“This is not the place for the discussion we need to have. You know that. And I don’t appreciate you showing up at Twisted expecting me to fall in line to deal with a problem that has nothing to do with our intimate relationship.”
“You really think I’d do that? Try to enforce the Domme-sub rules here between us now?”
“Why else would you be here and not sitting on my front porch?”
“Because I tried that for a few hours and you didn’t come home.”
Knox could see the bruises on her face even beneath the mask, and his mind’s eye quickly imagined how the rest of her body was ravaged—and that pissed him the fuck off.
“How bad?” he gritted out.
Shiori didn’t play coy. “Bad. No TKO. But after the first round, I knew I didn’t stand a chance against her.” Her haunted eyes searched his. “I knew you were right.”
“Jesus, Shiori.” Then he remembered where they were. “What am I supposed to do with that admission now? It fucking kills me that you got into the ring with her.”
Her words tumbled out in a rush of emotion. “I’m cocky, and it bit me in the ass. I proved what a know-it-all bitch I can be. I accused you of using our personal relationship to keep me from stepping in the ring with her even when you tried to convince me it wasn’t personal. I’m stubborn. And it didn’t help matters that I was jealous and I took the chance to beat the piss out of a woman you used to fuck. So I was the one who used our relationship as a reason to defy you. And in doing so I realized—too late—that I’d undermined you in the worst way possible.” She took a second to breathe. “I’m sorry. It’s not enough, and it’s probably too late, but you need to know that I didn’t walk away Thursday night unscathed. And my hurt had nothing to do with the pain Mia inflicted on me.”
They stared at each other.
“Where do we go from here?” she asked.
There was the opening to ask the question that’d been weighing on him. “What’s your favorite part of being a Domme?”
She blinked at him, startled at the change in subject. “What?”
“Answer the question. What’s your favorite part of being a Domme?”
“Not my favorite part of being your Domme?”
He shook his head.
As she struggled to answer, Knox felt compelled to point out, “It’s not sex, since you haven’t fucked all the subs you’ve been with.”
“All the subs makes it sound like I’ve had a cast of thousands,” she murmured. “I could answer this better if you gave me some options, because I’m drawing a blank.”
“You need power in the bedroom. Why? At Okada you were one of the top ten executives. It wasn’t like you were a whipping boy who needed another outlet to reclaim power. You already had it.”
She looked down at her hands. “I was the whipping boy in my marriage. I had to settle for the little he gave me. So my favorite part of being a Domme is getting what I want for a change.”
“What do you want?”
When her gaze met his, the raw emotion in her eyes robbed him of air. “Affection.”
He couldn’t speak.
“Do you know what it’s like to be starved for a lover’s touch? I do. I craved the caress of a man’s hand on my skin. I wanted kisses, touches, a connection of the intimate kind because every guy I’d been with had denied me that basic pleasure.” She closed her eyes. “Why do you think I didn’t have sex with my previous submissives? Because when I was in charge, I could demand they give me what I’d been deprived of. I wanted that affection even if I had to force it. I needed it so much more than another emotionless fuck.”
Sweet baby Jesus. How had he not seen this? From the very first time they’d become intimate, Shiori had insisted some part of his body stay in constant contact with hers. He’d considered it a cute quirk, not a deep-seated need. To realize she’d been denied that made him ache for her.
“I’ve never told anyone that.” Her voice broke. “The poor little rich girl who has to command a man into giving her simple human affection.” She glanced up. Her voice was barely above a whisper. “Please tell me what I can do to fix this between us.”
How about you humiliate yourself like you humiliated me?
He’d never demand that of her, but that’s what his male ego wanted, because that’s how she’d handle it. Like when she used the switch on him for acting like one.
“Should I apologize to everyone at Black Arts for questioning your authority? I will. But after I got the beat-down in the ring, I’m the one who looks like the fool and the tool. Not you.”