“Russet and I are going to go on a walk, if that’s okay?”
Mom pats my arm. “Oh, sweetheart, you don’t have to ask permission. You’re a grown woman.” Then taking my hand in hers, she admires the glittering ring. “An engaged woman to boot.”
“Are you hurt I kept it from you? That I shared a summer with Russet after high school?”
Mom sighs. “I trust you had your reasons, but sweetheart, I would have loved to be a shoulder to cry on.”
“I felt like I messed up after he left, and then I wondered if my ambition — wanting to be a mom and wife — wasn’t quite enough.”
“I think those dreams are beautiful ones.” Mom tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “You and your brother are my whole world. I’ve had work to provide for us, but if I could have stayed home and cooked from up, taken care of the house … been there for your school field trips and recitals, well, I would have seen that as a privilege.”
I blink back tears, wishing I’d opened up with my mom earlier.
“Besides, your dreams are no big secret, Autumn. You’ve been a nanny since you graduated. You love taking care of children. What a blessing it will be to take care of your own.”
I smile, my cheeks heating up. “Well, I have to actually sleep with him first.”
Mom lifts her eyebrows. “You and Russet never …”
I shake my head, not ashamed, and not feeling like this is something to hide. “I’ve never…”
She wraps me in her arms. “Oh love, how sweet to have the man you marry be the first man you share that with.”
“Is this weird, talking about all this?”
Mom and I laugh. “It can be weird if you want it to be.”
“I don’t want it to be,” I tell her.
“What’s so funny?” Russet asks, walking into the kitchen.
“Oh nothing,” I say, as Mom covers her mouth.
“Well, I did realize we’re out of whipped cream, maybe you guys could take a long drive and pick some up on your way back, instead of a walk?”
I chuckle. She is being so funny about all this. “Okay, Mom, we’ll get right on it.”
“I bet you will.” Her shoulders shake she’s laughing so hard.
In the car Russet asks what that was all about.
“Oh, my mother just knows we’re about to have sex for the very first time. That was her way of blessing the situation.”
Russet lifts an eyebrow. “Is that a thing? A sex blessing?”
“It is Thanksgiving,” I say, laughing as he puts the car in reverse. “Maybe it’s another way of saying grace?”
Russet grins, looking over at me. “So you said something about us having sex?”
I nod. “Is this too much, too fast?”
He shakes his head, looking so handsome, so in control. “Too fast? We kissed, confessed our love and got engaged an hour after we walked through your mother’s door. I don’t think we can go any faster, Autumn.”
“Good. Because I really, really want to finish what we started in the hallway.”Minutes later he’s swiping the keycard to his hotel room door, and picking me up, carrying me to the bed. He is so strong, and in his arms I feel so beautiful. He’d never mention my muffin top or say I don’t need seconds. Russet looks at me and loves what he sees.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I really am. Leaving you was the stupidest thing I ever did.”
“We both had growing up to do,” I tell him, slipping off my shoes and unzipping my dress. I’m so glad I put on these lacy panties.
“How did you grow up?” he asks, pulling off his shirt and pants. His muscles are taut and corded and send a ripple of want over me.
The dress is set aside and I run a hand over my breasts. “I grew a little more after you left.”
He groans, taking in my now DDs. I had a growth spurt a little late. “You like them?” I ask, knowing he does by the way he moves to the bed, pulling me into his arms. He massages my tits, and pulls down he lacy cup, his fingers on my hard nipples.
“I fucking love them. They doubled in size,” he says.
“Are you nervous about committing to me without ever sleeping with me first?” I ask. I know that before me he had several girls.
His jaw tenses as he cups my face. “Autumn, it never crossed my mind. All I’ve thought about was this, holding you in my arms, filling your slick pussy and taking good care of you. Never once did I think it might be bad. That’s impossible.”
I nod. “Prove it,” I say playfully.
He laughs. “I love you so damn much. Four years is way too long.”
“Never again.”
“When I’m deployed, you’ll be alone, months at a time, can you do that, Autumn? I mean, have you thought about that?”