“Not like she can understand me,” he replies dismissively.
“Yeah, but you’ll develop a habit of lying to her as she gets older, then I’ll spend a fortune in therapy trying to deprogram her from all the crap you tell her.”
Cage snorts, heading over to my tiny kitchen table that only seats two. This little apartment isn’t much, but it’s all I need right now. It’s only a one-bedroom, and I put Avery’s nursery in the bedroom. I bought a good pull-out couch for the living room, which is where I sleep. My mom still doesn’t understand my need to be on my own, but I just couldn’t go back to living at home. It seemed like a huge step backward in my life of independence. I also couldn’t continue living in the house Jimmy and I had just rented when we moved to the area after he accepted the job at Jameson.
The life I was supposed to lead with him seemed different than the one I ended up with, and everything in that little house was too painful of a reminder that I was never going to live that particular dream.
I bring Cage’s beer to him, then set it on the table. He ignores it, completely smitten with Avery. I lean against the short counter, watching them for a few blissful moments. When people fuss over my daughter, I love it. It makes me feel more normal since I do it all the time. But seriously… she’s just the cutest baby ever.
The oven timer dings, startling me. I set my beer down, straightening to check on my enchiladas. The cheese is slightly browned and bubbly, which is just perfect. I pull it out, set it on top of the stove, and turn the heat off so it can rest a bit.
Nonchalantly, as I reach across the counter for my beer, I mention, “I saw Malik today.”
His attention doesn’t waver from Avery. “Yeah… I heard he came back today, but I didn’t see him.”
“He’s staying in one of the apartments.”
“He probably debriefed today,” Cage says, eyes still pinned on Avery as he smiles at her. “I doubt Kynan will put him right back in the field, though. Not after all that guy went through.”
I know the details since I’d relentlessly grilled Cage about them—the deplorable hole Malik had been thrown in, freezing weather, near-starvation conditions, and loneliness. My stomach churns every time I think about it.
“Did you kill the men who took Malik?” I ask, a detail I had not pressed for before.
That gets Cage’s attention, and he swivels my way. He doesn’t hesitate to answer me, though, respecting my ability to handle information. After all, I made Kynan tell me all the details about how Jimmy died and as much as he could tell me about the mission itself without violating security issues.
“I have no clue about the actual men who took Malik, but yes, we killed the ones who were guarding him. There were others we didn’t get as they rotated out every few days.”
“Good,” I reply softly, gaze going to Avery nestled in Cage’s arms. It’s almost as if it’s a bit of vengeance for Jimmy’s sake that some of the men associated with his death are now dead.
Bonus points for Malik’s sake since those men deserved it after what they did to him.
“You think Malik will be all right?” I ask.
His eyes linger on me before he shrugs and looks back down at Avery, continuing to gently rock her back and forth. “I think he’s the type who can deal. I mean, he has a Special Forces background. He’s trained for just that type of scenario. Bottom line… we all have to pull deep to overcome stuff like that.”
I jerk my chin inward, my stomach tightening at his insinuation. “Have you had to overcome something like that?”
“Yeah,” he replies, which makes my stomach twist tighter. He glances between me and Avery. “I was on a Jameson mission almost two years ago with Bodie. I got shot—”
“What?” I exclaim, interrupting him.
Cage shoots me a “shush” look. He pointedly nods at Avery who’s drowsing in his arms. His voice is low, soft, and without any hesitation about sharing this with me. “We both got captured. Luckily, our captors treated our wounds pretty effectively. The government quickly had a joint CIA and SEAL team in place and on the ground. We were rescued in less than twenty-four hours, so nothing like what Malik went through.”
“Don’t diminish—”
“I’m not,” he assures me, head swinging my way again. He stands up from his chair, moves to the bassinet, and places a sleeping Avery into it. Cage straightens, comes toward me, and puts both hands on my shoulders. “But this is what we train for. We all know what might happen and the price we may pay. And every one of us who Kynan hires to be part of his team, well, we all have something inside helping us to overcome. Maybe it’s an acceptance that fate will be a bitch if she wants. We can’t control it, or maybe it’s just we have a little something extra that normal people don’t. I can’t describe it. But, bottom line, I think Malik’s the type who will move past this just fine.”