“No,” Anna exclaims, her tone both pleading and hard at the same time. She lowers her voice a tad. “No, thank you. I love my job. Love being part of this team, and I love we’re still looking for Malik. Being involved in this makes what happened to Jimmy almost bearable. He believed in his job and so do I, no matter the pain or risk to my heart.”
No one says a word, although our hearts are clearly heavy with sympathy. Anna gives a cough to clear her throat, leveling Kynan with a bright smile. “As it stands, I’ve actually got to get going so I can pick Avery up at my mom’s.”
“Stay and have pizza with us,” Joslyn pleads, her expression conveying she doesn’t believe for a moment Anna is as strong as she’s trying to portray.
But as I study her, taking in the stubborn tilt to her chin and the clarity in her eyes, I actually think she’s strong as fuck.
“I really can’t,” she says to Joslyn, giving a confident smile. “But I’m definitely in on next month’s dinner.”
She turns my way, giving me a much quieter smile, which I have a hard time returning. Anna nods before pivoting on her heel, then makes her way back to the elevator. We wave as she starts to descend out of sight. When she’s gone, I spin on Kynan.
“Why do you let Anna take risks but not me?” I demand.
Immediately, I feel Griff move closer to me, a clear sign of solidarity. My words are taking him as much by surprise as Kynan, judging by the look on his face, but I’m sure Griff understands where I’m going with this.
Kynan cocks an eyebrow.
“She just told you that she knows the risks to her heart by working here at Jameson, given what happened to Jimmy,” I explain, very aware that calling him out like this in front of everyone is probably not cool. Griff’s arm goes around my waist, and he squeezes. “And you let her do it. So I want to know why, when it’s me offering to take risks, you won’t let me.”
“Not the same thing,” Kynan says in a low, warning tone. “You’re talking risks to her heart, but with you… we’re talking about a risk to your life.”
I glare at Kynan. “And yet, you let Cruce, Saint, and Cage take risks with their lives all the time.”
Kynan flushes beet red over that assertion. I’m calling out the double standard, yet he still has a response to it. “They are trained for their missions. They have special skills—”
“Then protect me,” I snarl. “It’s not that difficult, and I just need to get within a block or so of his apartment. Jesus… why can’t you let me do this so I can get my damn life back?”
“Bebe,” Kynan murmurs, apology written all over his face, but he’s clearly not moved.
A wash of emotion comes over me, then I get hyper-focused on my situation. I’ve only felt this way one other time in my life, and I remember it with crystal clarity.
It was the moment I decided to let myself get caught by the U.S. government when I stole the nuclear codes—when I decided to sacrifice myself for my son’s safety and welfare.
It blankets me with a soothing calm I very much need now, because I have to get my life back.
Raising an arm, I point a steadfast finger at Kynan. “You send me to New York and let me see this to completion… or I quit.”
Griff’s fingers jerk against my waist. Kynan’s eyes flare with surprise, even as his jaw locks down in clear anger over my demand. We stare at each other, both having drawn a very deep line the other doesn’t want to cross. It’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop and I wonder, no matter what happens after this, if I have just irrevocably ruined my good relationship with Kynan by giving him this ultimatum.
Finally, he gives me a curt nod. “Fine. You can go.”
My body feels like it might collapse against Griff in pure relief, and I flash Kynan a brilliant and wide grin. “It will be fine. I promise. We’ll get in, get it knocked out, and…”
My words die off as Kynan marches around the counter, moves right past me and Griff without even acknowledging me, and stomps down the stairs.
I whip my head toward Joslyn, because she knows him better than anyone and I need to know how badly I just fucked up my relationship with the man.
Pursing her lips, she gives me a slight shrug before moving off after her husband. We all watch her start down the stairs until she’s out of sight, the silence becoming awkward.
Then the buzzer on the oven goes off, startling us.
“Pizza’s ready,” Dozer says with a laugh, grabbing a pair of oven mitts from the counter.