“It’s all yours if you want it.”
“Nope,” he insisted. “Perks of being Gramps. I turn them over to you when they smell or get too loud.”
Chuckling, I took Gavin and headed upstairs to the nursery.
Gavin grizzled into his fists, gnawing at them and making his frustrated noises.
“Like that, is it, my boy?” I asked. “Hungry too?” I kissed his brow. “Don’t worry, Daddy’s got you.”
I loved feeding him. The way he burrowed close and suckled. Snuggled in and slept after being burped. Katy had experienced a problem breastfeeding with Heather and had made the decision to bottle-feed this time, so I got to feed one while she fed the other. I found it a great bonding time and hated sharing.
That was the perk of being Daddy.The house was dark when I made my final round before going to bed to check on my children.
I un-starfished Gracie and covered her back up, kissing her head.
I rescued Heather from the bottom of her new big-girl bed and laid her back on top of her pillow. She wouldn’t stay there for long. She loved to roll lengthwise and rarely slept where she was supposed to.
Penny was asleep, her tiny chin moving as she slumbered, but no noise escaping her mouth. Gavin stirred as I got close, and I stood beside their shared crib, stroking his head until he fell asleep. He made a low grunting noise that made me chuckle.
In our room, Katy was asleep. I knew we’d be up in a couple of hours and that I needed to do the same, but my mind didn’t shut off.
I thought of my past in comparison to my future.
One so cold and devoid of emotion, I became the same way. The other bright with promise and happiness.
My blessings were long.
Four children I never thought I would have.
A home filled with light and love.
Family and friends I cared for. Who returned the sentiment.
And a wife who gave it all to me simply by being herself.
Warm, loving, and real.
Because of her—I had it all.
Life was good.
And the future?
I could see it all. The first days of school, watching my kids grow, holidays, vacations, joy, tears, kisses, hugs. Love. Growing, laughing, sharing, learning. Together.
I glanced over at my wife, my need to see her loving gaze too strong to ignore.
“Katy, sweetheart,” I urged quietly. “Wake up.”
Her eyes fluttered open.
“What is it? Are the babies—”
I shook my head, cutting her off. “No.”
She must have seen something on my face, because she cupped my cheek.
“What is, my darling?”
I swallowed the thickness building in my throat. “I wanted to tell you I love you. God, I love you, Katy VanRyan.”
She stroked my face with her fingers. “I love you.”
I brushed my mouth along hers. “Thank you.”
She smiled, knowing and understanding. She always did.
I tapped the end of her nose. “Now go to sleep. My children will need to be fed soon, and I can’t do it all myself, you know.”
She snuggled closer, carefully moving until she was comfortable.
“Go fuck yourself, VanRyan.”
I chuckled. That was exactly what I wanted to hear. What I needed to hear.
And she knew.
Because, yeah, it was Katy.
My future.