make me angrier.

He was unmovable.

“I want everyone gone! All of you!”

He shook his head.

“Screw your schedules! Your sympathy and your looks of pity! I don’t want any of it,” I snarled. “I don’t want any of you here.”

“Too bad,” he repeated.

“I’m getting you removed—you won’t be allowed in here,” I seethed and started to pace. “Richard’s going to kick your ass when he wakes up. He’ll be furious that you upset me and about the way you have treated me!”

He crossed his arms. “Is that right?”