“Ha.” Fabric rustled in the background. Mistress Keiko spoke to someone in a soft and sweet tone. “Sorry for that. Now that I’m up, I’m sending Muja to make my tea.”
“Muja lasted more than a month? I’m surprised.”
“Muja is my only submissive these days,” she chided gently. “If you’d been here even once in the last year, you’d know that.”
“It’s not like I’m avoiding you. I’m still in the United States.”
“Permanently?”
“No.” That sounded more definitive than she’d intended.
“So what can I help you with?”
That was all the prompting Shiori needed. The situation with Knox poured out of her.
Mistress Keiko remained quiet for quite a while after Shiori finished talking. Then she sighed. “You know what I’m going to say.”
She braced herself.
“You need to cut him loose.”
Her stomach flipped. Her heart ached. An automatic denial sprang to her lips. “Give me a really good reason why you think that’s my only option.”
“Because even if he truly accepts what he is, you can’t keep him without harming him.”
“So I should set him free before he withers and dies in my captivity?”
“Your temporary captivity,” she corrected. “Proceed with caution, Shiori-san. From what you’ve told me, I suspect he’ll be submissive to only one woman—the first woman who breaks down his walls. Say that woman is you. You’re there now, but you don’t intend to stay. What happens to him then?”
“I don’t know.”
“Yes, you do,” she said sharply. “Be honest with me, but most of all, be honest with yourself.”
“I leave him here with an awareness of what he is and no Mistress to guide him or give him what he needs,” she recited with a bitter edge.
“Exactly. So you put the crack in his walls. Let some other Mistress knock them down the rest of the way and put him back together as she sees fit.”
A spike of jealousy caused her to snap. “So I just say, ‘Thank you for giving me your trust, but I’m done playing with you now’ and walk away?”
“Yes. Do it as soon as possible before you lose any more control of the situation.” Mistress Keiko sighed. “Your job as a Dominant is to set the parameters to suit yourself, not to suit your submissive.”
Bullshit. Maybe at first she believed in Keiko’s philosophy; be a rigid Mistress, act all-powerful and all-knowing at all times. But now Shiori realized she didn’t have to follow anyone’s rules but her own. “Thanks for the reminder, Mistress.”
“You’re just saying that to placate me,” Keiko complained. “You are stubborn and you will do whatever you want regardless of the advice I pass on.”
Shiori laughed. “True.”
“Then why did you call me?”
“You’re my mentor, and I wanted to make sure I was on the right path.”
“I was your mentor, and you’ve gone off the path completely. But I can’t fault you for that.” She paused. “Trust your instincts and he will too. Good luck.” She hung up.
A sense of melancholy washed over her. Then her thoughts rolled back to her conversation with Merrick and how he viewed her. After Mistress Keiko had cut her loose, as Mistress B she’d found freedom and confidence in herself, even if she did nothing more than strut around proclaiming her status as a Domme.
That jarred her.
Had she only been playing a part and that’s why she’d always heeded her mentor’s advice and rules?
No. She was a Domme. She hadn’t needed her own rules because she’d never ventured outside the club scene—which had its own rules. Now she had the submissive she’d been searching for. From the very start Knox had given her everything of himself, everything she’d asked for.
What had she given him of herself in return besides orgasms?
Nothing.
So much for your claim that you’d put his needs above your own.
Had she even considered his needs?
She remembered last week he’d mentioned changing the parameters of the time they spent together. Why hadn’t she made time to talk to him about it?
Because she’d been too concerned with maintaining her distance. Keeping a solid line between Shiori, his second-in-command, and Mistress B, his Domme.
If she wanted this to work, things had to change—she had to change.
She just hoped she hadn’t come to this realization too late.